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Old 02-24-2008, 01:35 PM   #1
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i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

first off, not posting this to upset anyone...i just don't know where else to post it since this is where all the mamas that BFed are.

ok i am sitting here on the verge of tears. i am reading a thread and i saw more then one post where they said that FFing mamas should only do it if medically needed. if not, then they shouldn't get it. to me, that means unable to produce milk. thing is, i could. i did try to BF. it didn't take long for me to see it wasn't going to work. in the end, that worked for us because my son turned out to have horrid AR. but still, my reasons for not continuing were not medical in the physical sense but emotional.

you see, i was raped. it left me seriously scarred emtionally. i have come out a survivor but it affected my ability to BF. just the thought of putting him to my breast made me sick. even pumping did that to me i tried it but it just didn't work. so we FFed and i became a happy mama and he was a happy baby. i would have attempted BFing and risked PPD but dh deployed 3 weeks after my son was born. i couldn't do it all alone. i knew i couldn't. we look back now and we are so relieved with our choice. my great gma died the day he left and i was left alone with a newborn greiving...i can't imagine having to deal with the feelings i had about my breasts on top of that. i had NO support system.

and it worked out very well for us. evan is a wonderfully happy, hardly ever sick, slender, sweet, smart, advanced in every he does (he is like at least 4 months ahead of his age group) baby. and i am happy with my choices. i am not coming here to have them justified. i just had to share my story to show its not medically nessecary but at the same time, i think it is something that is serious. its not me being lazy. and also...just in case you are wondering, since dh will be home for this one's birth and be here to watch over us, i am going to try bfing.

ok now back to my question....my story isn't medical...its emotional, but since i could produce milk, is that wrong? i mean, is it poison to my child since i could have done it? that is the feeling i get some BFing mamas (not all! a lot of you rock..some of my fav DS mamas are serious BFing advocates). i mean, should only the few mamas that seriously can't produce milk be allowed to FF? it seems that is perfectly ok then but if i was to say no my reason isn't medical...all the sudden i am lazy. that has been the feeling i have been getting and it makes me sad. i am just wondering your reasons to justify it.



ok i am sorry if none of this makes sense. i am so tired and i am just so upset from just typing out my story. but i had to ask...i hope no one is offended.
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Old 02-24-2008, 01:43 PM   #2
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Wow. I don't post here much, but I couldn't read this thread without saying something. Choosing not to breastfeed doesn't make anyone a bad mother, and it never will. It sounds like you're a fantastic mommy. I wish you all the best.
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Old 02-24-2008, 01:50 PM   #3
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

Lots of for you sweetie. I hope no one ever makes you feel "less" of the awesome mom that you are...breastfed or not! I'm mostly sorry you were left alone without a support system when you needed it so badly!
I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding. But I also think every mama/family needs to look at the situation and do what is best for all. As long as you are doing your very best mentally, physically, emotionally, and every other way that you can don't you dare let someone put you down for it!!!
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Old 02-24-2008, 01:57 PM   #4
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I don't personally believe that ff should only be for medical reasons. I'm a bf fan, too, but I still think it's a personal choice. My SIL was too weirded out to bf, so ff from the start. That's her choice and her child. And I personally believe that those that set out to make you feel bad for how you feel are in the wrong.

You are no less of a mother because of how you choose to feed your baby.
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Old 02-24-2008, 09:42 PM   #5
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

I don't even think it has to be something where "there are exceptions." That implies you need to justify your parenting choices to someone else. And you don't, honey. You made a choice for your child, and you are both happy and healthy. Nothin' wrong with that! I BF'ed, and yeah, I'm glad I did. But it's hard, and it's not the right choice for everyone. Kudos. And remember (excluding issues of legality), you're the only one who needs to be okay with your parenting choices.
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Old 02-24-2008, 09:57 PM   #6
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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Originally Posted by mom2madison06 View Post
I don't even think it has to be something where "there are exceptions." That implies you need to justify your parenting choices to someone else. And you don't, honey. You made a choice for your child, and you are both happy and healthy. Nothin' wrong with that! I BF'ed, and yeah, I'm glad I did. But it's hard, and it's not the right choice for everyone. Kudos. And remember (excluding issues of legality), you're the only one who needs to be okay with your parenting choices.
i want to nominate this post for best post of the day. this was the best supportive advice i have seen anyone give all day here.
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Old 02-24-2008, 06:29 PM   #7
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

IMO, as a CLWing mama, and DEF pro bfing, as mom, do what is best for you and your baby, your job is to FEED the baby, no matter what the source. In the end, he needs a mom that LOVES him, and he could prob sense that you were comfortable having him at the breast. mama, you need to take care of yourself and if that means, no bfing, THATS fine! i totally know what you mean by the thread putting you on the verge of tears mama
all to often mamas get rude and waaay to judgemental..

sorry if my post doesnt make much sense, still havent passed these kidney stones. ugh ugh ugh
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Old 02-27-2008, 01:17 PM   #8
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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Wow. I don't post here much, but I couldn't read this thread without saying something. Choosing not to breastfeed doesn't make anyone a bad mother, and it never will. It sounds like you're a fantastic mommy. I wish you all the best.
Totally agree! though I think many mamas are misinformed and not given the support they need. Try working on your breast issues before LO is born(seek counseling to deal with the rape), it will help the experience be better.
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Old 02-24-2008, 01:46 PM   #9
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

breastfeeding is a personal choice, and whatever your reasons are are yours, dont let anyone make you feel bad for the choices that worked for you!!!! other peoples opinions are just that, opinions.
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Old 02-24-2008, 01:53 PM   #10
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Re: i just want to ask...why only when its medical?

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breastfeeding is a personal choice, and whatever your reasons are are yours, dont let anyone make you feel bad for the choices that worked for you!!!! other peoples opinions are just that, opinions.
small thread hijack (I know ashley won't mind) but I see you are new, I've been reading your posts...and I have to say I love them! Welcome to DS and I'm so glad you are here and speaking your mind!
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