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Old 12-03-2012, 10:03 PM   #1
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Rude?

Would it be rude to send this to all of DS's grandparents and great grandparents? I'm just so sick of the plastic, annoying, flashy toys. Also, we love in a tiny house and don't have room for a million toys.

I would like to ask all you grandparents to please not go overboard shopping for Brendon (well for our family in general really) if you plan on shopping for him at all. He already has everything thing he needs (as do we) and plenty of toys and with all the stuff he got at his party I'm not sure where we are going to put everything in our tiny house. I don't know if you have already gotten his gift, but if not, a swing, slide, or sand box for outside would be awesome so we don't have to keep it in the house. As far as inside toys go, we really prefer simple and/or wood toys over flashy, noisy, plastic ones. We are trying to offer him toys that provide open ended, imaginative play opportunities, will not over stimulate him, and will last awhile. Wooden blocks, wooden train sets, a shape sorter, a simple xylophone, drum, or maracas, balls (he loves the pokey, sensory balls), books, a wooden pounding bench, a rug with roads printed onto it, and wooden cars or trucks are all good things. I am really not trying to sound ungrateful or rain on your parade. I still want you to have fun shopping, and we will appreciate anything you get him. I just thought I'd throw our preferences out there for future reference and in case you needed ideas.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:09 PM   #2
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Re: Rude?

Personally, I feel it is better to have a talk with with "grandmother in chief" for each family instead of a blanket email or letter to them all at once. I think expressing your concerns and feelings will bring you closer together and that's in part what the holidays are about.

I would be slightly ticked off if I got a blanket letter like this instead of a phone call to discuss gift exchange ideas, but that is just my honest opinion. I totally understand where you are coming from, but I think it should be a personal conversation.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:14 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Resellmybelle
Personally, I feel it is better to have a talk with with "grandmother in chief" for each family instead of a blanket email or letter to them all at once. I think expressing your concerns and feelings will bring you closer together and that's in part what the holidays are about.

I would be slightly ticked off if I got a blanket letter like this instead of a phone call to discuss gift exchange ideas, but that is just my honest opinion. I totally understand where you are coming from, but I think it should be a personal conversation.
I agree with this.

I think this is a scenario for a conversation, not really a letter.
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Old 12-04-2012, 12:21 PM   #4
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Re: Rude?

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Originally Posted by Resellmybelle View Post
Personally, I feel it is better to have a talk with with "grandmother in chief" for each family instead of a blanket email or letter to them all at once. I think expressing your concerns and feelings will bring you closer together and that's in part what the holidays are about.

I would be slightly ticked off if I got a blanket letter like this instead of a phone call to discuss gift exchange ideas, but that is just my honest opinion. I totally understand where you are coming from, but I think it should be a personal conversation.
This is my first thought. And you could do a letter, maybe, but I would reword it. I saw a gift idea letter once....I think maybe in Mothering? that was very good. It seemed like it did a good job of getting the point across without coming across harshly. I know a couple of the ideas it had was classic toys--something that was big from the grandparents day and a story to go along with it. I think that's an awesome idea. Another thing I remember it suggesting was an experience...a day with Grandparents at the park, a trip to the zoo, a memebership to a club...that kind of thing. I think that's awesome gift ideas too--plus no junk clogging up the house!
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:11 PM   #5
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Re: Rude?

Rude? Eh. I wouldn't have a problem with it.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:19 PM   #6
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I totally get why you would want to send the letter but yes imho I think it could be viewed as rude. My mom doesnt always pick the gifts I would choose for DS or DD (like you we prefer wood toys, instruments, art stuff) but--she picks him things she thinks he will enjoy. She gets that joy of watching him open something she got for him. If she asks me my opinion about what to buy, I give it to her.

I wouldnt send a blanket letter like that bc I would be worried someone would think I was telling them the gifts they have been getting all along suck. If I wanted to do a letter like this what I would do would be to make a cute email saying "My Wish List to Santa" with a pic. Something cute that seems less serious. Then put on there a little list. Like: outdoor toys, wooden instruments or blocks, etc. It kinda gets the hint across but a lil less demanding? But I def wouldnt be too particular bc afterall it is a gift.

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Old 12-03-2012, 10:24 PM   #7
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Hmm. I really think this kind of request requires a lot of class. And a PHONE CALL. No letter. Sorry. I am all for efficiency/ but as I age into my wisdom years, I do think we hide from speaking to people. Tone is very hard to read. And if you are genuinely asking for what's best for your family, alittle sugar and sweetness goes a long way. And for THAT generation- that starts with hearing your voice


Eta: I did not read anyone else's responses before posting. So I think you can see, easily, a letter really doesn't suit the situation for a lot of us..
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:33 PM   #8
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Re: Rude?

I agree with everyone else that it's more of a discuss in person type of thing, rather than shoot everyone the same email kind of thing.

Also, I think the wording itself is a bit off putting. I like the previous poster's suggestion of "my wish list to santa" or something similar. In my family, passing around lists of ideas for each kid is not just common, but expected. And they are lists of ideas of what the kids would like, not a list that basically says-here are ideas because we don't want you to buy other stuff. I think there's a subtle difference and your wording in the letter leans more towards the latter....and that can come off as rude.
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Old 12-03-2012, 10:37 PM   #9
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I agree with everyone else that it should be done in person. Emails can be taken wrong.
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Old 12-03-2012, 11:15 PM   #10
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Re: Rude?

I would shorten it to just this:
a swing, slide, or sand box for outside would be awesome so we don't have to keep it in the house. As far as inside toys go, we really prefer simple and/or wood toys over flashy, noisy, plastic ones. We are trying to offer him toys that provide open ended, imaginative play opportunities, will not over stimulate him, and will last awhile. Wooden blocks, wooden train sets, a shape sorter, a simple xylophone, drum, or maracas, balls (he loves the pokey, sensory balls), books, a wooden pounding bench, a rug with roads printed onto it, and wooden cars or trucks are all good things
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