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Old 06-17-2008, 11:39 AM   #1
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Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Some days I wonder if it is worth it. I work opposite of DH, and by the time Friday rolls aroung I am exausted, and usually cranky. Does anyone else work opposite of SO? How do you manage to maintain balance? Any advice?
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Old 06-17-2008, 12:21 PM   #2
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

I don't but just wanted to add that I couldn't! i'm exhausted and sometimes cranky from lack of help. But I won't get into that here. I do enjoy us being able to spend the evenings together as a family.
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Old 06-17-2008, 12:41 PM   #3
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Kind of. For the longest time we worked exactly opposite schedules and hardley ever saw each other. A few years ago when I found out that I was pregnant with our 3rd I panicked big time!!! I didn't know how I was going to handle workng all day and then coming home to take care of 3 little ones, not to mention cooking, cleaning and doing laundry - MAN, IT MAKES ME NERVOUS THINKING ABOUT IT. Luckly before I had my dd my dh was offered a weekend shift. So now he works all weekend, but we get to see him all week So it was definitley worth giving up weekends. And one of the best parts of all is that now my kids get to stay home with dad. . . . . and he LOVES it!
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Old 06-17-2008, 12:45 PM   #4
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

As far as advice the only thing I can think of to help you maintain sanity is just to try your best to have a schedule and stick to it (dinner time, bath time, story time, bed time. . . and then Mama time ). Something that helped me (and still does) is having everyone one a schedule. There are no kids out of bed past 8:00 in our house. Oh - and I would always do certain things on certain days: grocery day, laundry day (depending on how much laundry you have), etc.
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Old 06-17-2008, 01:27 PM   #5
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Yep. Since I quit teaching when DD was 8 weeks old, we've been working opposite shifts. We really do not want to send her (or any other children) to daycare, so it's a choice we made. DH works 6am to 3pm, and I work 5pm to 10-11pm. We've had to make certain things a priority. In the hour and a half between our jobs I get to take a shower kid-free, and he plays his computer game while DD naps or just has quiet time in her room.
We also have Sundays blocked from both of our schedules. Nothing interferes with our family day.
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Old 06-17-2008, 07:12 PM   #6
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

We don't work opposite shifts, but we may as well. I work from 6:25 a.m. until 2:30 p.m., but I am really at work from about 6:10 a.m. until 2:45 p.m. My partner takes care of Makenna in the mornings after I leave... M. sleeps in until 6:30 a.m. usually though. She gets dropped off at daycare at 7:45 a.m. and is there until I pick her up around 3 p.m.

My partner does not get home until 5:30 p.m. or later. And usually, I make dinner either right before she gets home or right after (oftentimes, she's late and I get next to no notice), then DD gets fed dinner... then, bath time... and bed for DD between 7-7:30 p.m.

My partner doesn't care for DD, if I'm here. Ever.
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:37 PM   #7
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

i work from 5am till 1:30 pm, dh works from 2:30pm till 11pm or later. he leaves pretty much when i get home. it sucks.
the thing that really helped us is a routine. i have to go to bed pretty early in order to make it through the day, and that means i book it when i get home to get it all done. if i didnt have a schedule i'd be so lost and crabby.
you have to make the time for each other. that is number one.
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Old 06-18-2008, 02:59 AM   #8
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

I am not back at work yet (just had the baby 6/9), but when I do go back, DH and I will be on different shifts. He works 5a-2p and I will be at work from noon-8:30p. In the time that overlaps, his aunt, sister or grandmother will be watching our DS. We had little choice with this arrangement because DH's job is doing so poorly now. One of us had to change shifts and me changing was best because otherwise DH was at a higher risk of being laid off sooner.
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Old 06-18-2008, 10:07 AM   #9
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

We do and I HATE it. We have no overlap at all. It just seems impossible to get anything done when there is never another adult in the house. We chose this so we didn't have to leave my son with anyone else.

I think getting someone to come and help out a little while you are home would be fabulous. When we are in high gardening season, my mom will come over a couple of times, otherwise, I would get no canning done and be the proud owner of a big patch of weeds and rotten veggies.

I haven't figured out the relationship part yet. We are always so busy getting caught up on the weekend (and I have clients in my home on the weekends) that we rarely get any quality time together. Also, sometimes I am so cranky from the stress of it, we end up fighting when we do see each other anyway. But, it is a choice we have made and until I can find a way around it, we will continue to live like this.
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Old 06-18-2008, 12:31 PM   #10
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Sorry I didn't answer sooner..but I do. DH works swing shift (3rd shift) and I work first. It helps that I come home for an hour during lunch, but DH has it a lot worse than me. DS is up during the day and DH sleeps maybe 4 hours, if he's lucky. He also has a very long commute (over 100 miles in a day!). When we can, we get my mother to help out, or sometimes DH will go half an hour away to his mother's. To save on gas, this means that I won't see DS until the next day, if I'm lucky. I will go 24 hours without seeing my son sometimes, which is very hard, but I know that DH really needs his sleep and that every little bit helps. It is incredibly difficult and DH is now considering working less days than he already does.
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