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Old 06-21-2006, 02:41 PM   #1
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S/O - postpartum help/visitors, etc.

What tips/tricks do you have for getting GOOD help after a baby comes?

What are creative/non-offensive ways to ask people to leave or limit their visits to certain times of day?

How do you ask for things like meals, laundry/household help? How do you keep on top of what needs doing when you're busy with a baby (or two ) ?

What are you tips for coping with IL's/family?

Let's help each other out!


Bethany, wife and sweetheart to Steve since 6/03/00
Mommy to: Joey (6/13/02), Bryan (6/23/04), Caden & Ellyson (10/04/06)
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Old 06-21-2006, 06:29 PM   #2
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Re: S/O - postpartum help/visitors, etc.

In my group of local friends we have whats called a "Baby Moon" It alsts for a month or sometimes longer for Csection moms or for moms of twins and triplets.
During the Baby Moon our group of friends gathers and we all take one day a week or if theres enough of us one day a month. On that day we are there to help the family in any way possible. We tend to send the dad in with the mom and baby and then we run the house. Cook the meals, do the laundry, make school runs, clean the house, and entertain the kids. We leave mom and baby and dad alone to bond and to rest. We get there in the morning and elave after everyones in bed and asleep. If we have only 7 people then we rotate and pick days of the month that works best for us and we committ and stick to our days. We dont leave the family hanging.
Its been a ton of fun to do this. THis gives the mom time alone and to rest and get to know her baby. We love doing it to help and everyone who has ever recieves the help has always given back three fold to other moms. Its been great!
If you dont have this kind of resource avaialble, then get some family to come in and help. Ask moms, MIL, aunts, sisters, cousins, church members, and friends to come in and help in any way possible. Let them know that you need help with the house and meals and let them know that you arent up to chatting and visiting. Give something in return though.

HTH, sorry im not more help to you!
Mama to Klaire (11), and Kooper (10.16.12)
Wifey of 11 years to Kreg.
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Old 06-22-2006, 08:26 AM   #3
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Re: S/O - postpartum help/visitors, etc.

When DJ was born, I finally got the nurses at the hospital to help run interference with visitors. Once we came home, I just didn't answer the phone. We did have some family events where everyone could see the baby and I think that helped to discourage people from hanging around our house. Like one Sunday afternoon, my aunt offered to host a lunch at her house for all of our extended family...that way I didn't have to feel obligated to clean up or cook or anything like that. We just got to show up, visit for a bit, and we had the option to leave when we got tired, instead of having to count on others to pay attention and figure out when it was time to leave. One of my neighbors said something about giving me a shower this time and I told her that if it's all the same to her, I'd really rather let her do a "welcome home" party or something after the baby is born. We've done that with several of my cousins who have had babies recently because we have such a large family that it really gets overwhelming with the constant stream of visitors.

I like the theory of having friends and family help out, but honestly, when DJ was born, I wanted space more than any other help. I'm not sure how it will be this time with a toddler too. I just know that I came home from church one Sunday to find my MIL vacuuming cobwebs in my living room and I was mortified! I can't imagine asking anyone...even my help with laundry or things like that. I'm sure I'll be asking my mom to help with DJ this time and hopefully some of our friends in the neighborhood will step up and help with taking him outside to play, etc. but I'm just too territorial or something to have other people helping with my housework. Meals are one thing but dh is such a picky eater that I found most of the food people brought us wound up being fed to visitors while he ate frozen pizzas or sandwiches. Whenever someone I know has a baby, I always offer to help with housework and such but I could never let anyone do that for me. I wind up letting them watch the baby while I do laundry or something.
Barbara - Unexpectedly back after a long hiatus...anxiously awaiting #6!
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