Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-20-2006, 12:33 PM   #1
KnottyLDSMama's Avatar
KnottyLDSMama
Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me
Formerly: Moonprysm
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,975
My Mood:
I hate people like me...

*sighs* Just felt I need to come in here and pout a bit.

I have a problem with seeing babies being bottle fed in public. I always feel so bad for them! And I hate to think that way, because it's like I'm judging someone else's parenting methods, and I hate to do that. But I can't help it. It's involuntary.

So then with my DS, I feel like running and hiding in the bathroom when it's time for him to eat. I have a low supply, so I'm fine when he has to nurse in public. NO problems there. But when it's time to pull out his bottle, I'm so ashamed! And I know it's people like me (judging people who bottlefeed) that make me ashamed! How sad is that??

It's like I can hear people thinking "Look at that poor, misguided young mother, giving her baby formula instead of bm". And I just wanna scream "I'M TRYING!" But the truth is, people probably aren't even paying attention to me at all, let alone whether or not I've giving my son a bottle. But I almost have a panic attack every time I have to feed him in public!
__________________
Tiffani wife of Wes 11/16/02, Partner of Jamie and David
SAHM to Xander 4/5/06, Jaime 1/20/09,
and Malcolm 11/15/10
KnottyLDSMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2006, 01:06 PM   #2
urchin_grey
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: near New Orleans, LA
Posts: 4,179
My Mood:
Re: I hate people like me...

Wow, I kinda know how you feel! My son was in the NICU for a little while and I pumped liked crazy while he was there but once he got home he HATED BFing. He REFUSED to do it! I saw like 3 lactation consultants and that didn't help at all. =( I was upset about it but I just kept pumping and trying to get him to BF. He just refused to latch on though except for like two whole times and eventually I dried up b/c I couldn't keep up with the pumping. (AND I was only producing milk on one side!) Sooo, BFing for us lasted all of like 2 months. I'm a young mom too (21) so I was always afraid that people would judge me and think that I just never even tried because I was young. I wasn't ASHAMED to feed him a bottle in public, but I did always feel bad and kinda self-conscious.

Now, DS is 15 months and he still takes a bottle. (We are working on the cup now.) And ya know what? Even though giving him a bottle after 12 months isn't the "right" thing to do, I'm not in the least bit ashamed or worried what other people think about it. My DS is small for his age and is in a spica cast so I figured I would skip learning to drink from a cup for now and I don't care what anyone says! LOL

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is... you just have to worry less about what other people think of you. It doesn't matter because all those random people don't know SQUAT about you. I mean, I've even had people hollar out in the middle of Target "Oh my Gawd, that baby has two broken legs" when I took my son out in his SERIAL casts for CORRECTION of clubbed feet (NOT broken legs!) But I just had to get over it because they don't even know me.

AND, some of the time, you probably ARE right about the people that don't care at all about BFing... but some of those people could have any of a million GOOD reasons why they didn't get to BF. Plus, the people that choose not too probably aren't bad parents. Most were just misinformed or brought up to think that its unnecessary, which isn't really their fault. Well, I hope you can start feeling better about it, and I hope this helps. (Sorry for the massive post, by the way.)

Last edited by urchin_grey; 08-20-2006 at 01:10 PM.
urchin_grey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2006, 01:18 PM   #3
KnottyLDSMama's Avatar
KnottyLDSMama
Peachy with a side of keen, that would be me
Formerly: Moonprysm
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 5,975
My Mood:
Re: I hate people like me...

I know...I always feel terrible that that's my first response when I see a baby being bottle fed, because you're right. I mean, that mother might even be in the same situation I am! So how do you turn a reaction like that off?

And I've always had problems with what other people think of me, so I don't know if I'll be able to turn that part off or not.
__________________
Tiffani wife of Wes 11/16/02, Partner of Jamie and David
SAHM to Xander 4/5/06, Jaime 1/20/09,
and Malcolm 11/15/10
KnottyLDSMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2006, 07:35 PM   #4
chunkymonkey'smomma's Avatar
chunkymonkey'smomma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,465
My Mood:
Re: I hate people like me...

I have the same problem w/ supply...had it w/ #1 and now w/ #2...The difference is I am more comfortable w/ my low supply this time around..I am proud that I am able to give my son what breastmilk I produce, even if it is only 25% of his intake...that said if I am in public we do use a bottle, at home we use SNS and I always nurse him for 10min each breast before he gets his bottle...it's okay! You aren't a bad Mommy! Just be glad you can give some to your babe!
__________________
Old DS Feedback
http://www.kikifoxito.com/ds/forum/i...?topic=27007.0
chunkymonkey'smomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2006, 08:10 PM   #5
ecoria's Avatar
ecoria
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 864
My Mood:
Re: I hate people like me...

(((((hugs))))

There's a saying i've always loved...Those who judge dont matter, and those who matter dont judge. We both know you are doing the best you can, and then some. Dont worry about what anyone else thinks. Just be glad you are doing right by him and thats he's getting every ounce of bm he can get.

btw, i've got 2 more bags here for ya.
__________________
Lisa - 's wife and Super-Crunchy, WAHMommy to Jeremy - 4/13/06 - and Johnathan Joseph, aka "J.J." - 4/1/08 - 6 weeks early! ISO medium MONSTER dipes or 2T monkey ANYTHING or Mr. Magoo stuff! TRY ME!
http://www.BBCreations.biz - Accepting PP and RME!
ecoria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2006, 08:44 PM   #6
bamamom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,445
My Mood:
Re: I hate people like me...

oy...

i can relate

i used to be so FREAKInG judgemental, then i had my second baby. Who was ALLERGIC to the freaking air around us, it seemed.

And no matter what i did, or eliminated from his diet, or how many LC's i saw, he still cried, and still he didnt grow.

At 9 months, my milk was gone, and he was on certain formula. He started doing great..but suddenly I had become that person that I used to criticize. And I hated it!

I felt like a bad mom, and I wanted to say out loud " I nursed him, I promise!!"

So you're not alone.
bamamom is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.