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Old 06-12-2010, 10:51 PM   #1
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Birthday Etiquette Question

Let me start off by saying I am thankful for whatever anyone gives DD for her birthday, but my MIL buys DD crap. Constantly sends boxes and boxes of useless crap. It clutters up my house and usually is cheap things that fall apart pretty quickly. I am thankful that she takes the time to remember her granddaughter and mail her things, but wish that instead of a bunch of small cheap things she buy one nice meaningful thing.

In fact I have to spend tomorrow cleaning out her toy box and tossing out all of the cheap little plastic things MIL has mailed DD over the last six months. And seriously what kid needs 30 or 40 stuffed dogs??? She doesn't even like dogs!

With that said, I want to have a themed birthday this year. DD is really into reading the Corduroy Bear books right now. I thought that maybe we could have a book themed party and ask that people buy DD their favorite children's book as a gift, find children's book decorations etc.

Would it be rude to ask for books instead of traditional gifts for DD's birthday??

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Old 06-12-2010, 11:02 PM   #2
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

I don't think it would be. Maybe worded along the lines of 'We are trying to build up a library for DD' and not as 'hey give us some books!'

Maybe something about trying to build a Caldecott library for her, and then include a short piece of information about the Caldecott award. That way you can kind of emphasize that you're hoping for quality literature
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Old 06-12-2010, 11:09 PM   #3
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

I don't know how old your daughter is, but my daughter seems to love crappy cheap "toys"(she's 4). Like easter egg and little plastic figurines that do nothing. It's kind of funny to me the amount of money we have spent on awesome toys for her, and she still plays with the junk toys more often. My husband actually said he's not buying her any quality toys for awhile because it bugs him.

Back on point though....

I deffinately think it's okay to try and get books instead of toys for her birthday. I don't know how I'd word it, but if I saw an invitation that mentioned getting a book instead of a toy (no matter the wording) I'd think it was a great idea. (there are people out there who request only gift cards, and money (which I think is a thoughtless gift, but to each their own)
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:52 AM   #4
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

champatlife- It's not so much about the cheap junk as the massive amounts of it that make it into my home then MIL complains that my house is cluttered and who made it cluttered???

DD doesn't play with the expensive toys either. She is more into imaginative play than anything. She is very creative with coloring and play doh more than she plays with actual toys. She really is into having books read to her right now. She's going to be 3 this year. She really likes Corduroy Bear and Eric Carle books.

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Originally Posted by boy-oh-boy View Post
I don't think it would be. Maybe worded along the lines of 'We are trying to build up a library for DD' and not as 'hey give us some books!'

Maybe something about trying to build a Caldecott library for her, and then include a short piece of information about the Caldecott award. That way you can kind of emphasize that you're hoping for quality literature
I love that idea! Thanks
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Old 06-13-2010, 11:14 AM   #5
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by boy-oh-boy View Post
I don't think it would be. Maybe worded along the lines of 'We are trying to build up a library for DD' and not as 'hey give us some books!'

Maybe something about trying to build a Caldecott library for her, and then include a short piece of information about the Caldecott award. That way you can kind of emphasize that you're hoping for quality literature
I think that's a great idea! I've wanted to do this for DS before, but of course I had family members offended saying "Who wants books for their birthday?" Um, DS does. We read atleast 5 books a day together.

I hope it works out for you!
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Old 06-13-2010, 08:13 PM   #6
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

My in-laws do the same thing. Actually, my mom tends to as well. They are all more about quantity than quality, I guess.
Anyway, I've started calling them well in advance of bdays and saying "I'd really like to get _____ for the kids, and I was wondering if you'd want to contribute. It's just something I know they would absolutely love!" So far, it has worked nicely the past few times.
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Old 06-13-2010, 09:59 PM   #7
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Re: Birthday Etiquette Question

My MIL does this too. Does the same thing for her grown son on birthday/Christmas. I think she just ducks into Walgreens or Fred's (thank God she's banned from Walmart or we'd be really swimming in it) and buys whatever their bargain bin item is. Last time she came over she brought a grocery sack of crap. She got me these kitchy headbands - strip of extra wide fabric ribbon sewn to a ponytail holder, God-awful colors - and my daughter uses them as belts. Got the kids a couple off Hot Wheels. Got DH a small yard decoration - scratch and dent boy on a tractor, pulling two retrievers. And those damn Gerber puffs. They're a great treat for a 6-9 month old I suppose. But my kids walk & run. Thanks. I needed that in my carpet!

And lest I forget the 'juice.' it was the local version of Jungle Juice. If you're unfamiliar with that, it's just like Koolaid, only worse, and premixed in milk-jugs. That went in el garbage.
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