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Old 05-18-2010, 11:58 AM   #61
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

Our girls are 3 & 1, but I think when they are teenagers, the answer is no. When Ava was a baby, she wore the cute little bikinis. However, I changed my mind about it between her & Faith. I had to ask myself "Why was it cute?" Honestly, it was cute to see all the chub hanging out all over, but it definitely wasn't modest! So anyway, they both wear one pieces now. I would do tankinis without a problem, but I don't know if they would stay put - Ava is NEVER still, especially in the pool, & without hips & boobs to make the bottoms stay up/tops stay down, I think she would probably be just as uncovered as she would in a bikini.
We live in FL, where pretty much everyone wears bikinis. I did for a long time, and really thought I was hot stuff. I thought it was cute & flirty to make the guys look at me. I didn't have any idea how men really think - to me, I was being cute & maybe a little sexy, but to them, I was probably being provocative. Now I wear tankinis out to the beach or pool, especially if there will be men there. If I go to the pool with girlfriends, I feel ok wearing a bikini.
Eventually, we will put a pool in our backyard. I think our rule will be that bikinis are ok in the backyard with girls only, but tankinis for anything else. It might be hard to enforce, though, because I know how sneaky teenagers can be, leaving the house with one thing & changing into another somewhere else.
I guess time will tell!

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Old 05-18-2010, 09:51 PM   #62
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

i want dd to feel comfortable in her own skin while still being somewhat modest and definitely not trashy.

that being said, yes i will let her wear a bikini. there are some fairly nice styles out there that cover what needs to be covered without being too revealing. she will not be allowed to wear string bikinis, thongs, something that is too small, etc.

i've seen my fair share of one pieces that i've thought were MUCH more revealing and trashier than a nice bikini (ie - the bathing suit my MIL decided to wear this weekend with her boyfriend in tow. ugh. DH and i were speechless and she got insulted when we didn't compliment her. all i could say is "well, you certainly don't look like a grandma!").

as of now, i don't like to put her in bikinis. i don't like making little girls look like grown women (i also have issues with a lot of flower girl dresses because of this) and i like the sun protection a one piece gives her. plus all the bikinis she's gotten as gifts have been, well trashy. (i didn't think you could make trashy infant clothes, but apparently you can). they're from my MIL. can you tell we're going to have conflicts over how i'm raising my child?
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Old 05-18-2010, 11:47 PM   #63
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

Off topic, but it has to be said! Has anyone else noticed on the shopping results on the right sidebar are all for things with names like "Sexy Hot Pink Skimpy Micro Bikini"?
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Old 05-19-2010, 05:08 AM   #64
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

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i loooooove these posts!! totally agree



i say no to teens, pre-teens, and children wearing bikinis (boys AND girls, for that matter ) you have to understand the difference is, most men who are attracted to children are attracted to pre-teens. typically they're not physically attracted to young toddlers, for instance wearing bikinis. (i could go into details more, but i'd rather not). but either way modesty is modesty despite their age. if you have a rule for no bikinis when they're teens, then they shouldn't be allowed to wear them when they're young, either! as for boys, running around shirtless is a different issues, because they're chests aren't an obvious sexual body part, like what gets shown off when a female will wear a bikini.

**keep in mind, when i say bikini i mean bikini, a tankini is different because it doens't show off the stomach**
But to some women, a man's chest is just as sexual and a turn on as a woman's is to some men. Other than the fact that women can breastfeed and their breasts are often larger, what's the *real* difference between a man's chest and a woman's?

And I have to disagree that a woman's breasts get shown off while wearing a bikini. Yes there are *some* bikini's that are comprised of hardly any material that do show off the majority of a woman's breasts, but the many of them cover up the entire breast. Bikini's typically show off the midriff more than anything. I mean, the only real difference between *most* bikini's and one pieces are the fact that the midriff is covered, not the chest.

FTR, I don't believe a man should have to cover up and I think a woman, or teen *if their family allows*, can wear an appropriate bikini without being considered a "sexual being". IMO we're attracted to who we're attracted to. Sure, seeing a bare midriff may cause some sexual thoughts to run through a person's mind, but there are plenty of other, modest, things that can invoke the same response, especially in pubescent kids. A hug between friends, a smile, a nice knee length skirt, the way a person's hair is done. Sex means different things to different people, and I do not think clothes are what makes a person decide to have sex. Having sexual thoughts is perfectly normal, as long as one does not act upon them in the wrong time, or with the wrong person. And most people can control their thoughts.

So, IMO, if you don't allow bikin's as a house rule, that's great, but it should be across the board. Babies/Toddlers should be covered just as much as teens and mom should be. The rule should be for everyone. I just don't necessarily agree with now allowing bikinis because a man *may* look at them sexually. That's all. But we're all entitled to our own thoughts, just pointing out a different view.
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Old 05-19-2010, 05:57 AM   #65
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

I completely believe a girl can be taught to respect her body and still wear a bikini.
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Old 05-20-2010, 12:15 AM   #66
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

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But to some women, a man's chest is just as sexual and a turn on as a woman's is to some men.
Amen sister! A man's chest/arms/stomach/back is by far the most physically attractive body part to myself and many of my friends, and very sexual. Humans are turned on by bare skin, and shirtless males are just as hot as shirtless females.

I grew up as a beach baby (Alabama's Gulf Coast, South Carolina's Atlantic, then Hawaii's Pacific) and bikinis were always the default for us. When we were young, it was because it was easier to take the bottoms off to use the bathroom. Then, we hit growth spurts and one-pieces fit weirdly. By the time everything evened out, we were teens. I've had everything from tankinis to itty bitty string bikinis. I'll do the same for my kids, I imagine. Growing up as a surf bum kid, I definitely don't find bikinis (even string ones) to be inappropriate.
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Old 05-20-2010, 09:00 AM   #67
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Re: do you let your teen girl wear a bikini in public?

I would not allow my preteen to wear a bikini, but she can wear a tankini. I would allow my teenage (15+) to wear a modest bikini (as in no brazilian ones that barely cover the bum and the small triangle tops).
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