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Old 12-18-2006, 09:38 AM   #1
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How do you feel about...

males watching/babysitting/taking care of your children?

DH and I were talking yesterday after church about volunteering in our church's nursery. Because of DD age and naps we might not be able to both volunteer at the same time. So, I asked him if he wanted to while I went home with DD and then the following week, we'd switch or some other type of arrangements. He mentioned that he'd feel more comfortable in the older rooms (like 2+ years) because of perceptions of males taking care of children. We've discussed the issue personally before when looking for babysitters for DD. I just don't feel comfortable with males watching children. At first I thought, well if it's one of our brothers, or grandpa, then I'd feel okay. BUT then I mentioned that sexual abuse is MORE COMMON among relatives and non-strangers. I'd HATE to think that anyone of our relatives would ever harm a child, but honestly, I know that it can and does happen with even the least suspecting person. I've heard a few Christian testimonies from pp who were abusers and it really makes me be on guard more- because you just don't know.

Anyways, I'm curious how you feel about the issue.
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Old 12-18-2006, 09:53 AM   #2
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Re: How do you feel about...

I don't worry about the gender of the person caring for children so much as I worry about their personality and caring nature. I know some very genuinely caring males that I have no worries about leaving my fosterbabies or my own children when they were little with. I have a friend whose hubby is absolutely wonderful with children of all ages, he is a teacher, started in elem ed many years ago and this year moved to high school and he is great with all of them. He babysat my kids when they were little and he has cared for many of my fosterbabies-he only has trouble if he has to mix formula cuz he is really pro BF so his 3 kids have never had formula, so I just have to make sure the bottles are fixed for him. I also have seen many males interact with children in many different avenues and I love seeing a nurturing male with groups of children cuz it is mostly moms that work with groups. My hubby goes on all the field trips with the kids from Kindergarten on cuz I personally relate better to babies-preschoolers and school age kids just get on my last nerve. The teachers loved having a dad cuz then the boys had a male to help in bathroom breaks etc while at a public place. I think it would be great for your hubby to volunteer if it is something he wants to do-my hubby prefers the school age kids so you will NEVER find him volunmteering in the nursery for anything at all. Oh and my oldest son's first sitter was a male, he was 18mths old and I had to finish one last college class to graduate and it was only offered during the day, a male friend of ours worked evenings so he was available for my 2 hr class 2 days a week, so he took care of him for me and he was great!
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:01 AM   #3
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Re: How do you feel about...

Our favorite babysitter is a teenage boy. He does an awesome job with the kids,he's very trustworthy and is just a super sweet kid

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Old 12-18-2006, 10:31 AM   #4
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Re: How do you feel about...

DH has taught sunday school at our old church for 3-4 year olds and 3rd graders but as a male he was never alone with the children. He's SUPER AWESOME with children but he has felt some weird vibes (in general) b/c of ppls perceptions and conversations overheard.

I totally understand looking at the personality and general nature of a person, but I must admit I'm more likely to put a blanket no out there for a male to watch DD. Perhaps it might have more to do with my own experiences but either way, I tend to feel uncomfortable about males watching children.

I believe that men should volunteer for field trips, outings etc. with children b/c children need postitive role models and unfortunetly many don't have enough or any at all.
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:45 AM   #5
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Re: How do you feel about...

I am generally more comfortable with women, just because of those "motherly" instincts. Emily's sunday school teacher last year was a man and he was great. We've never had a male sitter (we rarely have a sitter at all) but if it was someone we knew well and I completely trusted, I wouldn't hesitate to leave them with a man.
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Old 12-18-2006, 10:53 AM   #6
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I'd like to say I don't have a problem with it, but the more I think about it the less I like the idea of it.

Funny because I don't have a problem with Male teachers, and teachers are part "babysitter". (not insulting Teachers in any way, just saying they are the only ones in the room with 20+ kids all day long.

I wish you good luck him good luck in the daycare!
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Old 12-18-2006, 03:08 PM   #7
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Re: How do you feel about...

It really depends on the male in question. I don't really know how I'd feel about a male being our church nursery person, dh & I would have to talk about it if it came up. I've had friends' dh's watch my kids and stuff. There was a time when I used to go to the gym ( HAHA!) and a guy I went to high school with who was a HUGE POT HEAD among other things, was working in their daycare! WHY? There were like a TON of girls who worked there, why put a male in there?? I personally don't THINK he would ever molest a child but sadly, in today's world, you can never be 100% sure! I suspect that a man who was like an uncle to me for MANY YEARS is involved in the child sex slave industry in Asia. He's taken many trips to Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc. and for no appearant reason. No family or friends, just to vacation. He hasn't been married in over 25yrs, and married an 18yo when he was married. He always pays special attention to younger girls. He never molested me or touched me innapropriatly but I wouldn't be 1 bit surprised if he's molested other children. As a parent I now watch people's actions around children, their mannerisms and to tell you the truth, I don't even trust my FIL alone with my DS'. Especially my 4yo who he is just glued to when he comes over.
Anyway, I went way off on a tangent there but honestly, I probably wouldn't feel comfy with it. If I knew the male it would be different, I would consider it more but I don't know about a stranger.
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Old 12-18-2006, 04:33 PM   #8
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I agree that it depends on the who it is. So far, the only person who has ever babysat Bram is my sister. (She was 17 the first time she watched him, she's 19 now.) I wouldn't let any other teenager at all watch him though. My sister has very good motherly instincts. Probably the only male that I KNOW that I would trust him with is my friend's DF. He's alone with their DD often because she works and he often watches another little boy too so he knows what he's doing. But its not really about male or female for me. Honestly, to assume that males in general aren't to be left alone with children is kind of creepy.... no offense or anything, that's just how I feel about it.
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Old 12-18-2006, 05:38 PM   #9
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Re: How do you feel about...

If hes good, than IMO it doesnt matter I would leave ds with my younger brother or dh brother with no problem at all if needed (and we lived closer to them) My dad and a couple of my uncles/cousins would also be ok...I guess it really depends on the guy and how well I know him, same way if it was a female.
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Old 12-18-2006, 05:56 PM   #10
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I wouldn't have a problem with him being male personally but dd wouldn't go into a nursery with a male in there. One week in our nursery there was supposed to be a husband and wife but the wife wasn't feeling well so didn't come. DD refused to even walk in the nursery that week and she loves to go in there normally.
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