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Old 09-25-2006, 06:49 PM   #1
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Unhappy My Feelings are so hurt

I am so hurt and offended. I just started babysitting a little boy for a new family and we had been planning this job for a long time. They just moved here from across the country and I started watching their little boy the day after they got here. I have been watching him for 1 week and we were finally starting to bond and get our rhythm down.

Without warning today when she comes to pick him up she tells me that they're going to use someone else and she needs his things. I was so shocked. I asked why and she said that her son hasn't been acting right and they are really concerned about his welfare. I was sooo taken aback. Then she proceeded to say that she saw my daughter carry in a bottle of baby motrin when she came to pick up her son the other day and was very concerned. She couldn't have asked me about the situation??? (My daughter is teething a canine tooth and we had given her some motrin for her nap because all she does is walk around all day and say "teeth hurt" so it was still sitting on my night stand and she was bringing it to me to ask for more. It is completely child proof and it's not like she has access to the real medicine cabinet).

Anyway I am more offended and sad than anything else. I have been watching children for years and years without ever having a problem. I have excellent letters of recommendation from every family I have ever cared for and am trained in Early Childhood Education, CPR, first aid - you name it.

Am I that bad of a parent because my daughter had a little vial of infants motrin? Normally they are up in the medicine cabinet but I didn't find it to be a big deal to let my daughter bring it to me.

I am sad that she would assume her son's change in behavior would be associated to neglect or abuse. They just moved 2000 miles across the country and drop their child off with a complete stranger - it is going to take adjustment.

I practice AP and have been wearing him in a sling and everything. I am just so sad.

This is probably karma for me saying that he wasn't very cute on this board the other day.

Now we can't afford to pay our mortgage and I don't know what we are going to do.
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Old 09-25-2006, 06:53 PM   #2
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

Wow! That sounds harsh! I hope you can find another baby to watch. The motrin thing makes perfect sense to me
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:04 PM   #3
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

The motrin thing seem completely normal and I wouldn't think a thing about it. Unfortunatley, you always take risks when caring for other people's children. I kept 2 kids for a long time. First the boy from about 16 months and then when he got a little sister, until she was about the same age. These kids were at my house more than they were home. Even spent entire weekends with me. So, one day the mom calls and says she needs to ask me something, and tells me that the little boy told her that my husband spanked them when they were bad. I could have hit the floor. I was like no way...it never happened and never will. We aren't spankers, especially not somebody else's kid. I should say, that at this time, they themselves were spanking the 15 month old little girl as discipline...to each his own. BUT, I was adiment about it and she just left it at, "I expect you to handle the discipline." I never felt comfortable with those kids again. Come to find out, that the little boy was getting dh's job (cop) all wrapped up in his life. He asked about his job once, and he understanding of it was that dh catches people when they are bad and spanks them. 3 year old reasoning I suppose. Anyway, I cut ties shortly thereafter. I felt like I had to be on eggshells from there on out, and I haven't kept a child since.

You are right though. They should take into account the fact that this little guy has a lot to cause a change in behavior. I am sorry that you are going through this. Hopefully something will come along soon.
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Old 09-25-2006, 06:56 PM   #4
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

Hugs! That was not a very good way she handled it, I would be concerned if she could not talk about what was bothering her, it probably would not be a long relationship to start with! You sound so sweet - I would have loved to have someone like you watch my children when they were younger - instead I choose to stay home and do child care! They may have been concerned about AP, and he got used to it and wanted that care at home!

Not to make you feel bad, but just to be extra careful, my DD opened a childproof container of childrens tylenol while at a sitters and did need to have her stomach pumped - it was a horrible experience.

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Old 09-25-2006, 07:06 PM   #5
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

that's so sad! i can't imagine how hard it was for that little guy to move, get used to a new caregiver and now be removed from that situation (which sounds like it was really loving btw), and have to get to know another new caregiver. so much adjustment for someone who can't understand all that change. poor baby.

and i have to confess, i have given my babies baby tylenol bottles as toys. they love them! and the mothrin dispenser. so no, i don't think it was so bad that your dd brought you the bottle! actually i think its great that she can tell you what she needs.

im sorry this has happened.
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:06 PM   #6
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

it sounds like you should be glad to be free of her early to me...who knows what could've transpired later....
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:08 PM   #7
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

also reading the nanny diaries...fiction, but sounds like you would appreciate the themes in the book
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:35 PM   #8
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

That is so sad for you, I'm sorry that happened! I would love to find someone so sweet and caring as to wear my DS (well, at least when he was younger and not 27 lbs!). You will find something better, soon enough!
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Old 09-25-2006, 07:51 PM   #9
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

Aww thanks.

He was actually 30 lbs, LOL. A big fella but he was very apprehensive at first and it is usually the method I use to break the ice with a new baby. He turned 12 months last Saturday.

I hope I can find something. It is pretty sparse pickings around here. We just moved here 2 months ago and I came from a community that always had tons of people looking for childcare and over here everyone stuffs their kids into childcare centers with 8 to 1 ratios. It's very sad.


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Originally Posted by GrandIsp
That is so sad for you, I'm sorry that happened! I would love to find someone so sweet and caring as to wear my DS (well, at least when he was younger and not 27 lbs!). You will find something better, soon enough!
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Old 09-25-2006, 11:42 PM   #10
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Re: My Feelings are so hurt

Oh.. That's too bad.

But you remember. This is how she feels.. If she doesn't want you watching her child, it's her problem. Not yours. You did nothing wrong, and don't question your parenting because someone saw something they didn't like.
My daughter has also been known to carry around Child proof bottles. lol I think it's great that she has a way of telling you when she's in pain! I still have to guess with miranda most of the time. lol

I wonder what else might of happened later on down the line. It's probably for the best that she decided to up and leave now. You sound like a great Caregiver. Don't let her make you wonder.

Good luck with finding other jobs down the line.
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