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Old 09-05-2006, 02:18 PM   #1
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Unhappy Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Does anyone else do Parents as Teachers? I just had my first visit and while I am glad I called her, so I can know where my son should be, I sorta feel like a failure up to now She said he should already be saying mamamam, dadadada, babababab... so on, and he should be sitting up and scooting more... I didn't know what kind of exercises I could do with him, this is my first baby, DSS was almost two when DH & I met... I feel like I have failed my son so far Needless to say I'm going to be online a lot less... It's bad enough I am taking two courses on here right now, but I am going to be spending even more time with Gavin, not just playing and reading, but doing the exercises she showed me and what not... I felt like crying after she left!

If anyone else does P.A.T what have they "taught" you?

When did your child first sit on his own (pull himself up & all) when did he/she first crawl and walk?

Well he's napping for now so I'm going to do a lil research on some stuff... just wanted to see what others have to say about P.A.T... but the look on her face when I said he does not wave bye bye yet nor say mama or dada, broke my heart!
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Old 09-05-2006, 02:30 PM   #2
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

How old is he? I have three *very* bright kids who met all of their milestones on time, and I never did "exercises." I played, talked, and read with them. It's possible he will have speech or motor skill delays, but AFAIK that's not due to a lack of parenting. I have a good friend who is a SUPER mom and when they had their DS evaluated at like 24 mos he had the verbal skills of a 9 mo old. She beat herself up, too, but it wasn't her fault. And I doubt it's yours, either. So go easy on yourself. Babies develop at their own rates and in their own time.
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Old 09-05-2006, 02:32 PM   #3
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

see that's what I said, I asked her, what about sitting up & crawling, should he be starting that or is it more a "per child" thing, she said well it's SORT of that...

Gavin is almost six months old

oh and incase anyone else is wondering what PAT is it's parents as teachers http://www.parentsasteachers.org/sit...MZJxE&b=272091
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Old 09-08-2006, 06:52 AM   #4
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

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Originally Posted by GavinsMommy
see that's what I said, I asked her, what about sitting up & crawling, should he be starting that or is it more a "per child" thing, she said well it's SORT of that...

Gavin is almost six months old

oh and incase anyone else is wondering what PAT is it's parents as teachers http://www.parentsasteachers.org/sit...MZJxE&b=272091
I didn't read all the way through the posts but I wanted to say my oldest DD was doing EVERYTHING early! I mean she was walking at 8.5 mos and had it mastered by 9.5 mos. My DD #2...well she is 7 months and just started rolling over this week. She's a lazy baby that is just content to be where she is, KWIM? My first was SO impatient (still is) was VERY nosey and was CONSTANTLY on the go. DD #2 well she lays in one spot rolls to get a toy and stays in that spot awhile. I asked her pedi if I should be concerned and he said that she is in the "normal" range and that every child is different and that when she is ready she will advance to the next stage. I might add that she was also 5 weeks premature. Some say it doesn't make that much of a difference but it really does! She has great fine motor skills though. She can pick a thread up off of the floor, she twiddles my hair when she nurses, she can pick up her sippy cup bring it to her mouth and drink by herself, but she can't sit up, say mama dada or anything other than blowing raspberry spit bubbles. She can't crawl has no desire to do so and I say she probably won't for a month or two. She is content with being a baby for as long as she wants to and that is fine by me and I am NOT stressing a/b it b/c she is her own unique individual and I don't put my children into categories by when they reach the "milestones". KWIM? It sounds to me like these people have UNREALISTIC expectations for babies that aren't ready to do things they don't want to do!!! Don't worry yourself over this and you sound like a WONDERFUL mama!!! He will do those things when he is good and ready to! My mom said she thought that I was never going to roll over! I waited till I was 5 months then rolled, sat up, crawled and pulled up all in the same month. GL, and I say dookie on them!!!
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Old 09-08-2006, 07:33 AM   #5
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

thanks hun yeah hubby and I both were never about "OMG he has to do this by then yada yada.." we encourage our kids but we don't expect miracles out of them kwim? we want them to do their best but we aren't trying to raise robots LOL
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Old 09-05-2006, 02:45 PM   #6
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

I've never even heard of P.A.T... but I know how you feel about that kind of stuff. But I mean, come on... how important is waving bye bye??? For one, I know good and well that Bram can immitate things but he doesn't wave bye bye because we never DO that. Usually the only person that ever says goodbye to him is DH and they don't wave to each other, they KISS and HUG goodbye, kwim? So he's never really had a chance to learn it!

With the sitting up thing, do you wear him a lot? I always wanted to wear Bram but since he has a physical disability, I resisted the urge and started putting him on the floor as OFTEN as possible, practically from birth. He started sitting up at 5 and half months old even though his legs barely work. The nurses at the pedi couldn't believe it at his 9 month check up and I was like "well, he's been able to do that for a while". And they said that they have a lot of neuro-typical kids that can't sit up yet at that age and its due to being worn all the time (or in the cases of the opposite extreme, kept in a bouncer or something all the time, but I'm sure that's not what you do!).

Walking and talking I can't really help ya with because Bram probably won't be able to walk for at least a year or so and he's not talking either.

But anyway, I wouldn't worry too much. If he can imitate other things (like showing him how to use a toy and then he does it, or at least tries) then he's probably just fine. And he probably just needs more time on the floor on his tummy to work those muscles he need for sitting up.

He'll get there, don't worry.
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Old 09-05-2006, 02:50 PM   #7
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

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Gavin is almost six months old
What??? That's way too young to be expected to say ANYTHING. That lady has some HIGH expectations. I was thinking the baby you were talking about would be closer to 12 months or something!

No, definatly, that's way too much to expect. I'm sure he is doing just fine. I know plenty of babies that didn't start saying mama and dada until at LEAST 9 months or so (and that's still early). And its still a little early to expect him to sit up unsupported too.

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Old 09-07-2006, 09:26 PM   #8
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

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...That's way too young to be expected to say ANYTHING. That lady has some HIGH expectations...
I completely agree. If your ped. is not worried, than I say tell this lady to stuff it.
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Old 09-07-2006, 09:52 PM   #9
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Don't feel bad all babies learn at different rates. My dd(will be 1 yr at the end of this month) has always been a month behind with things but she has proven to be smart and able to learn things when SHE wants to so we haven't been worried.
As long as your child progresses i don't think that there is a problem.
At a family reunion a month ago my relative actually suggested that i hold dd's hips up while she crawls so that she would not army crawl anymore.
I've heard of people that exercise their kids to reach milestones perfectly and do the flash cards and all but i just don't get it.
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Old 09-07-2006, 10:45 PM   #10
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

she just said it helped build their muscles so I dunno, I am doing some with him a lil but certainly not all she showed me
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