I need help...sleep problems

[jenbo831]

I'll start with my daughter. She was BF'd until she was 13 months old and we coslept with her because she honestly would not sleep alone. By cosleeping I mean on my chest until she was about 11 months. She ate allllll night long. Constantly waking up to eat. So once we quit BFing we gave her milk at night when she woke up, which was still about every 2 hours. Around 14-15 months we moved her into her room on a mattress on the floor. We still needed (and still do) to go in with her and lay down on the bed with her until she falls asleep. We have to do this all night long, approx every 2 hours. Sometimes its not too bad, shell lay right back down. Other times she is screaming at the top of her lungs and doesnt want us to be near her or touch her for about 5 min. Eventually my fiance ends up sleeping in there halfway thru the night. Even with him in there she still wakes up crying. I have an appointment next week with a sleep specialist because I'm thinking something is wrong. She will be 2 in a month and should not be waking up this often. Right? She like never rolls around to get comfortable or anything. She wakes up completely, crying.

Now my son. He is almost 6 months old. At first things were great. He was sleeping 5 hours at a time at night and in his cosleeper next to the bed. Well things are getting bad. Now I put him in his cosleeper. He wakes up after about 3 hours. Eats, and when I try to lay him back down he freaks out. So eventually I just let him sleep on me.....just like my daughter did. UGH Do you think I am picking him up too quickly at night when he starts to wake up? Do I need to give him time to see if he'll go back to sleep? At what point do you know that he's not going to fall asleep? Do you think he'd benefit moving into a crib so he can roll around at night?

I have soooo many questions. I really don't want a repeat of my daughters sleep issues. FYI, We don't believe in CIO, and I feed on demand.

TIA

[aubreyaks]

If you haven't yet, read Dr. Sears' stuff on sleep plms. It might give a little more insight on what to do. Askdrsears.com is the site. It sounds to me like they're both high needs when it comes to sleeping. Maybe you and fiance are ready to sleep alone, but doesn't sound like the kiddos are. If it were me, I'd probably just get a bigger bed or find a way to expand the family bed, put them all in there and sleep. My DS sleeps in the bed with me and nurses through the night, but I am barely aware of it because I don't sit up, I don't pick him up, and I don't put him down when finished. All I have to do is roll over, nurse him, and we both doze back to sleep. It's an easy, seamless transition. We found that this works for us purely by accident, but once we did, we dismantled "the baby's room"and made a "mom and dad's" room, which is separate from the family sleeping room. The sleeping room is for sleep only for everybody. Any other mamas got some ideas?