Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-28-2013, 12:10 PM   #1
chandni3
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,338
Am I terrible because...

I don't really want a natural birth? I want to want one, but I'd much prefer to go in, get an epi and just sit and relax until it's time to push. I know there can be side effects, I know the reasons natural is better, but I just don't want to go through all that pain. I had a great experience with my epi for my daughter and it makes me want to just do it the easy way again. How do I make myself want a natural birth?
__________________
Mommy to sweet daughter K Nov 2011 & N May 2013. Wife to wonderful husband D since Sept 2008. Always remembering baby J 10wks Missing baby Q 13wks

https://www.etsy.com/shop/PumpkinsandMe
Montessori and Waldorf Inspired Toys
chandni3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:18 PM   #2
MadeofStarStuff's Avatar
MadeofStarStuff
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,234
I don't think you are terrible at all! I had an epidural with both of my boys and loved my labors. I would never do it any other way, if I had a choice. I say, go with what you are most comfortable with. Birth is the most personal experience there is and there is no wrong way to bring life into the world.
__________________
Happily married, Mom of C (15), M (3), and E (1). Expecting a very big surprise baby on 3/25/14.
WAHM of hand-embroidered creations in my Etsy shop here.
MadeofStarStuff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:19 PM   #3
Kiliki's Avatar
Kiliki
Registered Users
Formerly: kr***y
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 9,397
Re: Am I terrible because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by chandni3 View Post
I don't really want a natural birth? I want to want one, but I'd much prefer to go in, get an epi and just sit and relax until it's time to push. I know there can be side effects, I know the reasons natural is better, but I just don't want to go through all that pain. I had a great experience with my epi for my daughter and it makes me want to just do it the easy way again. How do I make myself want a natural birth?
I love natural birth, personally, for myself.

But I don't see why you should try to *make* yourself want one.

If you've read all about the pros/cons and risks of epis, and you are comfortable having one, laboring in bed on your back, then do it your way.

That's what informed consent is all about! Knowing the pros/cons and risks associated and making whatever choice fits YOU best.

Know what else? I've had 3 natural pain-med-free births. I am planning my 4th in the next 6 weeks. Sometimes I think to myself, "I wonder what it would be like to just go get an Epi, get hooked up, watch TV for a few hours, maybe take a nap, and then push a baby out of my vag.... be catered to for a few days, brought my meals, get to watch cable, have visitors and flowers delivered to my room....hmmmmmm"

While I believe in natural birth being the best choice, it certainly isn't without its own set of "cons"! Do what works for you, mama. Don't base your decision on what others will think.
Kiliki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:20 PM   #4
peep_erz's Avatar
peep_erz
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: California
Posts: 552
Re: Am I terrible because...

If you don't want it you don't want it.

While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways. I know my body has a high tolerance for drugs so I would hate to get the epidural and expect pain relief but get pain anyways. In that situation I would not only be in pain but I would be pissed off! Lol.

My mom went natural with all of her kids. She said it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. I trust her so my birth wish is to try natural.
peep_erz is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 02:33 PM   #5
craigwick's Avatar
craigwick
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: saskatchewan, canada
Posts: 886
Re: Am I terrible because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by peep_erz View Post
While getting an epidural sounds appealing to me I am more freaked out about it wearing off too early or my body not responding the correct way and me feeling the pain anyways.
I had an epi with my first and felt nothing (they had to use forceps as I couldn't feel to push!) and I did have the epi with DD2, but she had other ideas and was born before it kicked in! Was I ever mad! I'm over it now, as recovery was way quicker that time. Do whatever works for you OP!
__________________
H...mom to three silly girls, 7, 5 and brand new!!!
Plus two dogs, and oh yeah, DH!
craigwick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:23 PM   #6
klevmomma's Avatar
klevmomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,497
Re: Am I terrible because...

I'm in kind of the opposite position. I wish I could talk myself into the epi! It would be so nice in so many ways (I've had 1 epi birth and 4 med-free). But I just have this thing with needles, so I just can't will myself to get one without some stronger reason for needing one.

There is nothing wrong with getting an epi if it is what you want. You absolutely should go with what you are comfortable with.

One option you could consider would be reading up on non-medication coping techniques . When you go into labor, you can use those until you feel ready for the epi. Just an idea :-)
__________________
~Amy, Loving wife to E and Happy mama to
K 4/04, L 11/05, E 8/07, V 1/10, J 10/11, and E 5/13
klevmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:25 PM   #7
mommajewels's Avatar
mommajewels
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,371
Re: Am I terrible because...

Not terrible at all. I don't go in with the mindset, "I'm going to get an epidural." and I don't go in with the mindset, "I'm not going to use pain medication." I go in thinking I will roll with the punches and do what feels right. So far, out of my 5 deliveries... I opted for the epidural with 4 of my kiddos. Got the epi, took a nap, woke up and delivered my healthy baby. Every experience was wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm about 6 weeks from having #6, and if I don't need an epi.. great! If I do decide to get one... I have faith all will be well.
__________________
I'm Julie. I'm a lucky wife to Micheal and a SUPER blessed mama of 5! Jordyn (12.21.04) Preston (4.10.06) Kyson (6.24.07) Gavin (12.18.08) and Londyn. (4.19.10)
Expecting Emersyn Jewel in March 2013!
mommajewels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:30 PM   #8
RunawayBunny's Avatar
RunawayBunny
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 3,161
I don't think that makes you terrible at all. I think if you make an informed decision than you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it. If what you are really looking for is someone to talk you into a natural birth I am sure there are plenty of links and videos and statistics that mamas can direct you to.

I have had a few doulas say that 7cm is a pretty magic number and if you can hold off until then the risks are reduced (no clue if there is any data to back that up), but maybe thats something to look into to help ease your mind?

I will say that you should never count on the labor/birth going a certain way (as I am sure you know). I was all for the epidural with DS. Instead I had problems starting about a half an hour after I got it. It started out spotty and then made my blood pressure crash. Around 7cm they had to turn it off. I was not at all prepared to mentally handle the pain. So my focus with this pregnancy was to prepare for a med free birth just in case.
__________________
Meg, Momma to Joey (Feb 2010)
RunawayBunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 12:30 PM   #9
Pixi6s's Avatar
Pixi6s
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: NH
Posts: 7,633
My Mood:
Re: Am I terrible because...

I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society

I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!)

I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0757302661

This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.
__________________
Mom to LO#1 born 1/7/2010; Cloth diapered since day 1; Part-time EC since 9 months; Daytime PL since 29 months & LO#2 born 12/1/2013; first diaper was a tiny Swaddlebees Newborn Fitted! Checkout my absorbency tests. Thoughts on Yeast , here, here, here and a newer one here. My thoughts on how to Wash Wool

Last edited by Pixi6s; 01-28-2013 at 12:32 PM.
Pixi6s is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2013, 03:24 PM   #10
qsefthuko's Avatar
qsefthuko
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 16,312
Re: Am I terrible because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixi6s View Post
I think you first have to realize that it doesn't have to hurt. Our bodies are not broken, we are not put on this earth to suffer through childbirth. If you work with your body it really doesn't have to hurt. The US is one of the few (only?) country that believes it hurts this bad. It's all media and old propaganda from when we went from a normal birth at home with midwife society to a hospital society

I've only had one child and there were a few uncomfortable things. It was really hard work. But nothing natural really hurt. (a few things the midwives had to do did!)

I'd recommend taking a HypnoBirthing class (stupid name) it's about letting go, going to your happy place and letting your baby come. At least read the book.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/re.../dp/0757302661

This of course isn't for everyone. If you can't let go of the idea that it's going to hurt like hell, than it is going to and you should do what is best for you.
I hate say this but my labors were excruciatingly painful. For some women it simply is. For others(my mama) it isn't that bad. I totally get wanting pain killer as my labor was the worst pain I have ever had barring the c section recovery. It isn't bad to not want to hurt. Being scared or apprehensive can also accentuate the pain(perhaps this was my problem).
__________________
qsefthuko is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.