Diaper Swappers

RainandRedemption · 12-04-2012, 09:49 AM

Dh and I both lack confidence.

What can we do to help our kids grow up confident in themselves? Book suggestions, or anything?

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joyous · 12-04-2012, 10:16 AM

So I haven't actually read this book, but it comes highly recommended from a therapist friend and is on my list. It's called The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS.../chrisficti-20

I also think it's important to work on our own level of confidence, because no matter what we say to our kids, they pick up so much from our own views of ourselves. It is definitely something I am working on. So much of parenting is modeling. They pick up on subtleties. I am realizing it more and more as I watch my DD grow, and as I examine my own perceptions based on my parents. Not that if we're not confident our kids are doomed to have low self-esteem. Not at all. But working on ourselves is a good place to start. Not just for our kids, but because we deserve to think well of ourselves.

RainandRedemption · 12-04-2012, 10:57 AM

You are so right! My self image is awful. Dh's is not as bad most of the time. Thanks for the book recommend I will check it out! Reviews look pretty good

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mibarra · 12-04-2012, 12:43 PM

I think the best thing to do is work on your own confidence. When you are comfortable and confident in yourselves, I think that rubs off some. I also praise my kids efforts (not their results), and try to make sure my compliments don't depend on perfect products or appearances. So instead of saying 'What a pretty house you drew', I say "I can see you worked hard on your picture, can you tell me about it?"

bluedaisyma · 12-04-2012, 01:03 PM

I don't think I have a lot of self-confidence. My kids, however, exude it. I think it's the way I raise them. I encourage them to do their best and applaud their efforts. I accept who they are, without judgement. I always felt like I was never "good enough" in my mom's eyes. I know she loves me, but it's always little digs ("oh you aren't going to put on lipstick before we go out" "you're so pretty, why don't you lose weight"). So, I have high expectations for my kids of behavior and so forth, but I model it and help them with ways to achieve their goals and importantly, to embrace WHO they are, not what they do or don't do.

12-04-2012, 09:49 AM	#1
RainandRedemption Registered Users Formerly: windandrainmama Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 5,090 Ratings: 62 Feedback: 100%	Raising confident children Dh and I both lack confidence. What can we do to help our kids grow up confident in themselves? Book suggestions, or anything? Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum __________________ * Jen~ happy, homeschooling mom to two * Expecting #3 in Aug 2013! * * Trade with me! *

12-04-2012, 10:16 AM	#2
joyous Registered Users Formerly: erika375 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Southern California Posts: 1,811 Ratings: 24 Feedback: 100%	So I haven't actually read this book, but it comes highly recommended from a therapist friend and is on my list. It's called The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS.../chrisficti-20 I also think it's important to work on our own level of confidence, because no matter what we say to our kids, they pick up so much from our own views of ourselves. It is definitely something I am working on. So much of parenting is modeling. They pick up on subtleties. I am realizing it more and more as I watch my DD grow, and as I examine my own perceptions based on my parents. Not that if we're not confident our kids are doomed to have low self-esteem. Not at all. But working on ourselves is a good place to start. Not just for our kids, but because we deserve to think well of ourselves. __________________ Single mama to my sweet D. Taking life one day at a time.

12-04-2012, 10:57 AM	#3
RainandRedemption Registered Users Formerly: windandrainmama Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 5,090 Ratings: 62 Feedback: 100%	You are so right! My self image is awful. Dh's is not as bad most of the time. Thanks for the book recommend I will check it out! Reviews look pretty good Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum __________________ * Jen~ happy, homeschooling mom to two * Expecting #3 in Aug 2013! * * Trade with me! *

12-04-2012, 12:43 PM	#4
mibarra Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 6,092 Ratings: 88 Feedback: 100%	Re: Raising confident children I think the best thing to do is work on your own confidence. When you are comfortable and confident in yourselves, I think that rubs off some. I also praise my kids efforts (not their results), and try to make sure my compliments don't depend on perfect products or appearances. So instead of saying 'What a pretty house you drew', I say "I can see you worked hard on your picture, can you tell me about it?"

12-04-2012, 01:03 PM	#5
bluedaisyma Registered Users Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 6,796 Ratings: 27 Feedback: 100%	Re: Raising confident children I don't think I have a lot of self-confidence. My kids, however, exude it. I think it's the way I raise them. I encourage them to do their best and applaud their efforts. I accept who they are, without judgement. I always felt like I was never "good enough" in my mom's eyes. I know she loves me, but it's always little digs ("oh you aren't going to put on lipstick before we go out" "you're so pretty, why don't you lose weight"). So, I have high expectations for my kids of behavior and so forth, but I model it and help them with ways to achieve their goals and importantly, to embrace WHO they are, not what they do or don't do. __________________ Jul, Mama to 1/2 dozen boys; and been doing those "off-beat" parenting things way before they were cool and learning more each day!