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Old 05-18-2010, 05:04 AM   #1
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How to handle this?

i have a 19-year-old babysitter who I really like. She babysat for my two little ones yesterday morning. My 14-year-old stepson was also at home yesterday, as there was no school. My sitter brought her 9-year-old brother along, as he had the day off school as well. My stepson and the brother spent the morning playing together. Last night my stepson came to me and said that there is $10 missing from a drawer in his room. He assured me it was there, and that he didn't spend it or misplace it. The only people in his room yesterday were 3-year-old DD and the sitter's brother. I told DSS we would handle this today, but I'm not sure what to do. Call the sitter? Call her mom? Make DSS take care of it on his own? I don't want to falsely accuse anyone of anything. I will make DSS scour his room again, in case it got misplaced, but then what? Chalk it up as a life lesson? What would you do in this situation?
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:14 AM   #2
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Re: How to handle this?

Hmm...that is a tough one. I would have him search his room again. As long as you trust him, if it is missing, I would ask the sitter about it. Explain the situation and have her talk to her brother about it.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:20 AM   #3
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Re: How to handle this?

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Chalk it up as a life lesson?
Yep. Pretty much.

No one saw the kid take the money and there isn't a good way to approach the subject. Like if the money was sitting out in the open on top of the dresser say, then you might be able to ask if anyone saw the money. But since it was "hidden" inside a drawer and not in plain sight, any question will seem like an accusation.

Give DSS $10 and in the future, DSS (and anyone else) should be sure that guests stay in the public areas of the house.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:21 AM   #4
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Re: How to handle this?

Was the brother in there alone at all? That is tough...I can't imagine being in your situation - good luck!
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:48 AM   #5
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Re: How to handle this?

How much time did the 9yo spend alone in his room that he would have had time to rifle through things? My boys are always insisting things are in places that they are not, they'd bet their lives on it yet, the item will be found elsewhere and this has happened with $ a lot as well.
Even if you ask the boy if he took it, what's he going to say? You can't prove he did it and did he really have the opportunity? I can see if maybe it was sitting out in the open but hidden away in a drawer?
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:17 AM   #6
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Re: How to handle this?

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Originally Posted by jabmmt View Post
How much time did the 9yo spend alone in his room that he would have had time to rifle through things? My boys are always insisting things are in places that they are not, they'd bet their lives on it yet, the item will be found elsewhere and this has happened with $ a lot as well.
Even if you ask the boy if he took it, what's he going to say? You can't prove he did it and did he really have the opportunity? I can see if maybe it was sitting out in the open but hidden away in a drawer?

We would tend to agree with this. We've had things turn up missing for months after something like a slumber party, but somehow they're always found.
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Old 05-18-2010, 07:29 AM   #7
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Re: How to handle this?

I would also just chalk it up to a lesson learned. I would hate to falsely accuse anyone, especially since there is no solid proof.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:49 AM   #8
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Re: How to handle this?

i'd let it go for sure, have your son ck his room again and just learn that he needs to kep $ in a very safe place, i think it's just the way to go on this one, my opinion
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:53 AM   #9
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Re: How to handle this?

I'd probably say chalk it up as a life lesson too. although thats frustrating as all get out , the results in the end wont be worth the 10 dollars possible. with you liking your sitter it could cause hard feelings that are unwarranted or maybe warranted. its next to impossible to get money back after its been taken and the possible suspect has left. my daughter just went thru this but her situation was reveresed. she was teh baby sitter and one of the children she was sittting with took it ( so she believes) but theres no way for her to prove it , she waited til 2 days later and by that time the money was either never taken or long gone. its unfair to your dss to have to lock his room down worrying about having his things taken in his own home , but unfortunately seems to be the way life goes sometimes.
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Old 05-19-2010, 02:58 PM   #10
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Re: How to handle this?

chalk it up to a life lesson. I have a horrible experience kinda like this one and lost a very close friend over it. We had friends over for thanksgiving and after dinner the kids piled into my bed so they could watch a movie. well DH's mom had sent him a 100 dollar bill and it was on the dresser. the only kids in there were 2 toddlers and my friends 9 yr old son. it went missing and we approached them about it and the dad was PISSED and never let his wife talk to us again. the toddlers could not have reached and we have since moved and never found it. She has since divorced him and I honestly think the dad did it cuz he is a total JACK!
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