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Old 06-08-2010, 08:11 AM   #61
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

"My baby is allergic to my milk."

I had major problems with my first child. He was throwing up HUGE amounts and was loosing A LOT of weight. On top of that he refused to latch so it was all pump then bottle feed. We were going to all different people for the latching issue and they never helped, in fact it seemed they made the problem worse. After two weeks or so of ped's accusing me of not feeding ds (even though I kept feeding journals that showed how much he was getting fed) they asked me to put him on nutramagin and when he gained 1 lb in 24 hrs I believed the doc's when they said it was a 'breast milk' allergy. I now know it was probably allergy to something I was eating but I was pulling my hair out trying to find out the problem at the time and just never happened across the info. Sometimes people mean well but if the right info isn't there for them then they end up doing the wrong thing.

The best 'reason' I ever heard for not BF'ing was from a friend who told me she wasn't going to BF because her mother told her, and I quote, "sensitive nipples run in my family".

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Old 06-08-2010, 08:13 AM   #62
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

I have a few friends that won't, varying reasons, the most surprising to me are the "I don't want a kid hanging off my t!t all the time" comments.
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Old 06-08-2010, 08:49 AM   #63
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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This! It helped me tremendously with my 2nd son. We had a rough couple of first months. I used an SNS faithfully with donor milk and goats milk and was able to wean off of it. Sometimes it's all on how bad you really want something in the end.


Very sad. Just kind of another approach to detachment really. And also with that excuse, I'd be asking them how they even got pregnant if they "didn't like to be touched."
In the end, sometimes it is just excuses to not do what should be done.
my mom and i were talking about this last night - how in mainsteam society its like people want your child to be detatched from you from birth and be completely independant. its so sad. i mean, i will admit that i dont do ALL things AP (for the most part, my parents were very AP) i still cant believe how detached society wants infants to be.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:18 AM   #64
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellasundies View Post
"My baby is allergic to my milk."

I had major problems with my first child. He was throwing up HUGE amounts and was loosing A LOT of weight. On top of that he refused to latch so it was all pump then bottle feed. We were going to all different people for the latching issue and they never helped, in fact it seemed they made the problem worse. After two weeks or so of ped's accusing me of not feeding ds (even though I kept feeding journals that showed how much he was getting fed) they asked me to put him on nutramagin and when he gained 1 lb in 24 hrs I believed the doc's when they said it was a 'breast milk' allergy. I now know it was probably allergy to something I was eating but I was pulling my hair out trying to find out the problem at the time and just never happened across the info. Sometimes people mean well but if the right info isn't there for them then they end up doing the wrong thing.

The best 'reason' I ever heard for not BF'ing was from a friend who told me she wasn't going to BF because her mother told her, and I quote, "sensitive nipples run in my family".
good grief.
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my mom and i were talking about this last night - how in mainsteam society its like people want your child to be detatched from you from birth and be completely independant. its so sad. i mean, i will admit that i dont do ALL things AP (for the most part, my parents were very AP) i still cant believe how detached society wants infants to be.
Very true. It's one thing as a child grows to help foster independence, quite another though to expect them to be so self-sustaining from birth. I just never understood why people even have children only to push them away, and wonder why they aren't more "independent" than they are.
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Old 06-08-2010, 10:25 AM   #65
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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good grief.


Very true. It's one thing as a child grows to help foster independence, quite another though to expect them to be so self-sustaining from birth. I just never understood why people even have children only to push them away, and wonder why they aren't more "independent" than they are.
Yep, I must be a freak, cause I kind of like that the baby is still so dependent on me. I like that I am love, warmth, comfort, a bed, a playground, and kitchen for him. I know that it won't last forever. He'll soon be like the 3 yr old who calls, "Bye mama!" and refuses to give me a kiss good bye in front of his friends at "school" most days.
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:27 AM   #66
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Yep, I must be a freak, cause I kind of like that the baby is still so dependent on me. I like that I am love, warmth, comfort, a bed, a playground, and kitchen for him. I know that it won't last forever. He'll soon be like the 3 yr old who calls, "Bye mama!" and refuses to give me a kiss good bye in front of his friends at "school" most days.
YES!! This is so us exactly!!

Now my 3.5 y.o. says "I want to go to school" or do this or that...it's like getting blood out of a turnip to get a hug now! He's too busy! Makes me smile and cry at the same time! It really does pass so quickly and I know it can be tough in the midst of those sleepless nights but it really is worth it all!
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Old 06-08-2010, 11:49 AM   #67
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by stringbean02 View Post
my mom and i were talking about this last night - how in mainsteam society its like people want your child to be detatched from you from birth and be completely independant. its so sad. i mean, i will admit that i dont do ALL things AP (for the most part, my parents were very AP) i still cant believe how detached society wants infants to be.
ITA! I think it's sad for so many children, especially when you witness that kind of detached parenting in person. I very strongly believe that detachment does not translate into independence for children, and I also wonder the effect it has on their emotional development. How can you foster independence by pushing your child away? To me, that just indicates to your child that you prefer to not be supportive or in their company.
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Old 06-08-2010, 12:01 PM   #68
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

My sister has said for ages that she will not try to BF because it grosses her out. I personally don't *understand* it...I've got a 33 month old nursling myself, but I do understand odd things grossing people out. I will NEVER give blood, because it makes my skin crawl. Yes, it's beneficial and more people should do it, but I'm never going to. Probably a weird analogy, but it makes it so my sister and I don't argue :P

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Old 06-08-2010, 09:37 PM   #69
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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Originally Posted by newbiemama View Post
right now i'm on this total "de-sexualization of breasts" kick.
Please don't. I love that my breasts are sexual. It's the fastest way for DH to get me turned on. In fact, several times I've woken up in the middle of the night to find DH *ahem* playing with the girls and I'm already so turned on I can't go back to sleep.

That being said, I've bf all my kids. Every woman (sis, SILs, mother, etc) in my family has breastfed, almost always until at least a year. It's very normal within my "circle" for women to breastfeed.

I think breasts can serve a dual purpose. So don't make them out to be just baby-feeders.
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Old 06-08-2010, 09:41 PM   #70
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Re: who do you know that refuses to BF?

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to be honest. I am contemplating not doing it with my new baby. it was so hard to get my DD to eat and we ended up supplementing, and then my DH gave me a bunch of crap for it ( still does) and it eventually go to where I was so stressed that I couldn't nurse anymore

quite frankly Id rather skip all of the guilt and start out with formula rather than feel like a failure in the end...
it may be stupid to some. but its a real concern for me...
I've heard that spouse support is one of the best indicators of breast-feeding success, so this doesn't surprise me. Honestly, I think it would be really hard to bf without a strong support system around you. Don't beat yourself up over it.
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