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Old 12-04-2006, 04:12 PM   #1
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When did you leave your kids...

In the church nursery? DD is 8 months old and she just started really eating solids in the last two weeks so she's pretty much EBF'd. Up until now no one really said anything to me about leaving her in the nursery but now that she's a little older I'm starting to get some comments. Not negative comments, just comments. KWIM?

Here are some of the reasons I'm not ready to leave her...
(I work in the church nursery once or twice a month so I know these things first hand)

*Nursery workers are constantly giving the babies cheerios even though most of the babies aren't ready for them. This point has been proven time and again when I've had to finger sweep cheerios out of a gagging babies mouth.

*Nursery workers always say "Oh, we'll come get you if she gets upset". But they don't! There are always kids in there screaming their hearts out for a good 30 minutes while nursery workers try to conjole them into happiness.

*DD just barely tolerates me leaving the room when we're at home with DH and DS much less with complete strangers!!

She's a very attached baby and we all (dd, dh, and I) like it that way. I'm always hearing comments (when people are trying to get DD to come to them) like "You'll have to let go of mama sometime" and "You can't stay attached to her forever".

So, my questions are...When did you let your DC stay in the church nursery? and If you were "delayed" in that decision, how did you handle the comments?"
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Old 12-04-2006, 04:18 PM   #2
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

My ds is 17 months and I still don't leave him in the church nursery. We don't have one church that we always go to either, I don't think even if we did I would leave him with complete strangers yet.

He is getting close to me being able to leave him at Jazzercise in the nursery, but I still feel uneasy about it. Now he stays with my mom and grandma just fine but knows them very well. I want him to comfortable with it and I don't think he is quite ready for complete strangers yet.

I say do what your heart says.....I have got a few comments for not leaving him with people overnight and I just kind of brush it off.

HTH
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Old 12-04-2006, 04:42 PM   #3
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

Well... our church nursery doesn't allow you to leave them until they are 18 months old.

Camden is 21 (almost 22!) months old, and he has only been left a handful of times.

Reasons?
-Camden has allergy issues. Although I tell them EVERY time that he cannot have anything with soy or cheese in it, they act surprised every time I tell them, so it obviously isn't sticking! I've taken to handing them a bag of "Cam approved" snacks for snack times; even still, either me or my husband remain in there during snack time. (Since they STILL serve cheese crackers! Granted, they don't give them to Cam, but all the kids are always reaching off the other kids "plates".)

-Camden has a lot of health issues. Nobody in our church has the decency to keep their kids home when they are sick. Something that might be minor to their child (cold) can be determental to Camden. Lately, we haven't been taking him to church at all (we trade off weeks, one week I stay home, the next week DH stays home), just to avoid this problem.

-He's a mama's boy (and Daddys boy!). He doesn't do well being left, and I'm not going to let him scream for hours! Our church time (and his nursery time) is right during his normal nap time, so he's grumpy and tired anyway.



I'm not overprotective (okay, I am), I'm just smart.
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:10 PM   #4
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

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I'm not overprotective (okay, I am), I'm just smart.
Amen!
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:15 PM   #5
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

I'll never leave my dd w/ anybody, even if it was in church nursery. I will never forget my ds crying when I left him in daycare! It was horrible!
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:18 PM   #6
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

Sorry to hijack, but what do you do w/them if you don't leave them in the nursery? I really wanna start going back to my UU church, but I can't leave DS (who's only 8 months) by himself. I think I'd be more comfortable having him with me if they had benches where I could get comfortable and nurse him to keep him quiet during service, but my church just has chairs.
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:26 PM   #7
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

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Originally Posted by Moonprysm View Post
Sorry to hijack, but what do you do w/them if you don't leave them in the nursery? I really wanna start going back to my UU church, but I can't leave DS (who's only 8 months) by himself. I think I'd be more comfortable having him with me if they had benches where I could get comfortable and nurse him to keep him quiet during service, but my church just has chairs.
I wear DD in the MT. She falls asleep during worship and usually stays asleep for the rest of the service. If she wakes up during the service we go hang out in the nursery till church is over.
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Old 12-04-2006, 06:50 PM   #8
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonprysm View Post
Sorry to hijack, but what do you do w/them if you don't leave them in the nursery? I really wanna start going back to my UU church, but I can't leave DS (who's only 8 months) by himself. I think I'd be more comfortable having him with me if they had benches where I could get comfortable and nurse him to keep him quiet during service, but my church just has chairs.
We just keep him with us! I just keep a well stocked diaper bag, and we're usually good. When he was still nursing, I'd just nurse him there.
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Old 12-04-2006, 06:48 PM   #9
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

We left Emma for the 1st time around 15 months. She did suprising well esp. for a child who followed me from room to room at home and fussed whenever I'd leave her side!

I give alot of credit to her wonderful teacher! She's 26 months now and can't wait for Sundays so she can "go see her friends and Ms. Shana at church"!

I say just wait till you are both ready. If you are worrying about him in the nursery then you probably won't be paying attention in church anyway...so what's the point.

Maybe try staying in the nursery with him a few times and see how it goes. That way he can get used to the workers and the enviroment. Put a tag on him (as well as telling the staff everytime) that he is not to have any solids!
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Old 12-04-2006, 10:38 PM   #10
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Re: When did you leave your kids...

Our church doesn't have a nursery(my MIL says they don't believe in having them in this church) and there are tons of families with young kids to older kids as well. All kids stay in the service with their parents, however, this past year they've been doing a kids session when the kids pre k thru 4th grade go to another room for a kids lesson...bible story. But we do have what they call a cry room. And that is where you can still see and hear the service but it is a sound proof room where you can sit with your little ones and they can play, eat,nurse or what ever. My 3 yr old usually takes a catnap in mine or dady's arms during the sermon and is upbeat and happy for the music! We hardly ever use the cry room.

ETA:
We did visit another church and left our son in the nursery, he was over a year old. He was crying so much and the church staff didn't know who we were or where we were sitting to find us (and he was only in there for like 10 minutes when I went in to check on him). They have now invested in the pager system because of my child. We've gone back a few times and he just stays with us...but then again he's too old for the nursery and is very clingy with dh and I.

For me it just feels un-natural to be in a service without my youngest...I'm so used to having him with me, it would just feel weird if he wasn't there.

I did go to a friends baptism without dh or my son(they were sick) and it felt so weird sitting there without my son in my arms.
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