Diaper Swappers

WhiteRockMom · 05-31-2010, 05:20 PM

I have NO mommy friends in real life. It kinda stinks.

A while back, when DD was 8 months-ish (so ten months ago) I tried reaching out to my ex boyfriend's wife who had a baby about 6 months younger than DD. Is that weird?

It wasnt as awkward as you might think. We're all grown ups and have moved on.

Anywho, she invited me to a lunch that she was doing once a week with some other mommy friends, they alternated houses each week. I went to two and we had a good time. I hosted one, it went well. DD was the oldest kid in the group and stole pacies but wasnt too much of a 'threat' to the littler less mobile babies.

I invited them to DDs first birthday party in December, trying to keep in touch and hoping to built on what I thought were new friendships... three of the four families said yes and slowly one by one let me know they wouldnt be able to make it. Thats fine, DDs bday is right before Christmas and I know it can be busy.

I let Christmas pass and thought I would host another playdate, again trying to keep communication/interaction up. It went well. We all had fun. DD fed some cheerios to the little boy closest to her age, very cute. Someone mentioned we should do it again and that they would host but I never heard anything.

Two of the babies have had first birthday's and parties that we werent invited to. I hear about them and saw pictures on facebook. We have alot of mutual friends so we always end up seeing each other at get togethers.

It makes me feel like crap that we havent been in touch since just after Christmas. I feel like I did something to offend them or that they just plain dont like me or DD. Ugh. I feel SO childish!! But it REALLY bugs me and makes me sad.

I dont know why its so freakin' hard to make and keep friends.

I guess seeing the pictures on Facebook was just a reminder that I dont have many IRL friends or ANY mommy friends.

Ugh... thats all. I just had to get it out of my system. Thanks for reading.

airmans_angel · 05-31-2010, 05:27 PM

:hugs

Dean7698 · 05-31-2010, 05:29 PM

amelia222 · 05-31-2010, 05:36 PM

I know how it is having no mommy friends. Is there a library near you with baby story time? That's how I met the few friends I do have.

My Aunt lives in White Rock and I'm out in Mission, so not too far, the drive is only about 30-40 minutes when it's not rush hour. I've been planning on going out to visit her one day in the next few weeks. We could meet up at the beach sometime when this rain stops

mrsallary · 05-31-2010, 06:29 PM

Mama! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I think I have one IRL friend and she is also my mw....is that sad? I really have NO ONE to talk to because even though I have DH, I can't talk to him about everything because it stresses him out, that and the fact that my step-daughter is still here and eavesdrops on EVERY conversation we have so it's nearly impossible to talk to him.

My step-daughter is leaving on Friday and frankly, I am soooo glad (don't get me wrong, I love her but it's a super-complicated situation and she's basically making life a living hell).

Back to the point....I have no real friends, let alone any mommy friends. I go to La Leche League and I talk to the mama's there but I would consider them nothing more than acquaintances (sp?). We also go to church and really no one talks to us there either; it's so sad and I feel so alone 99% of the time.

I spend a lot of time on DS because I think the mama's here are a lot nicer than any I know IRL; I would even consider a few of the mama's here "friends". I think DH gets frustrated at me because I do spend a lot of time online but I get along better with people online than IRL.

I am soooo sorry you are feeling bad about your limited friends. I appreciate your hormonal rant though, because it lets me know I'm not alone.

Feel better mama

jessesgirl · 05-31-2010, 06:42 PM

I TOTALLY understand!

i don't have ANY IRL friends...but my cyber friends!

I'm sorry...

ctj101502 · 05-31-2010, 07:32 PM

Oh mamma! I bet you didn't do anything wrong. It's difficult for people to make new friends on a deeper level when your already set in the friends group you have.

While reading your story I realized there are moms that have tried engaging with me and my friends, I enjoy them greatly, their kids are great, i just kinda forget about them when they aren't there. I have selfishly become so comfortable in my group that I have forgotten to expand. I invite and accept people very easily, but I assume once they have attended the group, they can make themselves known and a part of things. Not realizing that they still aren't comfortable just going out and being in the group when ever they feel like it.

Keep working on it, also look into other groups of moms or form your own by being somewhere and becoming friendly with those around you! You really shouldn't have more than 5 REALLY good friends that you go to anyways!! More than that they are aquantinces, its too hard to be a really good friend to more than that!

dragondance · 05-31-2010, 08:03 PM

My mommy friend just moved to Cali. That's hard stuff.

Zpatrol · 05-31-2010, 08:59 PM

Right there with you. We recently moved and I left all my mommy friends behind. I looked at your Avi to see where you were but you're too far from me.

Wishing lots of mommy-friends for you in the near future.

Malakaiii · 05-31-2010, 10:07 PM

I know how you feel! I've always had a hard time finding and keeping female friends. I am so lucky to have one close friend right now, and I've known her since elementary school (we both moved around a lot before buying houses 20 minutes away from each other and reconnecting after years had passed). I was hoping that being a mom would help me to find other mom friends, but I still feel just as awkward and socially stuck as I always have.

So not much advice from me, but lots and lots of empathy.

05-31-2010, 05:20 PM	#1
WhiteRockMom Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: N Pender Island, BC Canada Posts: 1,724 Ratings: 39 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Childish and possibly hormonally induced rant... sigh I have NO mommy friends in real life. It kinda stinks. A while back, when DD was 8 months-ish (so ten months ago) I tried reaching out to my ex boyfriend's wife who had a baby about 6 months younger than DD. Is that weird? It wasnt as awkward as you might think. We're all grown ups and have moved on. Anywho, she invited me to a lunch that she was doing once a week with some other mommy friends, they alternated houses each week. I went to two and we had a good time. I hosted one, it went well. DD was the oldest kid in the group and stole pacies but wasnt too much of a 'threat' to the littler less mobile babies. I invited them to DDs first birthday party in December, trying to keep in touch and hoping to built on what I thought were new friendships... three of the four families said yes and slowly one by one let me know they wouldnt be able to make it. Thats fine, DDs bday is right before Christmas and I know it can be busy. I let Christmas pass and thought I would host another playdate, again trying to keep communication/interaction up. It went well. We all had fun. DD fed some cheerios to the little boy closest to her age, very cute. Someone mentioned we should do it again and that they would host but I never heard anything. Two of the babies have had first birthday's and parties that we werent invited to. I hear about them and saw pictures on facebook. We have alot of mutual friends so we always end up seeing each other at get togethers. It makes me feel like crap that we havent been in touch since just after Christmas. I feel like I did something to offend them or that they just plain dont like me or DD. Ugh. I feel SO childish!! But it REALLY bugs me and makes me sad. I dont know why its so freakin' hard to make and keep friends. I guess seeing the pictures on Facebook was just a reminder that I dont have many IRL friends or ANY mommy friends. Ugh... thats all. I just had to get it out of my system. Thanks for reading. __________________ ~ Kelly ~ Married to my best friendJan 20 2007 ~ ~ Mama to Abigail Sophia Dec 18 2008 & Duncan Alexander Sept 24 2010 ~ ~ SAHM With USA PO for Shipping ~

05-31-2010, 05:27 PM	#2
airmans_angel Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 563 Ratings: 11 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Childish and possibly hormonally induced rant... sigh :hugs

05-31-2010, 05:29 PM	#3
Dean7698 Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Southeast Michigan Posts: 3,237 Ratings: 154 Feedback: 100%	Re: Childish and possibly hormonally induced rant... sigh __________________ Sarah Wife to Patrick,Mama to DD #1 12/14/2001,DD #2 08/04/2003,DD #3 12/28/2008, and DD #4 October 10,2010

05-31-2010, 05:36 PM	#4
amelia222 Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Mission BC CANADA Posts: 848 Ratings: 17 Feedback: 100%	Re: Childish and possibly hormonally induced rant... sigh I know how it is having no mommy friends. Is there a library near you with baby story time? That's how I met the few friends I do have. My Aunt lives in White Rock and I'm out in Mission, so not too far, the drive is only about 30-40 minutes when it's not rush hour. I've been planning on going out to visit her one day in the next few weeks. We could meet up at the beach sometime when this rain stops __________________ Amelia CPST co-sleeping, toddler-wearing, CD'ing, delayed/selective vax'ing, ERF'ing mama to Alice 05/13/09

05-31-2010, 06:29 PM	#5
mrsallary Registered Users Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Porterville, CA Posts: 3,848 Ratings: 95 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Childish and possibly hormonally induced rant... sigh Mama! I know EXACTLY how you feel. I think I have one IRL friend and she is also my mw....is that sad? I really have NO ONE to talk to because even though I have DH, I can't talk to him about everything because it stresses him out, that and the fact that my step-daughter is still here and eavesdrops on EVERY conversation we have so it's nearly impossible to talk to him. My step-daughter is leaving on Friday and frankly, I am soooo glad (don't get me wrong, I love her but it's a super-complicated situation and she's basically making life a living hell). Back to the point....I have no real friends, let alone any mommy friends. I go to La Leche League and I talk to the mama's there but I would consider them nothing more than acquaintances (sp?). We also go to church and really no one talks to us there either; it's so sad and I feel so alone 99% of the time. I spend a lot of time on DS because I think the mama's here are a lot nicer than any I know IRL; I would even consider a few of the mama's here "friends". I think DH gets frustrated at me because I do spend a lot of time online but I get along better with people online than IRL. I am soooo sorry you are feeling bad about your limited friends. I appreciate your hormonal rant though, because it lets me know I'm not alone. Feel better mama __________________ Christina, wife to DH Anthony and WAHM to Angelo Sahale (11/9/08) and Athena Desarae (9/25/10). Licensed for MANY popular patterns \| WAHM Wares \| "Like" me on facebook \| Ravelry \| Knits Gallery.