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Old 01-04-2013, 12:14 PM   #1
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Stepping on toes...

Apparently I've become very adept at pissing everyone off! Do you think it's unreasonable to ask everyone to just wait a few days to flood my house as soon as the baby comes? I INVITED everyone to come to the hospital if they want to meet him right away. (He isn't here yet, I just posted a facebook update. A funny, lighthearted, one.) It said something to the effect of,

"Just so everyone knows... I totally love hospital visitors, but I don't totally love crash-the-house-as-soon-as-we-get-home visitors....and I don't love sick or sniffly visitors at all. So if you're healthy and you want to visit us at the hospital when Jase comes, feel free! If you're healthy and you want to come once we get home...be prepared to see dirty laundry, Tide, lots of the washer and dryer, and be made to cook...no baby involved...take your pick. "

I find NOTHING wrong with taking a few days to allow my family to adjust to a major change before we open up the house for floods of people that only come around when something exciting happens. Am I out of line and my hormones are just blocking my rational thoughts from seeing it? Ugh!!
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:32 PM   #2
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Re: Stepping on toes...

No. I think you are totally justified. your Facebook post was blunt but not rude. I bet the people who are upset have probably done some of the things you've mentioned and are feeling butt hurt.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:36 PM   #3
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Re: Stepping on toes...

Not at all out of line! Whenever a friend of mine has a baby, I never invite myself anywhere (i.e., to the hospital or to her home). I simply let the family know that Id love to meet their newest arrival, and will do so whenever, and whereever is most convenient for them :-). I think you are totally valid in your feelings :-)

I personally think its a bit rude of guests to NOT consider that their visiting could be a disruption to the new mother/baby/family! you are completely justified!
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:43 PM   #4
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Re: Stepping on toes...

I have some very...err...Okay, yeah, there's no nice way to say it...nosy, bossy, interfering, manipulative, pushy relatives who love to overstep boundaries and take nothing into consideration other than themselves. The bluntness was necessary, but I tried to balance it with humor so it would be lighter and well received. lol Honestly, I don't really care how it's received as long as it is, in fact, received. I just irritates me that I'm hearing all about it when my family and I make a point to consider other people's privacy and wishes in such situations. I would never assume it's okay to just show up during such an important time, plus you feel like CRAP right after you have a baby! lol
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:45 PM   #5
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Re: Stepping on toes...

I totally get what your saying but I did not read your post as lighthearted and fun. Personally *no flames please* it sounded a little snobby and rude to me.
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Old 01-04-2013, 01:51 PM   #6
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Re: Stepping on toes...

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Originally Posted by Ellasundies View Post
I totally get what your saying but I did not read your post as lighthearted and fun. Personally *no flames please* it sounded a little snobby and rude to me.
You're the one whose car is sitting in the driveway when we pull in from the hospital, aren't you? LOL
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Old 01-04-2013, 02:51 PM   #7
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Re: Stepping on toes...

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You're the one whose car is sitting in the driveway when we pull in from the hospital, aren't you? LOL
That was my thought exactly - DH's family gets it, mine doesn't, and neither do most of my friends. I am not above self-preservation, especially in the early weeks of new-babyhood, with raging hormones, lack of sleep, cranky older siblings adjusting to a newbie, piles of laundry and dishes taller than I am, and the "regular" stuff that life throws at you... Keep the he11 away unless you are coming to drop off dinner. There is an empty box outside the door, you can leave the casserole there. And don't ring the bell. Thanks.

Sad, because some people who "get it" would be welcome company, but the few who overstep their boundaries ruin it for the rest.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:45 PM   #8
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Re: Stepping on toes...

And you would think it's common sense/courtesy to stay away from a new baby when you're sick...yeah, it isn't.
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Old 01-04-2013, 04:46 PM   #9
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Re: Stepping on toes...

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Originally Posted by Momma2theJs View Post
And you would think it's common sense/courtesy to stay away from a new baby when you're sick...yeah, it isn't.
Exactly...my MIL brought my BIL, which was 8 when my DD1 was born, to the hospital to see us with STREP THROAT! I was POed!!


OP ~ I personally thought it just fine! I hate it when people run over me. Your post was blunt not rude. My MIL is one that I have to spell everything out to her...that is what I would have to say to someone like her. So I totally get what you are saying!
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:49 PM   #10
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Re: Stepping on toes...

Sounds fine to me! Why do people think that a mom who just had a baby wants a ton of people in their home? I don't want any visitors aside from my MIL and mom for a few weeks! I remember feeling so overwhelmed with my first and in my head was shouting "get the hell out so I can sleep!". Mom and baby needs to rest, get nursing established, bond, all of that. They don't need to play hostess or have other people trying to come in and be in their intimate space. After ds2 was born only my mom, dad and DH's parents saw baby within those first days. After that I didn't want anyone over for 2 weeks (was having a hard time nursing right away). This time will be the same, but may be more than 2 weeks. Baby is due in just a few weeks and I don't want people with colds, flu, etc over, and I know some people may not be forward about that so they can see baby. And we just got over a bad cold, no thank you, don't want it again with a new baby.
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