Christmas with a special needs child - write your own blurb/advice/experience here

[mekat]

I will start.

Lesson #101 with a nonverbal child. Never show them 2 pictures of toys and ask them to point to what they want for Christmas. The answer will always be both toys. My son definitely subscribes to the more is better philosophy.

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by mekat I will start. Lesson #101 with a nonverbal child. Never show them 2 pictures of toys and ask them to point to what they want for Christmas. The answer will always be both toys. My son definitely subscribes to the more is better philosophy.

LOL!!!!

Lesson #102

Don't let kiddo open the toy with a million pieces first. Kiddo will have a meltdown if you don't put it together right then and there.

[Mommy2JandS]

Lesson #103- Do not overwhelm your child with too many Christmas gifts to open or huge family gatherings with too many people.

[NewbieSAHM]

Originally Posted by Mommy2JandS Lesson #103- Do not overwhelm your child with too many Christmas gifts to open or huge family gatherings with too many people.

These are all good, but I sure wish I'd had this bit of advice prior to this year. I think we've finally convinced family to limit the number of gifts! They overdo it more and more each year (in-laws) and DS would be much more content to just open ONE thing and have it ready to play with than 30 separate gifts.

[Mommy2JandS]

Originally Posted by NewbieSAHM These are all good, but I sure wish I'd had this bit of advice prior to this year. I think we've finally convinced family to limit the number of gifts! They overdo it more and more each year (in-laws) and DS would be much more content to just open ONE thing and have it ready to play with than 30 separate gifts.

This lesson finally clicked for us last year. My MIL always buys way too much for everyone, but J can not handle it. He was ready to be done after 4 or 5 gifts and she kept pushing him to open them all which did not go over well.

[NewbieSAHM]

Originally Posted by Mommy2JandS This lesson finally clicked for us last year. My MIL always buys way too much for everyone, but J can not handle it. He was ready to be done after 4 or 5 gifts and she kept pushing him to open them all which did not go over well.

This is DS every year. This year we asked that they contribute money to one large/high price gift and leave it at that. They were concerned that he'd feel left out since his cousin will have many more packages to open. I'm hoping they don't decide to get additional gifts. They mean well, but the pressure to open everything and expectation for him to be excited is a bit too much.

[jen_batten]

Lesson #104

Be willing to sacrifice your wants for your SN child's needs. If you go to the huge gathering with the overwhelming amount of people because you really, really want to, both you and the child will be miserable. If you stay home, only you will be miserable, lol. Maybe hire a trusted sitter, so you get most of what you want, and your child does okay too.

[UnderTheStars]

Originally Posted by luvsviola LOL!!!! Lesson #102 Don't let kiddo open the toy with a million pieces first. Kiddo will have a meltdown if you don't put it together right then and there.

To elaborate on this: Have all your xmas toys that require assembly put together and ready under the tree so you aren't scambling for a screwdriver while your LO is screaming and/or busy losing all of the important pieces.

Also, feed the poor kid ahead of time so they don't get overstimulated at big gatherings and end up screeching and throwing sweet potatoes at grandma.

[iris0110]

Lesson #105 do not allow your sensory child watch a holiday classic while opening gifts if you want him to actually open gifts instead of staring at the TV. My mother always left Rudolf and Frosty playing in the background when we were kids and we ignored it, doesn't work so well for Kearnan.

[mekat]

I like the responses. We usually set up a little play area away from the crowds when with family so he can retreat and not get over stimmed. The one time we weren't able to do that it resulted in a total meltdown.

Lesson #106 or whatever number we are on now.

Invariably someone will ask me what my son is getting for Christmas directly in front of him or worse what Santa is getting him for Christmas. His understanding of the spoken language is perfect, he just can't speak. He still believes in Santa and I certainly don't want to ruin the magic of Christmas by ruining all his surprises so this puts me in a bad situation. Never assume a non-verbal child doesn't understand what is being said. If you wouldn't want a certain question to be asked in front of your child then don't ask it in front of mine. Thankfully there is a local group that gets it and helps keep the magic of Santa alive for the local special needs kids. This is the event my son went to today.