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Old 05-21-2010, 10:33 AM   #11
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

Most schools have something called a Cease and Desist order that is enforceable in school (not through the police dept), but if the harrassment continues, it is evidence to be used in a school hearing or as evidence for the police. Your daughter did exactly the right thing, and I applaud her for standing up for herself. You have taught her well!

As a PS teacher, I would like to point out that this is not a PS issue. It is a school/societal/home issue regardless of the type of school. My niece was sexually harrassed in the very nice private Christian school she attended.


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Old 05-21-2010, 10:36 AM   #12
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

I had a similar situation happen to me in eighth grade. The difference was I never did anything about it. I was afraid my parents would make a big deal and draw attention to the situation, thereby making me even more of a target. Also, I didn't believe the kid would be punished at all (and I was probably right). Not handling that situation made it harder for me to say no when boys wanted to go further than I did (I was a virgin when DH and I got married, but there were things I did that I still regret). I convinced myself that it was no big deal.
That kid brought a gun to school one day with plans to do some serious damage. Thankfully, he was caught before he acted on his plans. But I always wonder what would have happened if he had gotten some help before, KWIM?
I would say you probably don't need to worry too much about her. She sounds like a kid who would come to you if she couldn't handle it herself. Watch for signs of being bullied in her behavior (sullen attitude, not eating or sleeping, or doing too much of either, etc.), but it sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders for taking care of herself here.
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Old 05-21-2010, 10:37 AM   #13
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

My principal was the one who suggested this and enforced it - it worked.
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:38 PM   #14
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

OP, I know schooling is a hard choice and we are facing our own obstacles as our older gets close to school age. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad and I hope that things work out for you and your daughter. It just makes me so frustrated for you to hear that she can't even go to school without these situations. It is just a shame that that is what our kids have to deal with these days. I am SURE she will benefit greatly from her years homeschooling and her close connection with you. We'd love an update once this is resolved.
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Old 05-21-2010, 01:45 PM   #15
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

first of all, i think you deserve some praise for your parenting your daughter in a way where she is bold and brave enough to know her rights and stand up for herself in such a way. when i was in the 7th grade a popular trouble maker always slapped me on the butt. we were walking back from the library and he kept sticking his book in my butt and was thrusting it the same way you described. i completely flipped and caused a big stink. i WAS NOT happy and WAS NOT allowing that to happen any longer. he got in a lot of trouble and the school to it as an opportunity to teach about what is correct and incorrect and sexual harrassment and such.

i hope everything turns out for the better and that all parties can learn from this. some girls where mad at me when he got in trouble, but within a month everyone had forgotten and there was no more issues.

the same guy apologized to me years later when i was a senior and thanked me for getting him in trouble, he said he probably would have ended up raping someone! i was so completely shocked by that one!
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Old 05-21-2010, 05:55 PM   #16
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

First off...way to go for your dd!!! She is nice and assertive and really standing up for herself which few kids will do. You should be so proud or her.

Second, I think that I would file a police report. Not that I would necessarily press charges but I would file a report. If something happens further or something happens worse to another young girl then I think that this would help them. That being said I do not know what the consequences of your dd filing a report would be.

Lastly, big hugs to you and your dd. I hope that this is taken care of in an appropriate way by the school but it would seriously surprise me since most schools turn their heads the other way with this issue.
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:14 PM   #17
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

If it were my 8th grade daughter I would be filing a police report with the school police ASAP. That is disgusting. The school will likely just slap his hand and he will do it again to another girl and just avoid yours or worse....they will all make fun of her for telling. My daughters are 12 and 13 and thankfully have not had to witness this yet.

There is NO way I would tolerate that at all. SO sorry this happened to your DD.
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Old 05-21-2010, 06:26 PM   #18
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Re: Sexual Harrassment in grade 8?!

It's awful that your daughter has to go through this If I were in your shoes I would almost wish to have a conference with this boy's parents just to be sure they are aware of my daughter's feelings. I have two boys so whom I homeschool but if the time comes that they must go to school I worry how they will behave.... I'm thinking of the sexual undercurrents in schools now and the knowledge and awareness that children have of sex at such a young age. Children are sexually active much younger than we were. Also their view on respect and proper flirting is skewed. Sex and harrassment is no big deal. I would just want to speak to the parents of course with the counselors present or principal or whoever from school in a very civilized manner to let them I am concerned for their son's future. What he did is not a nice thing and can lead him to worse behavior if they don't rectify it themselves. Sometimes parents are blind and think the system is picking on them or their child they turn into angry she-bears when their children are reprimanded by others...

Maybe if they knew it's not made up or imagined they would help this boy change his ways....

best of luck to you & you should be proud of your daughter for sticking to her ideals.
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