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Old 10-03-2006, 12:22 PM   #1
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My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Alright, so a while back I posted in the Breastfeeding forum about how my DD's Pediatric office isn't exactly the best fit for us. They don't encourage breastfeeding (though they don't discourage it either), are in and out with scarcely a close glace at the child and you never see the same Pediatrician. But, because we are very limited in selections due to our insurance, I've stuck with them.

Today we took Emma for what appears to be an eye infection, and also some yeast problems (what I thought was just plain old diaper rash).
We were about halfway through the appointment when the Doctor says "now, has seen had her first vaccinations yet?"
I replied "No, we are going to be holding off on vaccinating for a while."
He gets this look on his face, sighs and says
"well, can I ask WHY you don't want to vaccinate your child?"
Being that I'd already been through this with TWO of the other Pediatricians on staff, I simply stated "Just personal preference. I just know what I want and think is best for my child."

Now, here is where I got angry...

"well, I wouldn't be doing my job as a Doctor if I didn't set you straight on vaccinations. *insert multiple horror stories about his former patients here*. And I don't know what you've heard, but the reason children are healthy as they are these days is because of vaccinations. They don't cause autism, nor do they carry risks like they used to. Now, I can't control what you do with your child, but I feel like I should tell you upfront that most Pediatricians you'll find will take offense that you choose not to vaccinate your child. Rather than coming in with all this outside information, and telling us we are the bad guys and are out to hurt your kid; I suggest reading the facts first."

I left with a BAD taste in my mouth. My husband and I both felt belittled, accused and verbally accosted by this Doctor.
Am I overeacting? I just didn't care for the WAY he approached it, the things he said, or the fact that he was basically telling me I was a low-grade moron for not vaccinating.

I'm pretty upset. Especially since this is the THIRD time we've had a mini-lecture from this office about vaxing. Now I almost feel like I'm waiting for an ultimatum. "Vax, or go elsewhere".

What do I do? Where should I go from here?
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Old 10-03-2006, 12:31 PM   #2
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Tell him it is a choice you have made and are WELL informed about it. I would have said that I don't appreciate coming here and being told that I am insulting you when you just went a head and insulted me.

I would have changed Dr's for sure after that!
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Old 10-03-2006, 06:02 PM   #3
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

I hate drs like that, i have got to the point where i stop them in their tracks, tell them it if our personal religious beliefs, if they want to discriminate us because of our religion, fine, we will leave and contact a lawyer. They usually shut up.
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Old 10-03-2006, 06:26 PM   #4
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

WOW!!!

I'm personnally a vaxer but who the he** does he think he is?? You stated your oppinion on the subject PERIOD!!!! Discussion over.

I could even understand him explaining that autism hasn't been proven to be caused by vaxing and stuff but the rest...come on.

I would've probably caused a stink and went rigght home to search for a new doctor.

Sorry mama, that's terrible.
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Old 10-03-2006, 12:31 PM   #5
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Wow. Uh. I can tell you I personally would not have left without an apology from that Dr and I would be making a STINK. HUGE HUGE HUGE stink! So not cool. You definitley NEED to find a new Dr. I know how sucky it can be with very limited choices but there has to be someone to better suite your needs as a parent and not to make you feel like a bad one because youre simply doing what is best for your child.
I'd be writing a letter to that Dr, to the office, let them know you will be making a formal complaint. Even if nothing gets done right away - maybe there are others who have or will make complaints and something will happen.
GL mama! to you! You're doin' good by your family and that is ALL that matters.
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Old 10-03-2006, 12:53 PM   #6
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Whoa. What a nice attitude. I'm sorry, but as a doctor, you're there to serve your patients - not get offended because they don't just do exactly what you say without question. He doesn't sound like a respectful person, regardless of his philosophy. I don't think you're overreacting at all. No one should talk to you that way, no matter whether they disagree with you or not. It annoys me that some doctors feel that because they're doctors they have the right to talk to you any way they want, because they know better than you do. It's a really arrogant attitude, and I don't think arrogance makes someone a very reliable doctor. Too much ego gets in the way of giving good care, IMO. I would be looking for another pediatrician, since that visit left such a bad taste in your mouth. Obviously not a good fit for you. I hope you can find someone who will treat you with the respect that any human being deserves!
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Old 10-03-2006, 02:11 PM   #7
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Quote:
Originally Posted by tennesseemom View Post
"well, I wouldn't be doing my job as a Doctor if I didn't set you straight on vaccinations. *insert multiple horror stories about his former patients here*. And I don't know what you've heard, but the reason children are healthy as they are these days is because of vaccinations. They don't cause autism, nor do they carry risks like they used to. Now, I can't control what you do with your child, but I feel like I should tell you upfront that most Pediatricians you'll find will take offense that you choose not to vaccinate your child. Rather than coming in with all this outside information, and telling us we are the bad guys and are out to hurt your kid; I suggest reading the facts first."

(snip)
What do I do? Where should I go from here?
I'm a vaxer, but this pisses me off. He's assuming you're ignorant, which says a lot (bad) about him.

Next time he starts that garbage, try using a response along the lines of "What makes you think I haven't read the facts?", and wait for him to answer. Make him own his own ignorance.

Good luck...I feel so fortunate to have good peds who questioned why we delayed vaxes with DD, but actually believed our educated answers.
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Old 10-03-2006, 02:34 PM   #8
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisahas2cats View Post
I'm a vaxer, but this pisses me off. He's assuming you're ignorant, which says a lot (bad) about him.


I haven't experienced that with a Ped, but I did have similar experiences with 2 OBs. One actually rolled his eyes at me when I was asking questions about my partial molar miscarriage...he told me that I asked too many questions and needed to just be quiet and let him do his job. Um...he had just told me that I could get cancer...I think that justifies some questions. The other was great until I refused to eat candy bars to gain weight during pregnancy (I wasn't opposed to gaining weight, just didn't think candy bars were the best way to grow a baby).

Both times, I left the practice. I can't stand docs who get upset when patients do their own research. I mean, it's my (or my child's) body...I think it's irresponsible to have blind faith in a doc. As far as I'm concerned, if they aren't willing to have a respectful discussion with me about issues, then I'm not willing to be their patient. If they get defensive and hostile...well there must be a reason, KWIM? I'm not saying that they have to agree with me...but respect is the bare minimum.

Good luck...and do check out the other peds that you insurance covers. There *may* be one that is a better fit.
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Old 10-03-2006, 05:38 PM   #9
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

That is outrageous. Not only would I look for a new ped. I would file a complaint with either the hr department if it's a large practice or your insurance company. That is not okay way to speak to anyone.

When I told my ped that we weren't vaxing he said fine although there was a measles epidemic, no where near us though, and he would recomend getiing vaccinated or that.
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Old 10-03-2006, 05:44 PM   #10
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Re: My Pediatrician got HOSTILE!

Ummm, I would move on to the next ped on your list! That is rediculous and uncalled for.

Sorry you had to go through with that mama!
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