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Old 08-21-2006, 09:41 AM   #1
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BF in public. How do I deal?

Maybe its just something about people here in the South, but I have a problem.
This past week I took my daughter to the Pedi for a check-up. She has horrible car-ride anxiety, so she was screaming like a banchee when we got there. I pulled her out of her carseat, sat down in the waiting room and started to nurse.
People started STARING. And then, a moment or so later, the receptionist comes over and tells me "let's get you put in a room for a few minutes so you can nurse your baby rather than doing it out here in front of everyone." But it was the WAY she said it..almost like I was the oddball and was making everyone uncomfortable.
So they hid us in a cold room with NO chair to sit on. I was fuming.
And to make matters worse, the nurse comes back in and says "I didnt realize you wernt giving her formula. Make sure and tell the Doctor that" and kindof LAUGHS at me.

So, I guess I need to figure out a way to nurse more discreetly. I tried throwing Emma's blanket over us, but she likes to grab onto it when shes eating and pulls it right off.

Any suggestions of what else I could do? I hate to even bother, but Im tired of people looking at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears. It makes me feel about 2 inches tall.

And how do I get comfortable with covering up? Do I cover up first and THEN put Emma to the breast or vice versa?

Man...this is the LAST thing I thought Id be worrying about.
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Old 08-21-2006, 09:44 AM   #2
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

What is up with peds offices? Are they really that clueless. I don't think it's just a southern thing. With our ODD we were in Mississippi and I never had any trouble NIP and I didn't have the nursing stash I do now.Have you tried nursing shirts? I wear them all the time with Taci and no one has ever really noticed I'm nursing. Really it just looks like I'm holding her face in. Taci is also a baby who hates having anything over her head
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:00 AM   #3
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

Sounds like the Ped's office needs alittle update on what is good for a baby.

As for how to coverup I have heard there are blankets that have a velcro strap so that baby can't pull it off. Don't know where I saw them but maybe you can check some nursing sites or google nursing blankets. Good luck mamma, I don't get people sometimes, not like you were standing there doing a stripper dance, but then if you would have been no one would have probably thought twice about it.
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:01 AM   #4
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

Man, I'm a REALLY nonconfrontational person, but THIS is the topic that I'd speak up on!!!

Move you back to a room? "No thanks, she's eating now and I don't want to interupt her by moving."

Didn't realize you weren't giving her formula? "Why on earth would I give my baby formula?"

If a nurse at my ped's office tried to make me feel bad for NIP there, I would have no problem reminding them that breastmilk is the superior food for babies and that if their office is not supportive of breastfeeding then I can easily find another doctor for my child who IS. Besides, when they spirit people off to a backroom to nurse, it just reinforces to everyone in the waiting room that breastfeeding is shameful. What if there was another new mom out there who was having trouble breastfeeding and was wondering whether to quit or not, and she sees the NURSE make a bf'ing mom leave the room? What kind of example does that set? Pooh on that nurse!

Bleh!

My son hates to have anything over his head while he's nursing too. And you know what? If people ever stared at me disapprovingly while I nursed, I'd just grin at them and say "Oh I know! It's the greatest thing, isn't it? Being able to comfort my baby anywhere and not having to worry about a bottle? Just like God intended!"

to you mama for nursing your baby! And poo on the naysayers!

And sorry for the rant.
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:15 AM   #5
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

It looks like you are in one of the few states that doesn't allow nursing in public
http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/summary.html#TN

YOu should discuss what happened in the office with your babies pediatrician. Find out if that is their policy for the waiting room. If they put you in a room without a chair to nurse you really should think about finding a ped. in your area that a)promotes breastfeeding b)allows nursing in the waiting room/and or has a nursing room(not a bathroom) with a chair. What they did to you makes it sound like they are trying to get rid of their customers.
I don't have a ring sling/baby carrier so I am unable to nurse standing up.
The rest of the world has been taught that using formula is the norm. I don't understand why.
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:25 AM   #6
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

Good for you mama! I find a ring sling or pouch works nicely. It can take a little while to develop a technique that works good for you too.
Keep up with the nursing and hold your head high for not following all the other sheep. I agree with giving a big, ole', sweet smile too. People have a hard time being rude to those who are confident and nice. Oh, and find a new office. First it is breastfeeding, next thing you know you have a totally different philosophy on everything else too.
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:41 AM   #7
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

I would LOVE to find a different Pediatrician, but our insurance only gives us 3 Pedis to choose from, and none of them are very good. Plus, we are about a 50 minute drive from anyone even REMOTELY alternative.
Id looked up Naturopaths, but they arnt allowed to practice in this state (go figure).
My husband just got a new job, and his insurance kicks in immediately. I will hopefully be able to find someone new in our network that I like better.

And I was TOTALLY unaware that breastfeeding in puplic was illegal in Tennessee. HOLY COW. That makes that Nurses behavior make more sense (not that it excuses her rudeness).

The more I learn about this state, the more I'm anxious to go someplace else.

I will have to try giving people a smile from now on when they look at me. It erks me to NO end. I even had one lady in the mall tell me that I NEED to be giving Emma formula because breastmilk isnt enough (amount wise) to feed a baby on. I set her straight, and would have probably said more had my husband not convinced me to come with him into a store instead.

SHEESH!
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Old 08-21-2006, 10:51 AM   #8
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

It seems TN does not have any laws to protect your rights bf in public but they don't have laws that make it illegal either.

I would have like to say something to that nurse but I'm not sure if I would of had the guts. I would be searching for a new ped though. I wouldn't want to continue going to a Ped. that doesn't allow/promote/support breastfeeding. Call your ped., let them know they upset you, & then ask for a referral to a ped. that is supportive of breastfeeding/natural parenting.

I live in CO now but some of my family members still make comments(they live in southern IL). I'm bf my second now. They should get over it. But, I really think it is the area. I've come to the point now that when I do go back home to visit I make a point to nurse in public as much as I can. I no longer hide in the bathrooms, in the car, or run home just so I can nurse. I don't plan my outings around nursing schedules anymore either. I used to do all of this whether I was in CO or IL with my first child.

As to how to deal with the looks...I just got used to it. The more people see mothers breastfeeding in public the more it will eventually become acceptable in ALL areas of the country.

All animals nurse their little ones, why is it unnatural for a human to do what God intended?
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Old 08-21-2006, 02:09 PM   #9
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by betty_joanne
It looks like you are in one of the few states that doesn't allow nursing in public
http://www.lalecheleague.org/Law/summary.html#TN

YOu should discuss what happened in the office with your babies pediatrician. Find out if that is their policy for the waiting room. If they put you in a room without a chair to nurse you really should think about finding a ped. in your area that a)promotes breastfeeding b)allows nursing in the waiting room/and or has a nursing room(not a bathroom) with a chair. What they did to you makes it sound like they are trying to get rid of their customers.
I don't have a ring sling/baby carrier so I am unable to nurse standing up.
The rest of the world has been taught that using formula is the norm. I don't understand why.
I read that as of 2006, it's legal to nurse in public in all states.
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Old 08-21-2006, 07:21 PM   #10
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Re: BF in public. How do I deal?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rpg_mommy
Man, I'm a REALLY nonconfrontational person, but THIS is the topic that I'd speak up on!!!

Move you back to a room? "No thanks, she's eating now and I don't want to interupt her by moving."

Didn't realize you weren't giving her formula? "Why on earth would I give my baby formula?"

If a nurse at my ped's office tried to make me feel bad for NIP there, I would have no problem reminding them that breastmilk is the superior food for babies and that if their office is not supportive of breastfeeding then I can easily find another doctor for my child who IS. Besides, when they spirit people off to a backroom to nurse, it just reinforces to everyone in the waiting room that breastfeeding is shameful. What if there was another new mom out there who was having trouble breastfeeding and was wondering whether to quit or not, and she sees the NURSE make a bf'ing mom leave the room? What kind of example does that set? Pooh on that nurse!

Bleh!

My son hates to have anything over his head while he's nursing too. And you know what? If people ever stared at me disapprovingly while I nursed, I'd just grin at them and say "Oh I know! It's the greatest thing, isn't it? Being able to comfort my baby anywhere and not having to worry about a bottle? Just like God intended!"

to you mama for nursing your baby! And poo on the naysayers!

And sorry for the rant.

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