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Old 07-29-2010, 06:55 PM   #241
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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oh mama i have felt the same at times.. like i just want to run away. I still do sometimes.

I'm sure it's very different for you to have more than one little one, but if I need a minute to just chill out, I go in the bathroom just to get away. Mason just entertains himself for a few minutes.
It sucks doesn't it! Last night I went pee and didn't even get to the wiping part before the girls were saying "NOOOO Roanin NOOOO" He tried to feed the baby his sweet potatoes I got out. (He was pooping so I thought I'd pee real quick while I had a second ) Orange sweet potatoes all over the baby, his papasan chair and the white carpet. Ugghhh. I can't hide anywhere. LOL! I love my kids and I want to be a good mom to them but it seems like I have no control over my mood swings. I will wake up and say I am going to stay calm today, and I'm going to be kind to my children and then I just snap. I took some left over hydrocodone I had from after having dey dey when I hurt my toe. I felt all euphoric and lovey and happy. I thought to people actually feel like this ever? Sad but true.

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Old 07-29-2010, 07:02 PM   #242
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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I'm trying to decide between "Marine Heather" or "Tidepool Heather" for the main colorway... and then I think I like "Truffle" for the trim.
I like tidepool heather with the truffle.

I want to use this in orca for this pattern. That should work shouldn't it?
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:02 PM   #243
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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Erica, I've been meaning to ask you!

Do you dye a colorway called "little bambino"? I think i've seen it in your store? lol
Why yes, yes I do
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:03 PM   #244
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

Liz,

I think my BBR is softer than traditonal cestari and comparabel to the fine Cestari. It is no bfl though. It is not silky, more cottony. Want me to put some in the mail to you so you can feel it. I order directly from Black Berry Ridge Farm. Shoot me a pm w/address.

Aimee

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Oh, and I need honest opinions on BBR. I have one yarn on this base and I find it so rough! Even after washing and lanolizing the finished longies (not knit by me) I think my cestari and targhee is 100 times softer!

Is that typical of BBR, or did I get a bad batch? I'm also wondering if it might have been mislabeled and is actually Corridale. I've never felt that one but I've heard it's rough.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:05 PM   #245
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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Yep it's all of that. It's a bit worse though. Before I started on my zoloft I was having panic attacks and seriously thinking about running away, like just getting in my car and driving away. I don't know where, just away. When Roanin is crying or throwing a fit and the dey dey is screaming AGAIN sometimes I envision myself slamming my head into the wall. I get panicky and too much noise makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. I have these what if thoughts, like what Brooke Shields said. Your driving down a road and it curves but what if you just went straight and crashed. Not that exact one but stuff like that. I'm angry and scream at the kids. I told Roanin I was going to "kick the crap out of him" the other day. He threw a shoe and it almost hit the toe that is mangled, that he has mangled twice now. I felt like such a loser afterward. I mean I'm the mom who tries to sound sweet but stern if need be and tell my kids to do things with happy hearts. And to be kind to one another and I tell my kid, my baby, I am going to kick the crap out of him. I hate this. What do you do, besides Zoloft though?
This sounds exactly like what I experience. Only I have some "up" days mixed in where I can't stop being super-mom and talking everyone's ear off, and buying stuff online that I can't afford, then I have a day like you just described. I see my kids being afraid of me, and not knowing what I'm going to do or say, and it makes me want to
I take Zoloft and last year I saw a therapist to help work out some "trigger" issues and also to give me some coping tools with the things that stress me out.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:08 PM   #246
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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This sounds exactly like what I experience. Only I have some "up" days mixed in where I can't stop being super-mom and talking everyone's ear off, and buying stuff online that I can't afford, then I have a day like you just described. I see my kids being afraid of me, and not knowing what I'm going to do or say, and it makes me want to
I take Zoloft and last year I saw a therapist to help work out some "trigger" issues and also to give me some coping tools with the things that stress me out.
Yes this too. So should I look into a therapist too? Can I ask what dosage of zoloft you are on?
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:10 PM   #247
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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Liz,

I think my BBR is softer than traditonal cestari and comparabel to the fine Cestari. It is no bfl though. It is not silky, more cottony. Want me to put some in the mail to you so you can feel it. I order directly from Black Berry Ridge Farm. Shoot me a pm w/address.

Aimee
Aimee dyed my sly fox on BBR. I had never felt it before. I love it. So squishy/bouncy, like spongy maybe. It's not soft like Gaia or MMR but still luscious.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:13 PM   #248
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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Yes this too. So should I look into a therapist too? Can I ask what dosage of zoloft you are on?
I would definitely suggest a therapist along with the Zoloft. I really feel like it helped a TON. I take 50mg, but a couple of weeks after Ivey's birth I went up to 100mg for a while.
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:22 PM   #249
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

I have been IA today since I am working.. No knitting for me, but we did have a cute baby this morning.
Jessie- I will email you tonight when I get home from work!

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Just depressed. Tired, I dont want to do ANYTHING. Everything is boring.. I dont even want to knit.. The kids and i eat out more because i would rather just throw them in the car and drive somewhere then figure out something to make.
I feel like i dont want to be a mom anymore. I get angry very fast, The things that make me smile.. Just dont. Or i fake it. I feel useless, overwhelmed, and unexcited...

I could sit here and type all day. I dont know if i can make it another week for an appt. I might call tomorrow and see if i can get in sooner.
Ashley, I am so sorry and at one point in my life I could SOOO relate. I still have bad anxiety/panic attacks but seeing a therapist has helped TONS. I was also on meds for a while.. SOOOO helpful. I hope you made an appointment for sooner.

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No Jessie, that's not me selling the bulky gaia I wouldnt be selling it until AFTER I dyed it LOL!!!


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Yes this too. So should I look into a therapist too? Can I ask what dosage of zoloft you are on?
I agree-- therapy can be sooo helpful. Sometimes it takes a while to find one that you click with, but once you do it is great!

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Aimee dyed my sly fox on BBR. I had never felt it before. I love it. So squishy/bouncy, like spongy maybe. It's not soft like Gaia or MMR but still luscious.
I have quite a bit of BBR and I have to say I don't really like it very much.. Am I the only one?? LOL
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Old 07-29-2010, 07:35 PM   #250
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Re: Knitters/Hookers/Spinners/Dyers *WIP* 7/29

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Thanks.. I am just in such a slump.. Today i actually cried over lunch.. Not bc it wasnt tasty.. but because the kids kept stealing my lunch and i am still hungry.
Today is just not going well for me
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