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Old 10-20-2006, 09:46 PM   #1
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Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

You know, everyone thinks breastfeeding moms are oh so judgemental. If we make a comment about a woman formula feeding...we get railed on for being insensitive and not "knowing" the full situation. But ffers can see a woman nip and make a comment and it's "understandable" I just don't get it. I'm not saying ALL formula feeders are judgemental but people have to realize ALL breastfeeders aren't judgemental either.

I was making a new friend the other day...a young, single mom, someone I had a lot in common with. She stopped talking to me suddenly when I started nursing. She didn't stop talking to me because she was offended by my nursing, she stopped talking to me because she ASSUMED that because I breastfed I would just rip on her because she formula fed her son.

I hate that! I can be a bit judgemental, I will admit that, but if I don't know the situation, why would I say anything to her about not breastfeeding?? Why would it have even come up? Her son is already 20 months old.

Ugh, I just hate that everybody assumes us breastfeeding moms are all judgemental because of the few people that are totally overboard. I certainly don't assume that just because a woman formula feeds her baby she is judgemental against nip and think it's gross.

By the way, the reason she didn't breastfeed was because she got a depo shot right at birth, she was young and single and her dr told her that's what she should do and no one explained to her that it would suppress her milk supply. At her son's 2 week well baby he was down 2 1/2 lbs from his birth weight. She started using formula.

I have been in her shoes and understand why she trusted her dr...it's hard being a young uneducated mother and you think your dr would know best! She didn't even give me the chance to understand her though!

This isn't meant to start drama...just a personal issue that happened the other day and I don't know what to do about it. You think I should still try to hang out with her or just let it go??
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Old 10-20-2006, 09:49 PM   #2
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

Amen sista!
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Old 10-20-2006, 09:51 PM   #3
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

Yeah, still hang out with her! Sounds like she could use a good friend like you - she's probably acting that way because she's been "bitten" before.

Show her how kind and understanding we nursing mamas can be!

You never know . . . she may have different circumstances for a future baby, and recall you looking so comfortable with the nursing that she decides to give it a try!
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:03 PM   #4
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

Did you ask her why she stopped talking or did she say something...I read through your post but didn't see what she said specifically to you.
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:08 PM   #5
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

She didn't say it to me, she said it to another friend of mine. She told her "oh, another one of those hippy breastfeeding moms. You know how they treat moms who formula feed or don't cloth diaper or feed organic foods" and then went on to explain why she didn't breastfeed and all the crap she gets for it. I guess she didn't realize I was friends with the woman she said that to or she wanted me to hear it. I can't say I know EXACTLY what she said because you know...the telephone game. But I think I got the basic jist of it.
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:37 PM   #6
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

I hope your other friend backed you up as being a nice kind mom, not just a hippy breastfeedin organtic one..
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:39 PM   #7
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

OMG wow. That's nuts!

I think she is probably saying it because of how she gets treated about ff? I don't know. Or maybe her own insecurities?? Most bf'ing, cd'ing "hippy" moms are too laid back to act like that. LOL
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Old 10-21-2006, 07:21 PM   #8
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

I formula fed my first two kids and am breastfeeding my last two kids. I have cans of formula (free samples I got in the mail) sitting on my kitchen counter just waiting to be given away. I want to ask this lady in my daughter's gymnastics class what brand she uses for her son to see if she would want the formula, but I'm afraid she will think I'm judging her somehow for formula feeding. Am I being silly?
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Old 10-21-2006, 07:28 PM   #9
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

Honestly...I would be a little protective of myself.
I don't mean not associate with, maybe just not so tightly.
She sounds like she needs a good friend ... but may not be a good one, kwim?
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Old 10-21-2006, 07:47 PM   #10
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Re: Breastfeeding moms are NOT the only judgemental ones

She also may be just young and dumb and just not know how to respond at times. Maybe just over look the whole thing and see if you get along well with other things and have other things in common with her then it might be a good friendship. To me this young lady sounds like she was just showing her cover and "you can't judge a book by its cover" Give her a chance and just don't dwell on the nursing. You didn't to begin with, you just did what came naturally to you and that was to nurse your child.
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