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Old 04-13-2010, 04:06 PM   #12
Ami in Deutschland's Avatar
Ami in Deutschland
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Germany
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Re: You know all those things that "baby trainers" acuse babies of...

This seems to be unruly 3 year-old night. Or maybe I'm just reading all the posts that are relevant to me. The scene you describe at the breakfast table is soooo familiar. I've been feeling like you do, that DS just wants to make me "dance." But I realize that he can't make me dance. I have given him that power and I can take it away by trying to meet the need behind the constant stream of requests instead of fulfilling demand after demand.

I've decided to go back to my copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk and really DO each section, one week at a time. This week it's helping your child deal with feelings.

At the same time, I'm going to apply the idea from Barbara Colorosso(?) not to repeat a request more than once. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. I tried it this morning- no nagging DS to get dressed. Just asked him once and reminded him each time he wanted to go downstairs that he wasn't ready yet. This kid NEVER gets ready on his own when you ask him, so I was really impressed with how effective it was to stop nagging. He put on his shirt by himself and had his pants on but unzipped when he called me for help.
Sometimes I think his constant stream of demands is really just a reflection of my constant stream of demands on him. So stop the nagging and maybe the crying over toast will end too.
Little Bear almost 3 years old and Baby Bear 15 Months
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