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Old 05-13-2010, 09:57 PM   #91
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Originally Posted by countrymomto3 View Post
So I was at the Grocery store with my two kids. One is 3 and the other is two. They are a handful, I even hate grocery shopping, but it has to be done. I am also 29 weeks pregnant and I am pretty small so my belly is very noticable. I am 24 so I am not sure if my age has anything to do with it.

So anyways I am standing in the check out line. This lady started talking to my 2 yr old boy. He hates strangers and made this ugly face that he always makes to everyone. I kept on putting my stuff on the belt. She then pulls out a card (for a local church). She says I see that your not married and you have your hands full directing towards my belly. She says my kids could learn patience in the church and God would forgive me if I asked him.

I froze. what????? I am usually a nice person. I believe in respecting my elders. I said there 2 and 3 years old. How much patience do you expect them to have and that I am happily married but cannot wear my wedding rings due to my fingers being so swollen. The cashier told me the total and I handed her my debit card and she said oh I thought you were paying with foodstamps ( I wanted to fall through the floor) by this time I was pissed. The cashier in the next line must have heard it all because she said just because she has 3 kids does not mean she is paying with foodstamps. I grabbed my slip and thanked her and walked out.

I could not believe the nerve of these people. I will not ever go to that grocery store again and I actually teared up in the car. Dang hormones


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Old 05-13-2010, 09:58 PM   #92
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Originally Posted by Esthersmommy View Post
I'm so sorry that happened Mama :-(

I had a similar experience last week, I'm also 24, have a 1 year old, just turned 4 year old and one on the way, and have been happily married for over 5 years.

My kids were being noisy - happy noisy, but noisy all the same and I guess that ticked off the check out lady. She was very rude to me all the time, but nice as pie to the other customers before and after me.

Anyhow, we do have foodstamps temporarily, since DH is in grad school, working on ordination, working as a bi-vocational pastor and working 40 hours a week as a manager at a homeless shelter. We are poor, but we live, what I feel is a serving life style, and this is just a stage in our lives.

Anyhow, she announced really loud "That will be 35.96 on foodstamps"

I was so embarrassed, everyone was looking at me and I felt so judged by all these people. But I just kept smiling with tears in my eyes.

I spoke to a manager about it, and he was sooooo understanding, and very respectful.
Wow, so sorry that happened to you

Originally Posted by momma4of6 View Post
trust me she doesnt speak for the church, or for Christ....As the "church" we need to be here and love, help, support and feed the ones in need...not make them feel worse about their situations...I agree if the op was a single mom, and on food, it would have just been horrible to have been talked that way too
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:16 PM   #93
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Call the store and speak to a manager. That cashier should be disciplined so she doesn't do that to another mama. even if you weren't married and were paying with stamps, she should mind her own business.

As for a church invitation--that would be the quickest way for me to stay away from a church that counsels members to behave that way!!
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:43 PM   #94
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Some people just don't know when to keep their mouth shut. Don't let their comments get to you.
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Old 05-14-2010, 08:04 AM   #95
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

that is awful!
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Old 05-14-2010, 08:41 AM   #96
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Re: why can't people mind there own buisness? You do not know me!

Originally Posted by bean3 View Post
I'm really sorry that happened to you. I would be livid, hormones or not.

I had a mom at skating start talking to me about going to her church (her daughter and mine are the same age). She tried to convince me this was a great place because of the light shows they have during the services (no thank you, my migraines explode with strobing lights). Then she starts telling me about how she should have my daughter over for a play date, but then that went into an entire religious conversation about teaching them to be chaste, something about the ultimate gift (virginity) and that dating is ONLY to be done with the intent of marriage. She even said that dating was setting your child up to a failed marriage because they see that there is a beginning and an end to every relationship and expect that all will end, including their marriage. I don't feel that way. I feel that dating (not sleeping around, just actual dating) helps you to develop an idea of the types of personalities you work well with (and those you don't) and is a healthy part of the path to eventual marriage.

It was just really off-putting, to the point where we are pleasant to each other but definitely not friendly. I certainly would not let my child over there. It sounds like she would have her in some sort of a freak cleansing ritual or something if she ever had a play date.

Why do people have to do that? I'm not pregnant and I was still livid, and I'm livid for you, so it is definitely not your hormones.
hmmm, did this lady have a son-sounds like she was trying to set up an arranged marriage with your family In HS I liked a guy who could only 'court' (though we went to the same church and it definitely wasn't a thing the church pushed!) and our relationship fizzled fast because it was such a hassle-he wasn't allowed to talk on the phone with girls, his parents had to be with him if he talked to a girl in person etc. He's now happily married with three kids and lives in his parents basement
To OP-that was totally uncalled for both of their comments and I would have talked to the manager about the food stamp comment-very unprofessional of the clerk! I always wonder what people think of me when I get groceries with all three kids-its not a pretty sight to say the least LOL!

Last edited by myfrugalfunlife; 05-14-2010 at 08:42 AM.
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