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Old 12-16-2010, 05:48 PM   #1
carolineb's Avatar
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when you and DH disagree?

HI there. I mostly am posting over on the diaper chatter page, but have been lurking here recently. I am pg with baby #3 due in March. I EBF my first 2 kiddos but by 3 weeks, I was pretty tired, thought I had low supply, so we started doing a bottle before bed. I kept feeling so "empty" and drained by the afternoon that I would "top him off" with a bottle and then pump. I never felt my supply increase and they gradually weaned themselves by about 4.5 months I REALLY don't want that to happen this time. DH is supportive of BF, but to him, the #1 goal is sleeping at night. So, he thinks that a bottle before bed is what helps. I disagree. I've been trying to be proactive and read more info on helping supply issues and I'm thinking that I didn't nurse them enough. A lot of what I am reading discusses co-sleeping and nursing. We didn't co-sleep with our first 2 for various reasons, but one reason is I don't think I would sleep well anyway. I'm too aware of the baby being there and even if I used a bassinett, the little noises they make early on keep me awake. I'd like to find a happy medium but DH pretty much believes we should be in a seperate room from the baby. He wants to start doing a bottle early (4-6 weeks?). I had said I didn't want to do a bottle with DS2 b/c I regretted what happened with DS1, but I gave in because I was soooooo tired. I thought it would help, but the same thing happened.

I guess I am just wondering what to do when I have a DH that is "sort-of" supportive, but sort of isn't. I think in his mind, he's just trying to help me get some rest, get a chance to have a break, let someone else help feed the baby/hold the baby, etc. I appreciate that and he admits he doesn't understand the emotional aspect of BF, but he remembers seeing how tired I was, being in tears b/c it wasn't just an easy "sit down and nurse my baby-no problems" type of experience.

Part of me is willing to try co-sleeping and nursing, but I don't think he would want to, but I also don't want to sleep in a seperate bed from my hubby. But I know that HE would be getting sleep. I will have a 4yo and 6yo that I homeschool when the baby comes, so I know he's just wanting to make sure I can get as much rest as possible.

I just asked him to support me and he asked me to be willing to compromise. I just don't see why I should give my baby a bottle of formula when my body is designed to give him/her the perfect food. I'm just worried my same supply issues will return and I will become frustrated and give in again.

What are some of your favorite herbs for increasing supply? Has anyone tried the teas from cottonbabies or anything like that? I tried reglan with DS2 and it made my supply WORSE! And I know it's really not very safe anyway. I cannot find dom ANYWHERE and DH doesn't want me buying it off the internet.

Sorry this got to be so long!
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