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Old 02-21-2013, 08:08 AM   #1
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Twin or Triplet mamas- not finding out gender?

With my first, a singleton, I had not problem fending of the nosy people in my life when they asked about the baby's gender. I had a very strong resolve to not find out before birth. In my heart I knew it was a boy but all the clothes and furniture was gender nuetral because that is what I wanted. I even asked the delivery team to not announce the sex at birth but instead hold the baby up so DH and I could see for ourselves. It was beautiful and magical for me to see those little boy part on my freshly birthed baby.

This time around, we are having identical twins. Starting from the time I told my family that it was twins, it is a constant bombardment of questions about gender, how soon we can find out, demanding that we must find out this time. DH is not completely decided about needing to know the gender but he is leaning towards wanting to know purely so that we don't have to discuss and decide on names for the other gender. Personally, I still don't want to know. I see a MFM high risk specialist next week for a high level ultrasound and most likely, if I really wanted to know, they could tell me with pretty good certainty what the genders are then. I also have the anatomy scan at 20 weeks, which is a little over a month after that. And most likely, I will have atleast a dozen more scans before the end of my pregnancy because of the babies being mono/di twins.

So did any multiple mamas never find out the gender before bbirth? I am considering having the tech write it and seal it in an envelope. Then I am not sure who or when to give it to to open. I really dont want to know so early, although I thinnk I may feel better about knowing after like 32 weeks or so. Was considering letting my mom and sister open the envelope as they plan the baby shower, then they can do something cute with it. Any thoughts or opinions?
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:25 AM   #2
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Re: Twin or Triplet mamas- not finding out gender?

Congratulations! Twins are super fun!

Like you I did not find out the gender of my first and it was a boy, but finding out I was having identical twins was surprise enough for me and I knew right away that I wanted to know the gender! I'm a planner and I wanted to know if I could get away with getting a bit of extra boy stuff or if I should trade my blues for pinks (well, not too much pink). And it was much easier to come up with names too. We found out it they were girls at our 20wk scan.

Also, people LOVE to buy outfits for twins and these being the only girls in our immediate family we got tons of clothes and I hardly had to buy a thing for the first 2 years! People I never would have thought of were bringing my gifts, not sure but I think they felt sorry for me.

Hopefully your family will understand if you decide not to find out, I can imagine that would get super annoying!
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:50 AM   #3
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Re: Twin or Triplet mamas- not finding out gender?

I did not find out with my twins, identical girls. It was fun, I kinda liked taunting people with the fact that we did not know. We just had two boy names, two girl names and one of each that all sounded nice together. I bought only gender neutral stuff too. Once they were born people went crazy buying them matching outfits (we never dress exactly the same but different colors, same dress is fine or same color with different dress pattern is fine too). So we still got all the fun gifts but just later in the game.

If you want to wait again then I say more power to you! Because we were team green with the girls and it was 100% my choice this time I let my hubby choose. He wanted to know so I let him find out at our 20 week scan. It's another girl
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Old 02-21-2013, 04:55 PM   #4
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I didn't want to find out, but dh did. Our family gave us all kinds of grief about it, and I thought twins was a big enough surprise when we found out at our 21 w u/s. So, we delayed finding out, knowing that we had more u/s in the future, and found out at 28 weeks we are having girls. I would have loved to stay team green though! If both of you are up for it, I'd say do it! Although the envelope idea is good too
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