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Old 08-10-2008, 09:13 PM   #1
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This is a support forum!

It was certainly not my intention for this thread to become what it has become. We are here to support each other, not berate one another. I really appreciate the mamas on DS and I want to continue to have a good relationships here.


There was a post where a mama was asking for free formula on my local CL. Another mama posted a reply that indicated that some people were scamming. If they truly needed formula, then they needed to contact their local wic office or the baptist crisis pregnancy center. There were several people who chimed in on the debate, on both sides of the issue.

Well, I can't ever keep my mouth shut... as you mamas already know... so I posted a listing that said...

Here's a thought... BREASTFEED then you will not have to worry about buying/getting formula.

Oh my goodness! There was a firestorm for the next few hours. You would have thought a bomb went off. YIKES! People were so angry at me. How dare you say that? Who do you think you are?

Disclaimer: I didn't say that everyone had to bf... I was just offering a solution! I certainly will not do that again!
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Old 08-10-2008, 09:38 PM   #2
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

I don't think your comment was out of line. but people get soooooo defensive about this, I'm not surprised there was a firestorm.
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:04 AM   #3
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:36 AM   #4
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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Originally Posted by dragynflye View Post
i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
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Old 08-11-2008, 06:18 AM   #5
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
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Old 08-11-2008, 09:20 AM   #6
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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Originally Posted by Melaine View Post
I agree. After six week early twins in the nicu for 2 weeks, taking medication to increase my supply, seeing two different lactation consulants multiple times and lots of practice I struggled through pumping and trying to bf for four months. I finally had to go to formula. And trust me, it IS expensive especially for twins, so I also understanding seeking help through WIC, charity, whatever. But I do think it is totally inappropriate to suggest ff to a bf mom.

The thing that bothers me is people make certain assumptions about both. Some people may assume that all moms who ff are selfish or ignorant, or apathetic to their children's needs. That's of course ridiculous, as is the assumption that all moms who bf are doing so because of the health and emotional benefits to their child. For all you know, they could be doing it strictly because it is free!!!
After not being able to bf my first, because of health issues he had; i AM bfing ds#2 for that reason; and also because of the antibodies.

The way it was worded was out of line.
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Old 08-12-2008, 06:17 PM   #7
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Re: This is a support forum!

OP, no I DO NOT think you are out of line.

I haven't read through this entire thread, AND I'm not anti-formula feeding, but....

I do find it interesting that even though our bodies were created to feed our offspring, it is completely acceptable that those that choose to do so, or offer up their (solicited, mind you) opinions are berated. My TRIPLETS were in the NICU for 3 weeks, yet I was able to breastfeed two of the three. I'm not even saying that mothers should breastfeed. I'm just curious why those that make a choice to formula feed think it's okay to force their choices on those that have made the decision to breastfeed.

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Old 08-11-2008, 12:10 PM   #8
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

Just an FYI, the amount of formula WIC gives monthly does NOT amount to enough for the entire month. Maybe the listers were really in need of the extra bit of formula?

I don't get into the FF vs BF mommy wars because I swing both ways and do find myself offended by a lot of things that COULD be said...

HOWEVER, I think your comment, or the way you worded your comment, was well.. way out of line. What if it was because the family only had a small can to last for the next week and really couldn't spare the extra 16 dollars for one more can until their next wic checks were good.

Maybe you could have reworded your comment to the tune of-- I'm sorry that formula is so high, I'm sure some breastfeeding mothers, MYSELF INCLUDED, in this area, could pump a few onces for you. Then you a providing a solution to her problem, without giving away free formula.
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Old 08-12-2008, 06:01 PM   #9
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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Originally Posted by dragynflye View Post
i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
I'm all for breastfeeding and I was lucky that it was easy for me and my DD.
Not everyone is so lucky. You should be more considerate of other people's feelings, and not make any assumptions about why anyone FF.
Sorry, I think you were way out of line
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Old 08-11-2008, 01:17 AM   #10
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

People get freaked out if you mention BF to formula feeding mamas - but if you're BFing usually it doesn't seem out of line to any one to suggest formula.

This is a toughy.....it doesn't sound like you were out of line, if only offering a suggestion. But it's one of those subjects that no one is "right" about and EVERYONE has an opinion about. Good luck weathering the storm.
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