How much does my 24 month old understand- Update and new question

[Bentley'sMomma]

We don't spank or do time out. We usually try to quickly explain and then redirect. We're having a few issues lately and I'm not sure how to respond because I'm not sure if he understands.

Example: Today he took baby Jesus out of the manger and was playing with him. That was fine. But then he threw him across the room. The first time I ignored. But then he did it again. I told him we can't throw baby Jesus and if he did it again I would have to take him away. He immediately threw him again so I took baby Jesus away and put him on the counter and said 'momma asked you not to throw baby Jesus. if you want to throw we should play with this ball.'. He fussed for a bit and I decided we could try again. I said 'do you want to play with baby Jesus again?'. He said yes. I asked 'are you going to throw him?'. He said yes! I explained several times that he can't throw him and different reasons why but he kept saying that he would throw him if I gave him back. I thought he must not understand and was saying 'yes' like he was going to be good. But sure enough as soon as I gave him back he threw baby Jesus. Humph! So does he not understand what I'm asking?

[my2sweets]

Seems like he understands to me You asked if he was going to throw it, he said yes, you gave it to him, and he threw it.

If the rule is only to throw balls then take whatever else is being thrown away for the rest of the day. Also dont talk so much. Im constently telling dh to keep it short and to the point lol Ds throws object, you say 'jesus isnt for throwing. Throw this ball.' And hand him a ball-if thats allowed inside. Other wise just say 'jesus isnt for throwing' and put it away until after he goes to bed. Thats it. Period. The end No long drawn out, multiple explanations(toddlers stop listening after 5-7words so save your energy), no 2nd, 3rd chances (unless you want to teach him mama doesnt really mean what she says-which giving him 5chances will do). Toddlers are way smarter then most give them credit for. Make a rule, a consquence and follow through the very *first* time he disobeys. Some behaviors can be ignored. Definitly pick your battles! But if you ignore, then threaten, dont follow through right away but only later, then allow him to do the same exact thing minutes later will not teach him that rules are to be followed each and every time.

[Mags462]

Originally Posted by my2sweets Seems like he understands to me You asked if he was going to throw it, he said yes, you gave it to him, and he threw it. If the rule is only to throw balls then take whatever else is being thrown away for the rest of the day. Also dont talk so much. Im constently telling dh to keep it short and to the point lol Ds throws object, you say 'jesus isnt for throwing. Throw this ball.' And hand him a ball-if thats allowed inside. Other wise just say 'jesus isnt for throwing' and put it away until after he goes to bed. Thats it. Period. The end No long drawn out, multiple explanations(toddlers stop listening after 5-7words so save your energy), no 2nd, 3rd chances (unless you want to teach him mama doesnt really mean what she says). Toddlers are way smarter then most give them credit for.

Took the words right out of my mouth....

[EmilytheStrange]

agreed.

I can tell you without a doubt that my 26month old fully understands.
she just doesn't always care

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange agreed. I can tell you without a doubt that my 26month old fully understands. she just doesn't always care

This. We use a PNP for time out for our 21 month old for when she is purposefully disobeying/being defiant. She understands JUST FINE most of the time.

[Pixi6s]

We had a montra, we only throw balls and frizbees! He understands, he is just telling you that that is what he wants to do.

I think what you did was great, just don't give it back. Next time he picks up baby jesus, remind him that he can't throw him. If he does he is no longer allowed to play with him.

[MDever]

The first time you ignored thst told him it was "ok" to do that. Three things I have found helpful with toddlers is to 1st remember that they have a delay. An actual neurological delay. Count 5 full seconds. Once they decide to do something it takes 5 seconds to react in a different way so even if you say "please stop" it is often too late. They literally cannot stop themselves. #2 Tell them what you want them to do instead of what you don't want. Exp. "I would like you to please hold baby Jesus nicely" instead of "don't throw baby Jesus" because all they hear is "throw baby Jesus"Last keep it brief and use when then statements. Exp. "When you clean up the puzzle then we will play puzzles". When-then works like a charm on pretty much every toddler I have run across.

[KelseyH]

He definitely understands. My 18 month old understands similar things and will look me dead in the eye and do them anyway, knowing full well there will be repercussions.

Originally Posted by MDever The first time you ignored thst told him it was "ok" to do that. Three things I have found helpful with toddlers is to 1st remember that they have a delay. An actual neurological delay. Count 5 full seconds. Once they decide to do something it takes 5 seconds to react in a different way so even if you say "please stop" it is often too late. They literally cannot stop themselves.

I don't know if this is true. We were at Lowe's this evening and my 18 month old DS was starting to play with the rolls of carpet. As soon as I said, "Don't play there, that's not safe!" he backed away and came towards me. It was instant. He had chosen to play with the carpet, but when he heard my feedback, also chose right away to NOT do what he wasn't allowed to.

[EmilytheStrange]

Originally Posted by KelseyH I don't know if this is true. We were at Lowe's this evening and my 18 month old DS was starting to play with the rolls of carpet. As soon as I said, "Don't play there, that's not safe!" he backed away and came towards me. It was instant. He had chosen to play with the carpet, but when he heard my feedback, also chose right away to NOT do what he wasn't allowed to.

the French parenting book I read 'Bringing up Bebe' addresses the way a parent says things and the seriousness and how children automatically know when you're very serious. That explains this.

My daughter reacts very different to my very serious voice than to my normal 'we don't do that' voice. I try to do the same every time, but the reality is that my voice changes when I really really mean it.

I can usually only bring up that voice when it's a dangerous situation. But they recommend practicing it until it's second nature for you.

[songbird516]

Originally Posted by MDever The first time you ignored thst told him it was "ok" to do that. Three things I have found helpful with toddlers is to 1st remember that they have a delay. An actual neurological delay. Count 5 full seconds. Once they decide to do something it takes 5 seconds to react in a different way so even if you say "please stop" it is often too late. They literally cannot stop themselves. #2 Tell them what you want them to do instead of what you don't want. Exp. "I would like you to please hold baby Jesus nicely" instead of "don't throw baby Jesus" because all they hear is "throw baby Jesus"Last keep it brief and use when then statements. Exp. "When you clean up the puzzle then we will play puzzles". When-then works like a charm on pretty much every toddler I have run across.

These are good tips! I agree that he probably understands everything you're saying. Before 24 months I was having full conversations with my daughter. But I never thought of the delay thing and it totally makes sense.