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Old 12-28-2012, 02:11 PM   #1
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never learning to nurse discreetly?

I have a friend who's baby is 8 months old, and she still has never been able to learn to nurse discreetly. She has nursing tank tops and is a tshirt kind of person, so she's already got all the tools you need to nurse discreetly, but just doesn't? She still does the newborn hold where she whips out the entire breast and doing the Crossover Hold/Cross Cradle which I typically find to be more revealing when you could just cradle them and hide the side boob and let your shirt fall to hid the top boob and very little skin shows. She won't nurse in public, her husband doesn't like when she nurses in front of others, and my husband always has to go to the other room when she's over, so she's not just choosing to whip it out because she thinks there is nothing sexual about boobs ... should I offer some tips or help on how to nurse discreetly, or just keep my mouth shut? I don't want to make her feel even MORE insecure about how much she's showing because she's not overly committed to breastfeeding and I feel like it'd just be one more reason for her to wean early (baby has no teeth yet, but she keeps saying as soon as he has teeth, she's weaning). But then again, she sees me nursing showing nothing all the time, and has never attempted to mimic?? I nurse discreetly without a cover with my BIL and other men in the room all the time. I make sure to warn anyone who might get a peep to look away during the latch on(actually, most of the time they hear me say I'm going to feed the baby, and just know), and then once latched and adjusted, literally not even a peep of skin is showing.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:17 PM   #2
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

I probably wouldn't say anything about nursing discreetly. I might offer to help her learn a different hold though. One that is easier on her arms.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:27 PM   #3
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Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:37 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmelody
Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
This is pretty much how I was thinking.
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Old 12-28-2012, 03:23 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by ktmelody
Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
This.
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Old 12-28-2012, 04:40 PM   #6
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmelody View Post
Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
1) he is a modest, faithful man that never looks at other women and personally doesn't care to see another woman other than his wife's breasts - yes they are feeding tools for babies, but we both know and understand them to be sexual body parts as well
2) because my friend is not comfortable nursing in public or in front of others, especially males, because of how much she shows (I THOUGHT I made that part clear in my OP....)
3) for the reasons above, my husband is not childish, he's modest and respectful, thank you VERY much!

I can understand the issues of having really large breasts that can make it impossible or near impossible to nurse discreetly.. I just don't quite understand why she doesn't choose to nurse more discreetly when she's obviously not comfortable with others seeing her breasts when she's nursing.
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Old 12-28-2012, 04:59 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by crunch!910

I can understand the issues of having really large breasts that can make it impossible or near impossible to nurse discreetly.. I just don't quite understand why she doesn't choose to nurse more discreetly when she's obviously not comfortable with others seeing her breasts when she's nursing.
If you understand how hard it is to nurse with large breasts then you realize that she isn't choosing to bear all she's doing what she can to keep nursing her baby. Honestly you sound very judgmental, this quote along with the whole she wants to wean ASAP (which was not called for or needed in the post) Just really rubs me the wrong way.
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:08 PM   #8
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

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Originally Posted by kaia.aline View Post
If you understand how hard it is to nurse with large breasts then you realize that she isn't choosing to bear all she's doing what she can to keep nursing her baby. Honestly you sound very judgmental, this quote along with the whole she wants to wean ASAP (which was not called for or needed in the post) Just really rubs me the wrong way.
Why would you assume that he has very large breasts? As far as breast size, we are very similar in size.

I was saying I wanted to be sensitive and that I didn't want to make a comment that would make her even more self conscious, especially if it'd just increase the chances of her weaning early. How in the world is wanting to be sensitive and helpful "judgmental?"
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:16 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crunch!910
Why would you assume that he has very large breasts? As far as breast size, we are very similar in size.

I was saying I wanted to be sensitive and that I didn't want to make a comment that would make her even more self conscious, especially if it'd just increase the chances of her weaning early. How in the world is wanting to be sensitive and helpful "judgmental?"
Bc of the post I quoted where you were talking about understanding the difficulties of large breasts, it made it seem as though your friend had large breasts
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Old 12-28-2012, 05:47 PM   #10
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Re: never learning to nurse discreetly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ktmelody View Post
Who cares? Is there a rule that someone has to nurse a certain way? No, and why does your husband have to leave the room? Surely he is a grown man who can handle seeing a boob. I don't know just seems childish to me, there should be no shame in nursing however a mother chooses.

I would keep my mouth shut.
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