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Old 09-24-2008, 04:30 PM   #1
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DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

My older son was born at 35 weeks and his lungs were immature.. he was on a ventilator and needed a blood transfusion from his heart valve not closing off. Still to this day, tears come to my eyes over it. It was awful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. But, I can't help but feel some twinges of jealousy when I hear of others having their boy at 34 and 35 weeks and they are 'fine'.. no breathing problems.. not even steriod shots during the pregnancy to help spur the lung maturity. I feel a great amount of pain to this day from his birth. I just don't understand it and it makes me a little angry. I am sure those of you that have had a premature birth and having to put them on the vent can relate to this.. There is nothing like leaving the hospital, but having to leave the baby behind.. I think that heartbreak will never truly heal for me. I had gone into premature labor multiple times with him and not once did they tell me that we could have gotten steriod shots to help his little lungs out. I know it's a little late now being he's 15 years old.. it just bothers me.
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Old 09-24-2008, 04:36 PM   #2
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Gosh, I don't think there is anything more painful for a mom than to watch her child suffer. And just because he's older doesn't mean the pain goes away. But thank God for his life! He could have not survived! How is he? How's his personality? Does he play sports?

I think that in the moments when this sadness comes over me, I'd just force myself to be thankful for all of the wonderful things he's able to do. And be thankful for the wonderful years that he has been blessed with, knowing that so many moms come home from the hospital with no baby.

Fight off the mom guilt! You didn't know about the steriod shots, and that's that! Besides, as a teen, he must give you so many other things to worry about!! ;-)

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Old 09-24-2008, 04:47 PM   #3
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

That is so true.. I am so happy things did work out and he is alive and here with us today.. it was just so traumatizing at the time. They even had a preacher come in to pray with me.. I really thought he was going to die. You'd think seeing how he's grown up throughout the years, I'd forget about that stuff. He actually has aspergers syndrome, mild autism. But I know that could be so much worse as well.
You are right though.. I have to focus on the good things, and try to just leave behind the negative.
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Old 09-24-2008, 04:55 PM   #4
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

DS was born just shy of 35 weeks as well. The gave me a steroid shot when I went into labor, but my labor was too fast for it to have any effect. He was intubated and spent nearly 2 weeks in the NICU. It was the hardest 2 weeks of my life. I wouldn't wish a NICU experience on anyone! We get reminders for "NICU graduation" reunions and things, and I can't go to them. I have no desire to relive those memories. I don't even like driving past the hospital where I can see the window that was next to his bed. It was so hard.

When I went into labor my m/w said that at 35 weeks some kids are fine, some aren't. I guess our boys were just a few of the unlucky ones.
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Old 09-26-2008, 04:36 PM   #5
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Ive got 3 preemies.. A 29 weeker who did excellent.. A 27 weeker who is now 3.5 years old and STILL on a ventilator and a 26 weeker who has done pretty well... Ive learned not to take anything for granted. Sure, Im envious of those who have healthy babies and were able to leave the NICU behind.. One day we may be able to get this ICU out of our house, but until then its a part of our life... I may not like it but I have to accept it.. I cant change the past. I could cry about it but that wont do anything. I could cry about the present or the future but that wouldnt do anything either.. I just focus on the positive.. Why waste your time focusing on the negative.. Right now Im looking at my child sleeping, ventilator attached, feeding tube attached, pulseox just going about its business.. Id love to just throw this stuff out of the window but its one of those "necessary evils"... Its just something that has to be embraced.
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Old 09-26-2008, 07:22 PM   #6
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

I had the steroid shots because of preterm labor (shout out to my bedrest mommas) and they thought by 35 weeks she'd be fine--they let me go back to work and all of that stuff. I went into labor in week 36, and once they broke my water she flew out and it was too much for her to adjust to and she ended up in the NICU for 2.5 weeks with a little tear in her lungs, fluid in her lungs from that, some apnea issues, and learning to breastfeed. She's healthy as a horse now though, so I feel very blessed that she was able to pull through a rough start so well. There are always the what-ifs--what if they didn't tell me it was okay a week before so I wouldn't have encouraged my prodromal labor and would have taken it easier, what if I didn't let them break my water so she would have been born slower (it was 7cm to her on my chest in under 20 minutes), etc.But what happened, happened, and after a lot of regret I'm finally moving past it and enjoying her as she is now.
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Old 09-24-2008, 05:00 PM   #7
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

Every baby is different mama!! Most babies, especially white baby boys, don't start breathing on their own without steroid shots in advance until 36wks. My boys were almost 35wks but they were twins and the NICU nurses all thought they were more like 37+wks because of the wrinkles in their palms and feet. Your DS may have actually been more like 34wks ya know? Spermies live for up to 5 days, then you have the travel down the fallopian tubes and implantation. I mean, an EDD is only than, an estimation! Some babies are born at 37wks and need to be on a vent so you just can't change the fact that he did, you can only be so thankful he's healthy and strong! Remind mamas when their baby is born at 35wks and isn't on a vent that their lucky! Not every baby is that lucky, your baby boy wasn't. There is a new bulletin board called mymommytime.com and they have a special forum for preemies, kinda like BabyCenter but it's supposed to be better. Maybe you can apply to be the Moderator or something. Help support other mommies out there who need the support you needed!!
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Old 09-24-2008, 05:08 PM   #8
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

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Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
Every baby is different mama!! Most babies, especially white baby boys, don't start breathing on their own without steroid shots in advance until 36wks. My boys were almost 35wks but they were twins and the NICU nurses all thought they were more like 37+wks because of the wrinkles in their palms and feet. Your DS may have actually been more like 34wks ya know? Spermies live for up to 5 days, then you have the travel down the fallopian tubes and implantation. I mean, an EDD is only than, an estimation! Some babies are born at 37wks and need to be on a vent so you just can't change the fact that he did, you can only be so thankful he's healthy and strong! Remind mamas when their baby is born at 35wks and isn't on a vent that their lucky! Not every baby is that lucky, your baby boy wasn't. There is a new bulletin board called mymommytime.com and they have a special forum for preemies, kinda like BabyCenter but it's supposed to be better. Maybe you can apply to be the Moderator or something. Help support other mommies out there who need the support you needed!!
Thanks! You make some great points! I might just check out that board..
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Old 09-24-2008, 04:59 PM   #9
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

i am so sorry mama ... i understand that it must have been hard but i felt blessed that my lil one was early but fine! she wasnt as early as your ds but she was born right at 37 weeks
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Old 09-24-2008, 05:04 PM   #10
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Re: DS was born at 35 weeks with immature lungs.. how come others are so lucky??

My dd was born by c/s at exactly 37 weeks, and was excellent. I was told that for some reason, little girls lungs tend to mature a little faster than boys.
DesertRat, so sorry you had to experience the same thing..
I am sincerely happy for those of you that were lucky and your children were fine without breathing problems... I just wish that could have been my case too I guess. Wish I had been more informed.. wish I had asked more questions and did more research.. I was a couple weeks shy of being 21 yrs old and I really didn't know.
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