if you're going to have them on a leash...

[Kimmyann]

Just my thought but since this was an older woman with the kids maybe they were her grandkids and she was there with the kids watching her own child graduate?

[jessesgirl]

Originally Posted by Kimmyann Just my thought but since this was an older woman with the kids maybe they were her grandkids and she was there with the kids watching her own child graduate?

If that was the case, at least in my world, you'd think she'd have been even more compassionate. If my DS stubs his toe or something, I check on him, brush it off, kiss it and we move on. If he stubs it in front of my mom, she picks him up, loves him, wipes his tears, kisses him all over...and carries him so it doesn't happen again. My husband's momma is the same way. I think, for the most part, grandparents are MORE compassionate to their grandkids and their hurts. If these girls were truly jerking and falling and hitting their faces, as a grandma, she would almost have to have done something! JMHO.

[mcpforever]

Originally Posted by frenchie Gidge doesn't do the wiggle thing in my arms, she throws her body straight backwards. It totally wrenches my back. Believe me, I gave it a good "college try". This was just the one battle I decided I wasn't going to try to win. I found a compromise that keeps her safe, and my mind at ease. She's walking beside me a lot more, rather than pulling me where she wants to go. She's getting older, maturing a bit, and gaining more understanding...but she's still a willful little booger. I do hope to retire the little puppy before she turns 4...IDK, she has a great affection for it. She often puts it on herself to wear around the house.

I hope I didn't come across as implying that you just didn't "try hard enough." That was SO not my intent. My point was that I tried that method to encourage DS2 to hold hands for moooooooonths (I think it was close to 9 months) and he didn't do it until it was on his terms. And even now you must present him with your index and middle finger at a certain angle. Some kids just follow your lead while others just defy every method you try!

[nalazimbala]

Originally Posted by crunch!910 , those leashes are just a crutch to not teach the child good behavior it seems

i always hated those things until I had kids. I did recently pick up a backpack at a yardsale for $0.50 (I wouldn't have paid much more than that). And I actually used it for the first time yesterday. I went to the farmer's market downtown with DD and DS. DD is, for the most part, very good about staying right with me, but it did make me feel a little better to have the added security in a busy setting like that where I knew I would be having to turn my attention away several times while paying for items. It's not something I would use often, but for situations like that, it could be handy if not for keeping her from wandering off, for detering someone else from walking off with her (my child has never met a stranger which I love and hate). And yes, it is possible to do it without one, but it did make it a little easier, so what is the harm in that?

[frenchie]

Originally Posted by mcpforever I hope I didn't come across as implying that you just didn't "try hard enough." That was SO not my intent. My point was that I tried that method to encourage DS2 to hold hands for moooooooonths (I think it was close to 9 months) and he didn't do it until it was on his terms. And even now you must present him with your index and middle finger at a certain angle. Some kids just follow your lead while others just defy every method you try!

Thank you I didn't get that impression, I was just responding with my thoughts on your response.

[benjaminsmom]

Originally Posted by Computermama When I was 12-14 I used to babysit for several families. One of which was a family with 2 little boys. The oldest was 3, the youngest was 18mos. The oldest was a very well behaved child, when I took him walking he stayed near me, holding hands or even just walking beside me. His parents did a great job of getting both boys to listen well. One Saturday I got a horrible call. While the youngest was napping, mom took the oldest for a walk. She was heavily pregnant, and was taking him for a special big boy treat at the corner store. They were walking next to a busy street, but it was a big city, so he was used to that. The three year old, normally well behaved suddenly wriggled free of his mother's hand and ran out into the road to get something that he saw on the median, and was hit by a car. He didn't survive. He might be in or graduating college right now if his mother had a harness on him. DD has a harness. I use it with her, more when we're going to be walking near cars than in stores or other functions, but it has it's place there too. She is a well behaved child, and I generally have no issues getting her to stay close. I keep her on the far side of me away from traffic, with the loop of the harness on my wrist, and usually holding her hand. If she starts to pull at it, I stop her and get down on her level to find out what the problem is. If she's unruly I find a way to fix the problem. It's yet another tool to teach the child to stay close, and a safety tool. Choose not to use them all you like, but don't get down on parents who use them responsibly. No toddler listens all the time, and it only takes once to spell disaster.

I totally agree! I think of it as an extra line of defense. Kind of like the difference between a seatbelt/booster and a 5 point harness. We did use one for a short time in certain situations where we felt it was required. I figure if it isn't hurting the child (from being dragged or other reasons) then let the parent do what they think they need to do. I am sure they have their reasons whether it is because the child is unruly, they are scared of what could happen if the child or them is distracted for a second,or worried about their abilities to chase after or even hold the hand of the child. (they may have arthritis or some other disorder that makes that difficult) It is a matter of what you feel comfortable with as a parent because only you know the whole situation and your child. =)

[crunch!910]

computermama, I never once got down on any single person that uses leashes responsibly. I was "getting down" on people that use it as a crutch to not communicate with and teach their child.

[Kirsie]

Originally Posted by slingmama4 Wow! It really amazes me when people start off on the whole judgmental thing.....Does having an opinion always make someone "judgmental?" Because if that is so, then I believe every person on this entire board is judgmental unless you’re dead. I think ppl use that phrase to try and get a person to shut up about their opinions when they are not the most popular. The OP shared her opinions and I shared mine (and so did everyone else on this thread), no matter how unpopular. All I see is a lot of bulling being done on this thread. "Multiple ppl saying to the OP, "You don't know what you’re talking about because you only have a 1yr old, etc..,” Yes, we learn a lot through parenting our LO's as they grow and as we have more children. Does that mean that because I have 5 LO's I'm the parenting guru over all that have less than me or how about I know more over all those who have younger than 12? Ridiculous. Before I even had children, I could have seen the OP situation and made the assumption that the two children needed discipline or redirection, so that they wouldn't continue to hurt themselves. I believe that the OP simply saw a sad situation where a mother was using no disciple/parenting restraint with her children, other than the leash, and it bothered her. I'm sure whether you agreed with the concept of a leash or not, if you saw the same situation you'd "cast judgment" because you'd feel sad for the two LO's who were running and slamming their heads to the floor without any reaction/guidance from mom to stop.... Just enjoying her evening w/o parenting. I'm not going to argue with the ludicrous comment about me having perfect children or perfect parenting, since I've already explained in a pp that I do not. I believe those type of comments are a type of bullying. I simply stated my opinion which I feel strongly about since in 99% of situations I've seen the leash is misused. No one is arguing that your kid getting hit by a car would be better than using a leash as a back up safety device. Horrible accidental events happen daily to children. I know of a child who got hit by a car because the car accidentally ran up on the curb and hit him while he was riding his bicycle. Does that mean we don’t ride bikes anymore out of our driveway? No, we take precautions and try and live our lives as safe as possible. For me, that does not include a leash and never will. For you, it may require using a leash as a back up, but if that is your style parenting and you are using it as a extra safety measure, then I doubt you'd be allowing your LO's to run a round like wild dogs as the OP described. My problem is adults with consistently wild children with or with out a leash attached. So, in a nutshell, Yes, I do believe if you choose to never discipline you child and let them rule and run all over you (like it sounds in the OP's story), then that child has a very high likely that he will have a difficult time obeying laws as an adult because he has been taught that rules don't matter. Take it as you will, but that is what I believe. There is no magical age where a child stops being a wild animal rebuking authority and starts being a good citizen willing to follow authority. It has to be taught.

That's how I read it too. I don't use one of those leases but I don't think there is anything wrong with them. However, I think that they are being used improperly by the way the op sounds. Although, I understand they are to be used as a tether- not a slingshot for children, but I could be wrong . I do wonder if I have the qualifications to have an opinion though? Does the fact that I have a 6 year old with *ahem* distraction issues count? Or do I need to pick up some religious affiliations... or at least put one in my signature? I'm so confused.

[waited4ever]

Wow this has been one heck of a thread. I have not gotten to the point and wont for several years to have a child of age to put the on a harness or not. I do think it depends on the child and circumstance.

As for Slingmama4 you seam a bit overbearing with your opinion on this subject. Maybe that was not your intent...that being said there were a lot of things in your posts that many could and did find offensive...and blanketed statement or not the proper word for a lot of it seamed judgmental and even condescending at times. I just thought it was kind of ridiculous that you would find others to be judging you when that is what you put out there to everyone else, even to the point of questioning a PP about what they would have done had they not had the harness...really that was none of your business. Of course this to is my opinion.