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Old 12-04-2006, 07:03 PM   #1
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I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

Okay... Last week we have started looking for a new place to send our 2 year old for daycare while we work. We love where she is going now, but she may need to go back to work. Anyways, I have 2 people that I have lined up to "interview" about watching her. I talked to both today and both seem very nice and the price is right.
My DH is gone helping a friend shovel their driveway and I get a phone call. It's his cousin who's barely 18. She said, "Dave said that I am going to be watching Stella and he wanted me to tell you." I was shocked. I am so mad. I hardly know this girl, her dad is wierd, and she's young and has a kid... that was news to me! I guess the kid is 9 months old. Then she said, "so which one am I watching?" Okay, my DH didn't even tell her that???? I told her Stella and she said... "oh that will be easy!". Yeah right! She's 2!!!! Now what do I do, I do not feel safe with her watching my DD... I'm very protective. His family isn't all that bright and I don't want Stella turning out like them...

I feel like crying. I don't understand why he couldn't discuss it with me first. He hasn't even been home to tell me!
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:31 PM   #2
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

oh hon. first, you can be sure that stella won't end up like the woman jsut because she watches her during the day. you are still her most important influence, no matter what. second, i would be HOT!! if my dh did something like that. i think you should talk to him about that, maybe suggest she get the same interview as the others. have you set any criteria for the person you hire? in writing, preferably? cousin should have to measure up too. i hope you find a good resolution to this problem. good luck.
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:41 PM   #3
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

He's still not home to talk to. I'm just scared that Stella isn't going to get the care she would get at another person's home. The only time I've met this girl is when I went over to their trailer and it was dark in there and it was a mess! Man, I can't believe he would even consider that for Stella. She's doing so well now... she can do her ABC's, sing, she's not going to get that there!

He's home now. I dont' even want to look at him.
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:50 PM   #4
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

Ok, there is no way I would let her watch my child if I weren't comfortable with it. So, if it was me, I'd just call the cousin and tell her that you had made other arrangements and you are sorry for the confusion on DH's part.

I hope it all works out! Don't send her somewhere you don't feel comfortable with. You know what is best for her.
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Old 12-04-2006, 08:14 PM   #5
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

I would just say no way. And to have her tell you? He knew he did something wrong. I'd be livid and I'd have him on the phone telling the cousin she's out.
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Old 12-05-2006, 04:32 AM   #6
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

maybe he got a little 'pressured' into it? i don't know...but don't send your dd there if you aren't comfortable
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Old 12-04-2006, 07:48 PM   #7
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

Honestly, I would tell my dh that I was uncomftorable with that decision and I felt he was wrong to make it without me. I would let him know I would be happy to hear his reasons for wanting this person to watch our child, but that in the end, our decision needed to be something we were both comftorable with. The fact is that this is your child's safety and wellbeing, it is not just about abc's and learning (though that is great!) it is about the quality of care that would be provided and, another big thing, would this person be able to respond properly in a moment of emergency? If you aren't comftorable with those things, then don't leave your dd with this girl!!!


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Old 12-04-2006, 07:50 PM   #8
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Re: I'm so upset. DH made decision without me!

I think he knows I'm mad because he hasn't come in the house since he got home! It's hard being married to a wall...LOL.
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