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Old 08-20-2010, 09:43 AM   #31
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

The reason I would wait to 18 is because it is nothing like piercing his ears. The foreskin is not just a useless piece of skin and has a purpose. The removal of it negatively affects the sex life. I don't want people making fun of him out of ignorance to cause him to make a desicion like that. As hard as it is to inform him I will inform him about it. Good thing I have research papers I can give him and websites to look at.

If my dd wanted a boob job before she was 18 because she felt self consious that they were too small I wouldn't allow it. If my child of either sex wanted their ears pierced I would let them because it doesn't affect the function of their ears and they can take them out if they decide they don't like them anymore.

When they are adults they can decide for themselves but I want it to be informed consent so they really know what they are doing. A ten year old or 14 year old who is getting made fun of won't have actual informed consent. With the numbers changing hopefully this won't be an issue. Heck it could even be the other way around depennding on the area. I want my kids to be confident and to handle any bullying they may experience in their life but that doesn't always happen. I was bullied and didn't have confidence and I did feel self consious about things associated with my body.

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Old 08-20-2010, 10:34 AM   #32
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

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Why 18? Is ears pierced 18? Not in my house.
18 is an arbitrary number that denotes maturity. Of course some kids are mature enough to make such decisions earlier, some not until later. But that isn't the main reason I chose 18. How shall I put this nicely. We aren't done growing until we are about 18 or 19. I would prefer that the procedure be done when he is done growing physically.

Other than that, ear piercing is a whole different ballgame. It is reversible for the most part by just removing the jewelry, or completely reversible via a simple outpatient surgery. The same cannot be said for circumcision. That is much more permanent and something I would want my child to have the maturity to make a lifelong decision on. If you get your ears pierced on a whim, you can remove the jewelry on a whim, and get them pierced again later. Circumcision is a decision that cannot be taken so lightly.
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Old 08-20-2010, 12:50 PM   #33
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

I'd be perfectly fine with that agreement. With the rates of circumcision dramatically decreasing, and the number of parents choosing to educate themselves and those around them (with the truth of course, not all the myths and misinformation I see getting tossed around), the chance your son is going to want to be circumcised is pretty slim. I would say at the VERY least half of his peers will be intact. I really don't think it will even be an issue...

That said, it should be a choice that is made when he is of legal age to make such a decision. I don't know what your DH means by "older", 8, 15, 21? Maybe you should discuss an age that both of you feel is appropriate to make such a life altering decision. I'm sure your husband will feel differently as he grows to get to know and love his son the way he is.

Also, do you think your husband is the type of person who will make your son feel like "less of a man" because he isn't circumcised, just to get his way and prove a point to you? I would really hope not, but that's always a possibility
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Old 08-21-2010, 09:36 AM   #34
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

I don't think you should worry. If a time comes where he says he wants to be circ'd then you can discuss it then. If my son wants to be circ'd some day then we'll discuss it. But since the rate is dropping, I highly doubt he'll want to be. Unless he is having issues with it medically or something like that. I know some men who got circ'd, but they got circ'd as adults.
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Old 08-21-2010, 12:03 PM   #35
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

We just went through a revision surgery for DFS on Friday.

Originally, the deal DH and I had was the same as yours. After going through the revision surgery (which has to be done under general anesthsia), DH has changed his mind. We will NEVER willingly do this to our child. Ever. It was horrible. It looks like he has been through a sausage grinder. Due to the nature of his adhesions from the incorrectly done circ the first time (we didn't have him then...), it was completely horrible. DFS has had 3 surgeries previously, and never had such poorly controlled pain as this one. Now he's on Tylenol with codiene, and he freaks out with ever diaper change.
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Old 08-23-2010, 11:57 AM   #36
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

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My opinion is "his body, his choice". If I have a son and he decides he wants to be circ'd, I'm fine with that. I would make sure that he had proper information, was making an informed decision, and was over the age of 18. After that, he is free to choose circumcision, or any other cosmetic surgery.
I agree, as long as it was done with accurate information and he is an adult I would support it. Heck, some people do even crazier body modifications to their genital areas. And while I'm sure those people enjoy it, I still wouldn't let my child do that when they're not an adult.

Plus, I wouldn't want peer pressure or someone else (i.e. dad or relatives) trying to get him to do it when he doesn't really want to. And of course you want everything to be fully grown so there's no issues later on.
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Old 09-27-2010, 10:34 PM   #37
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

I think your son probably wouldn't want it done anyway. I mean unless his dad was pressuring him so hopefully he won't. My hubby and 2 of my boys are uncirced. It's something I never considered with my first but am so glad I left my little guys intact. I think it would of course be your son's decision but I don't think he should be allowed to make it until he is 18.
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:04 AM   #38
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

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A friend of mine had his circumcision done when we were in high school b/c he was made fun of for not being circ'd. A lot of mamas on here say that boys don't get made fun of for it, but that wasn't the case with my friend. All it takes is for 1 person to find out and the truth is you just don't know how children/teenagers are going to act and what they are going to say. I'm not saying that being teased is a reason to circ, but it was the reason my friend made his own choice.
How long ago were you in highschool? Even in the last 10 years...heck, the last 5 years actually the rates were 40% intact, 60% circumcised, NOW it is only 33% who is circumcised, 68% intact...if anyone gets made fun of (which NO one SHOULD) it will be a circumcised person. Also, my DH was in the Marines, and played football his entire life...he said that he NEVER heard or saw someone making fun of another mans penis, that would be disgusting and admitting that you took a peak. Just because 1 guy got made fun of a long time ago does not take into account all the penis' that didn't get made fun of...I am sure they don't walk around proud that they never got made fun of for being "different". You only hear the horror stories because people don't walk around talking about great penis stories...well I have heard a few..LOL
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Old 09-28-2010, 02:54 PM   #39
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

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How long ago were you in highschool? Even in the last 10 years...heck, the last 5 years actually the rates were 40% intact, 60% circumcised, NOW it is only 33% who is circumcised, 68% intact...if anyone gets made fun of (which NO one SHOULD) it will be a circumcised person. Also, my DH was in the Marines, and played football his entire life...he said that he NEVER heard or saw someone making fun of another mans penis, that would be disgusting and admitting that you took a peak. Just because 1 guy got made fun of a long time ago does not take into account all the penis' that didn't get made fun of...I am sure they don't walk around proud that they never got made fun of for being "different". You only hear the horror stories because people don't walk around talking about great penis stories...well I have heard a few..LOL
I graduated in 2003. I agree that no one SHOULD get made fun of, but the point is, it happens. Saying it doesn't is naive IMO. And I also believe that that # probably varies widely depending on geography. Just think of all the moms on here that have to watch their babies like a hawk in the hospital b/c the doctors and nurses just assume that boys will be circumcised. I would assume that is b/c most people in that area have their boys circ'd (I'm not saying that's right, but to me it's just logic that if a dr is assuming, it's probably b/c that's what most people do). Anyway, my point is that whether or not your children are going to get made fun of shouldn't even be a factor in why you are circ'ing or not. Kids, teenagers, humans make fun of each other all the time. Some kids get made fun of for having red hair, or freckles, or being tall, or being short, or being fat, or being skinny, lots and lots and lots of things. And the locker room isn't the only place that people see penises (or is it peni?). A lot of teenagers experiment sexually in high school, whether their parents want to believe it or not. I will encourage my son to wait until marriage, but I am not so naive to believe that he will obey everything I tell him. And a lot of people say that you can't tell the difference in an erect penis, but I also don't think that every guy hurries up and puts his pants back on immediately after intercourse. That would be one opportunity to see the intact penis while it is not erect. And in younger children there's the whole "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." So, does not being circ'd guarantee that a child will get made fun of, no, of course not. But saying that it doesn't happen is just naive.
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Old 09-28-2010, 02:55 PM   #40
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Re: Dh agreed not to circ, but says

If I had an intact son and he came to me about getting a circumcision, which I would highly doubt would happen. I would want to talk to my son about his reasons for wanting a circumcision, if he still wanted it I would take him. Giving him an opportunity to choose is one of the reasons we have made a decision to not circumcise if NB is a boy.
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