Hypothetically if your daycare provider.....

[escapethevillage]

Let's just say you take your two and a half year old child to a daycare home.

Your child is sweet, wonderful and just all around awesome. Everybody thinks so.

But, your provider is slowly raising concerns to you about his or her development. She mentions how he only plays with children exactly one year younger. He has absolutely zero language skills, and can't do a few of the physical milestones other kids his age can do. He can run a little, and he can climb the jungle gym, but that's all.

You say something to your pediatrician, and he says "Daycare providers don't understand child development". (which makes your provider angry)

So... pretend you have another appointment tomorrow with your child, and your provider asks you again to have him evaluated for at LEAST hearing. Would you be offended? Is the provider overstepping?

Also, This provider happens to have gotten a hold of the test given to kids of his age. (27 months old...and also the 30 month old test) But, out of over 100 questions on the 27 month test, he can only do MAYBE four of them, and only with a little bit of help. (hand gestures) "Put the toy on the table" would need a hand gesture, but on the test is says NOT to use hand gestures. So, even those he would not be able to pass.

He fits in this group perfectly. I'm not complaining about behavior, he's really wonderful here. I don't want to offend the mom. (there is no dad... but, there is a huge extended family, he's very adored at home...they are all very attentive)

Would you be offended, upset, pull your child, If your provider sent you home with a copy of this test? Would you ask your doctor again for an evaluation?

[SaraElise]

If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.

From an outsiders point of view I can see how you are just trying to help the parent, but as the parent I would probably get defensive. I don't know that I would pull, but I would ask not to test my child.

At this point the mom has to decide she wants to push for more, if she asks you questions I would answer them truthfully and express your concern, but I don't think you can push her to do more unless she decides to on her own since you have already expressed concern.

Maybe wait a couple of months to see if he has any changes and then bring it up again at that point that you are noticing he is not progressing with his language skills as you would expect to see.

[SaraElise]

If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.

From an outsiders point of view I can see how you are just trying to help the parent, but as the parent I would probably get defensive. I don't know that I would pull, but I would ask not to test my child.

At this point the mom has to decide she wants to push for more, if she asks you questions I would answer them truthfully and express your concern, but I don't think you can push her to do more unless she decides to on her own since you have already expressed concern.

Maybe wait a couple of months to see if he has any changes and then bring it up again at that point that you are noticing he is not progressing with his language skills as you would expect to see.

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by SaraElise If I talked to my Dr, and then found out my provider was giving my child a test, yes, I would be upset.

No. I read through the test. I am not licensed to administer the test. I would send it home with the mom to look at.

[kaia.aline]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage No. I read through the test. I am not licensed to administer the test. I would send it home with the mom to look at.

I thought you said you gave the child the test but had to alter it for the child?

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by kaia.aline I thought you said you gave the child the test but had to alter it for the child?

No. The test is in a folder. I would let the mom take it home and look at it. She could check off the boxes if she wanted, or just take it with her to the doctor. I meant that if I DID ask him to do these things "put the toy on the table" that I would have to use hand gestures. Which the test specifically says not to do.

[kaia.aline]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage No. The test is in a folder. I would let the mom take it home and look at it. She could check off the boxes if she wanted, or just take it with her to the doctor. I meant that if I DID ask him to do these things "put the toy on the table" that I would have to use hand gestures. Which the test specifically says not to do.

Ok i misread what you wrote.

[kaia.aline]

Yes I would be offended, possibly enough to switch providers even. I think I would be even more upset that you tried to give my child a test you are not licensed to give or educated about.

[thealmightyme]

As a parent I would most definitely be offended. Yes even enough to change providers. My first question to the provider would be you spend the most time with him, why aren't you working on these things with him? That is the providers job, watch and teach the child. When I had my oldest child in an in home daycare they taught him words, shapes colors and even to recognize letters starting at 2. They would sing songs, have circle time ect. I would remove my children from a place that didn't give them some kind of education.

[escapethevillage]

Originally Posted by thealmightyme As a parent I would most definitely be offended. Yes even enough to change providers. My first question to the provider would be you spend the most time with him, why aren't you working on these things with him? That is the providers job, watch and teach the child. When I had my oldest child in an in home daycare they taught him words, shapes colors and even to recognize letters starting at 2. They would sing songs, have circle time ect. I would remove my children from a place that didn't give them some kind of education.

Which is kind of dumb, because obviously we do that....or I wouldn't notice that he's behind. If he were able to do the things the other kids can do, I wouldn't worry. If I weren't working with the kids, I wouldn't notice.

And, it's the PARENT'S job to make sure their child is being educated. It is the parent's job to make sure their child is at an age appropriate level. Just because a parent drops the child off, they do not hand off the responsibility to the daycare provider. The parents still do projects at home, they still work on letters, and learning at home. It's not "lets go home so mommy can catch up on Downton Abby". The parent still has several hours at home with their kids, plus weekends.

In THIS mom's case, she has nothing to base it on. He's an only child, there are no cousins, no friends of the same age, and he's not in any evening classes like Gymboree. So, she has nobody to compare it to, and no background in child development.