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Old 12-04-2012, 11:39 PM   #1
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apparently being a sham is easy

So my so had the nerve to say staying home with my 3,2, and 10 week old is easy....ummmmno??? He said i am the one taking care of the kids and he goes to work to provide and shouldn't have to help!!! Ahhhh
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Old 12-04-2012, 11:52 PM   #2
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I left my DH to handle our then 15 month old without doing any prep work. After 6 hours he got the point. Child care + housework + managing a family is a LOT of work. Sorry he is being a turd
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:04 AM   #3
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

i always looked at it like he house was my job, work was his job and parenting was both our job. when i sah i pretty much had x take care of the kids (except nursing of course) when he was home
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Old 12-05-2012, 10:16 AM   #4
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

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i always looked at it like he house was my job, work was his job and parenting was both our job. when i sah i pretty much had x take care of the kids (except nursing of course) when he was home
This is how it should be. Dads need to be a part of all parenting, or they will be left out of something and feel disrespected. Parenting is for both parents.
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:35 AM   #5
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One day he's not working tell him you're going out and just leave. Leave the kids there, obviously. Come home at dinner. Rant and rave about anything dirty. Also about dinner not being done. Any children in need of changing, not bathed, etc. He's being a butt and ime, they don't get it until they've experienced it.

Another thing I did was get quotes from daycares. I showed dh and said consider this my contribution. Every penny we save on diapers because I have time to wash cloth, my contribution. Every dollar not wasted because I do the budget, my contribution.

I thank dh all the time for making this possible for me, because it was my dream. However, he also tells me all the time he doesn't know how I do it.
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:36 AM   #6
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i always looked at it like he house was my job, work was his job and parenting was both our job. when i sah i pretty much had x take care of the kids (except nursing of course) when he was home
This is how it works in my house too. When dh gets home, he's on baby duty while I sort out whatever I wasn't able to do in the house that day.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:32 AM   #7
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

I leave DH alone with the kids OFTEN. Like, at least once or twice a wk while I run errands in the evenings after he gets home from work.

IME, he will NEVER be able to get everything done. I come home to the house looking worse than when I left it, but he does make a concerted effort to care for the kids, and they are *usually* fed, bathed, and in bed when I get back.

I think doing it this way does two things: Allows me some time to myself - even though it is grocery shopping or dopping off dry cleaning, and helps him to have a little perspective about what it is like caring for little kids.

So for us, this is how things work.

On days I don't go anywhere, he is usually happy to see the kids and plays with them while I finish dinner, or work on some other household chore I didn't finish during the day.

I really can't complain about my DH, he is awesome. But, I think that would fade away if we did things differently than we do now. It's so easy to take someone for granted before you've walked a mile in their shoes!
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:37 AM   #8
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

Does anyone else enjoy that sahm is sham in the title?

Yep- I agree- leave him with the kids- but only for a couple hours- the kids shouldn't have to suffer because he has no idea what caring for several young children requires.
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Old 12-05-2012, 07:46 AM   #9
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

I had this exact conversation with my dh last night! He said that I had it sooo easy! Right now I am frantically typing this while my 10 month is complaining because he wants the iPad. Taking care of little ones is NOT easy!!
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:02 AM   #10
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Re: apparently being a sham is easy

My DH has stayed home at least one day a week (he doesnt' work on Mondays) with the kids since DS1 was born. I always kinda laugh at the moms who have to leave detailed lists for their DH's if they have to leave them with the kids for a couple hours.

the first day back to work after DD was born all I had to do was leave a note telling him what time the baby ate last and a bottle in the fridge.

I really think that dads that don't get time alone with their kids without mom leaving everything ready, notes ect does a disservise to the dad. They are very capable if given the chance but I see so many moms (WOH and SAH) that never leave the kids with their DH's and then if they have to out of necesisty it is a dissaster. We are two different people, so of course he isnt' going to do everything the same as I do. But the kids are happy and fed. If they are still in jamiies who cares.

DH now gets the 5year old up, dressed, and on the bus to school by 7:40 and the 3yr old and baby up dressed fed and off to daycare every morning by 9am and them himself to work.

We didn't have daycare one year when he was on his two week break in January so he was a SAHD for two weeks for two little boys. I am home by 3pm every day. He was more than ready to go back to work. LOL!!!!
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