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Old 08-17-2010, 10:44 AM   #1
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Angry Need Advise Please!

I am at my witís end and I need some advice. My DD has always been a high needs child since she was conceived but lately it has gotten worse. She is 3 almost 4 and was sleeping through the night up until we went on a trip last weekend. Ever since she has been up 2-5 times a night. When she wakes up she is extremely angry and yells and screams at me for no reason, you canít reason with her. She all of a sudden is scared of everything her room, the shadows, everything. So I told her she can sleep on the floor next to our bed, but she still isnít happy with that and throws a huge fit, waking up the whole house. These fits also seem to be carrying on into the day time. When she doesnít get her way she screams at me, stomps her feet and there is no calming her down. Is there something wrong with my child, I donít even know what to do. She is very bright, loves to learn new things and is a joy to be around when she is in a good mood. Should I seek help for her and if so where. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Old 08-17-2010, 10:50 AM   #2
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Re: Need Advise Please!

Does she nap? When B would wake up at night it's because she was too tired and wouldn't sleep through the night. Once we got her back to taking a nap (1-2 hours) she started sleeping at night again. We didn't think she needed a nap so for about 2 months she would wake up all night, I read about it somewhere, gave her a nap, and she was back to normal.

We also started a habit of cleaning their room before bedtime (bonus- it helps me not trip over toys in the middle of the night lol). That way she knows where things are and if she saw "something" she would realize it was her big hat or something. And we got a bright night light for their room too.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:04 AM   #3
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Re: Need Advise Please!

No she does not nap and has not for a long time. I do try to make her nap because I do think she is over tired but she thinks I'm punishing her when I make her take a nap. And if she does fall asleep to take a nap then she won't go to sleep until 10 or 11 at night. It's a vicious circle here.
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Old 08-17-2010, 11:23 AM   #4
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Re: Need Advise Please!

When she throws a fit, ask her to tell you what's wrong. If she doesn't, just say "If there is nothing wrong, there is no reason to throw a fit. Now stop." Walk away and ignore her. Don't even look at her. The first few times will not be pretty. If she tells you what's wrong, offer solutions that are acceptable to you. Give her 2 or 3 choices. She has some control over the matter, but no so many options she is overwhelmed. So basically "Well I (we, you) can either A or B" If she refuses both "Your options are A *or* B. You may chose one of those or deal with it." You may want to chose a different way to phrase the last part if it bothers you. If she still refuses one of the choices, just tell her to let you know when she decides and walk away. Ignore her.

I have a friend with a 4yo diva. This works for her. I am using it with my 2yo. I have to approach it more on his level of course, but it works more often than not.
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Old 08-17-2010, 12:03 PM   #5
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Re: Need Advise Please!

When DS1, who just turned 3, throws a fit and won't speak clearly to tell me what is wrong, then I tell him to sit in the timeout until he can calm down and talk to me like a big boy. Usually, he doesn't even make it across the room before the screaming stops and the big boy voice appears. Then we think of ways to right the wrongs that have been done to him by this evil world.

He also wakes up at night screaming when he doesn't get enough sleep, like when he skips nap. Can you put your LO to bed earlier?
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