Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-17-2007, 12:52 PM   #1
Christina's Avatar
Christina
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Loganville, GA
Posts: 4,532
My Mood:
Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

I don't post here often but I really need to get this out because as far as I know my sister doesn't know about this forum and doesn't read here.

I am pregnant with our 4th baby, this one was completely planned and wanted but my family is acting like I've ruined not only my life but theirs as well.

My mom is not speaking to me and as far as I know my sister isn't speaking to me either. My sister called my dad today to rant and rave about me having another baby and what a stupid decision it was and how horrible it is for me to have 4 children.
Background: My sister and her husband had to loan me and my husband some money last year to get through a rough time. Things are so much better now and we are paying them back monthly for their generosity but for some reason she seems to think that by me borrowing that money that I also signed my life away and she loves to hold that over my head. She seems to think that for some reason this means they "support" us financially which is not true.
I just don't even know where to begin with how I feel, DH and I have always wanted 4 children and this baby is so wanted and loved and I'm just so upset that my own family can be so mean
__________________
Christina ~ Lovin' life with my wonderful DH and my 5 little munchkins. Maddie - 13, Sara - 10, Jack - 9, Lizzie - 4 and Anna 8/8/12
Christina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 12:55 PM   #2
moonphishers's Avatar
moonphishers
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,910
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??




At least shes not calling you to rant and rave. You'r dad shouldnt have told you about that (assuming he did ) As hard as it is, it's better if they're not there to poison your happy time! Rejoice with your children and hubby and anyone else who will celebrate with you, mama. Leave the rest behind

Congrats
__________________
Find your local LLL or IBCLC
"In the end, only kindess matters" Jewel
moonphishers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 12:59 PM   #3
mengmommy's Avatar
mengmommy
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Right-winger in Liberalville.
Posts: 1,663
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

I'm sorry. We've borrowed money from my parents in the past, and I know what you feel like! But I wouldn't let that hamper my baby feelings! I never feel like its ok for us to get pg (we also have 3 babies in Heaven)...like everyone assumed I was too young (20 with ds, 23 with dd...not so much anymore since I'm almost 25)...but being poor makes it hard to not assume that people think its a terrible atrocity that we want more babies. My mom wants us to have another though...but I don't know what she'd say about #4 if we are so blessed! I can just hear my dad now though...even with #3.
__________________
Jennifer Trupe, Trupie (6), Ele (3), and Israel 12/3/08. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, no vaxing, cloth-diapering/ec'ing, unassisted birthing, crunchy conservative Christian family.
mengmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 01:07 PM   #4
MamaToBe84's Avatar
MamaToBe84
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago-ish
Posts: 4,680
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

oh boy do i understand how you feel! DHs family was sooooo upset when we got pregnant. (angel baby in december) I heard it all: "i hope you know babies are hard"-- from the SIL who had 2 abortions at 15... and "I cant believe you would let yourselves get into this position"... um hi, i was 22, dh was 23, been married 2 years, its not like we were teenagers or something! It was horrible.

Just remember, its your baby not theirs, so they;ll shut up eventually.


(and wait til you hear: "dont think im going to be watching that kid" well who said i wanted you even AROUND that kid?! lol)
__________________
Artie -- wife to Bryan natural birthing, cosleeping, CDing, non-vaxxing, non-circ'ing mommy to Riley Thomas 3/22/08 and Abbey Raine10/6/11
MamaToBe84 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 01:10 PM   #5
moonphishers's Avatar
moonphishers
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 3,910
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

Just wanted to add that age may or may not have anything to do with it. I was 33 the last time I was pg with DS2 and all I heard was the same as the above and worse

Next time (and there will be a next time, which always gets groans from idiots) I am going the a get a shirt that reads "if you have nothing positive to say about this pregnancy then, shut yer pie hole!
__________________
Find your local LLL or IBCLC
"In the end, only kindess matters" Jewel
moonphishers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 01:14 PM   #6
OrangeBananas
Registered Users
Formerly: Savannah+6
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Arizona
Posts: 14,824
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

You poor thing! I know how you feel. Every time I have announced being pregnant I get the "I am worried about you" speech. My MIL complained about me not getting my tubes tied right after the birth of my 3rd son 4.5 months ago. Its just never ending. I swear every time we visit family the first thing they say is "your not having any more kids are you?".
__________________

OrangeBananas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 01:14 PM   #7
TwinKristi's Avatar
TwinKristi
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Petaluma, CA
Posts: 14,304
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

There are always people who are trying to steal your happiness, you just need to ignore it!! I know it's easier said (or typed ) than done, but you have to in order to keep your happiness alive!! Who cares what they think, it's YOUR family and YOUR baby!! You are doing the right thing in paying back the money they loaned you, but jeeze, it's not like you have to have your ovaries submitted as collateral when you get a loan from anyone else?? Why would they get to chose what you can and cannot do now?? It's not like you're living on the streets and can't afford to even pay them back. They just need to HUSH UP!! I'm sure there are a few family members who wouldn't be so happy if we have #6, but I don't care!! We will love that baby just like our other 5 and if they have something to say about it than they can say it to someone else and live with the consequences.
__________________
Kristi, Mommy to Josh & Nick (identical twins 6-97) Nathen (3-02), Joey (2-04), Jacob (11-05) & Aaron (12-11) I sell Tupperware!
"A person's a person, no matter how small..." Dr Seuss
TwinKristi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 01:16 PM   #8
Vonnie's Avatar
Vonnie
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 23
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

When I told my Nana I was pregnant with DS2 her response was, "Oh great, another little b@st@rd for the state to feed" which I don't think I'll ever really recover from. I would love to be married to my partner but my ex-husband has refused thus far to sign over my divorce and it's only been within the last six months that we've been separated long enough for me to file divorce without requiring his consent. She wasn't much nicer when I told her I was pregnant with DD1, although to be honest I don't think I got a positive reaction from any family member.
Vonnie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 12:57 PM   #9
urchin_grey
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: near New Orleans, LA
Posts: 4,179
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

I'm so sorry mama, that's horrible.
With my first DS (planned), my family was happy... with my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies (not planned exactly, but not trying to prevent and which ended in m/c), my mom actually said "well that's good because you don't need to have any more with him".

I say just give them some time... They'll come to their senses eventually. Its not like you're 13 years old or something, geez, you're a grown woman!
urchin_grey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-17-2007, 02:57 PM   #10
Birdof1985
Banned
seller
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Mid-West USA
Posts: 4,202
My Mood:
Re: Anyone have family really upset about having another baby??

my family isnt "upset" perse-- they are more like

get your tubes tied already! (well i dont find it funny, but sometimes i do)

I have alot of problems with my pregnancies and i think they are just worried and dont want me to keep having problems. I have said this is the last baby and even talked to my OB about getting my tubes tied- but yet in the back of my mind as i get closer- im like " im not quite done yet". Of course, would i walk up to my family and say that? heck no. DHs family doesnt really talk to us for other reasons but his grandparents are just like "ok whatever" although this weekend Grandma in law did ask if i was getting my tubes tied.- i try to avoid her bantering.

jen


I only have 1 brother--- he has 1 daughter and 1 son.
DH is the ONLY child by his mom- so no other kids there.

so my parents have (so far) 3 granddaughters, 2 grandsons. DHs mom has 2 granddaughters and 1 step-grandson.

my moms side of the family is HUGE, my dads side is small and so is DHs.... i feel like setting a new "trend" LOL (im kidding)

Last edited by Birdof1985; 09-17-2007 at 06:29 PM.
Birdof1985 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.