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Old 01-24-2011, 09:04 PM   #1
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Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

DS is 16.5 months and still in our bed (used a co-sleeper next to the bed until 6 months and then he moved to our bed and has been there since). DF and I are both very happy with this arrangement and have no plans of stopping anytime soon. DF says that in the future the rule will be he has to start the night in his room but he can end up in our room later on if need be.

Honestly, I think DS would do okay in his own bed in his room. He sleeps in his big boy bed (toddler bed) for naps just fine. We rarely ever co-sleep for naps and have been that way since day 1. But I don't think I could handle him being so far away at night, and I don't think DF could either. For example, last night he threw up. Granted it was all over me and the bed and it was beyond gross, but I was so thankful I was right there and I could get to him immediately. He wasn't crying or anything, jus sitting up and throwing up, so it's not like I really would have heard that well over the monitor. And he still had lots of it in his mouth and I just kept thinking of these crazy, never gonna happen, but "what ifs??" scenarios that could happen if he was in his room.

Basically I'm a paranoid first time mom wondering if I'll ever be okay with not cosleeping lol. Am I the weird one or is this normal?

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Old 01-24-2011, 09:10 PM   #2
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

I prefer to sleep with my children (they are 11.5, 9, and 3.5) but unfortunately our family cannot all fit in the same bed at the same time. I have always felt that they were much safer right beside me, and it's so much easier to get them to fall asleep and stay asleep. Just the youngest one is in the bed full-time with us now.

FWIW all mamas are allowed one or two things to be overly paranoid about.
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Old 01-24-2011, 09:12 PM   #3
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

I had a hard time transitioning from cosleeping when I kicked out my older 2 (almost-4 and 2.5). I even started cuddling my childhood teddy bear at night Granted, DH was working nights then, so maybe I would have had an easier time if he had been at home. I hate sleeping alone.

FWIW, now the boys (6.5 and 5) generally do not want to sleep in my room at all. 5yo is mostly easy about it, because he often needs the separation from DS1 so that he CAN settle down and go to sleep. He gets kicked out when we go to bed.
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Old 01-24-2011, 10:24 PM   #4
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

We slowly transitioned my son into his own bed, in his own room, over the course of a couple months. I actually slept crammed into his itty bitty twin bed for a month because I couldn't bear to leave him. And then I did one night, and he slept all night - no problems. And you know what? It made me SAD. Silly, right? But I was sad that he didn't "need" me to sleep, and since that bed was so dang uncomfortable for me I moved back in to my own room. I still miss cuddling with him but he's done great and my lower back is very thankful to be out of that cramped space.
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Old 01-25-2011, 08:21 AM   #5
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

I had a harder time, for sure. DD went into her own bed, in OUR room, for a few months - and about a month ago we finally moved her bed into her room. She's 3. I miss having her next to me at night! If she's ever not feeling well, I don't hesitate to have her come into bed with us, just for the night. It just makes me feel like she's safer, and I'm right there if she needs anything.
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Old 01-25-2011, 04:19 PM   #6
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

fWIW, my almost-two-year old sleeps absolutely fine in her room for naps and goes to sleep in her room too at the beginning of the night... But she would panic if we tried to NOT bring her into our room after she wakes up the first time in the middle of the night! So though he MAY be just fine transitioninng, I wouldn't be surprised if he actually likes being in your bed for most of the night even though he naps fine in his room!
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Old 01-25-2011, 11:48 PM   #7
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

Eventually you will be fine with transitioning him into his own bed. If it doesn't feel like now is a good time for you, then don't transition yet. Wait til it does feel right. We coslept with our DD until she turned 4....I contemplated transitioning her many times over the years, but I always felt like she belonged in our bed. Then a few weeks prior to her 4th birthday I was thinking about it and no longer felt like she needed to be in our bed. She could nap all by herself and could fall asleep very easily and so we decided to transition her to her own bed and it we all really enjoy it. She feels like a big girl sleeping all by herself and DH and I get more alone time. Pretty soon we'll have a new little DD sleeping in our room (I'm due in March) so it's nice having this time to ourselves.
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Old 01-26-2011, 07:15 AM   #8
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Re: Co-Sleepers- who had the harder time transitioning?

I think mamas almost always have a harder time. Kids are very resilient and most of the time, a slow but consistent transition works just fine for the kid. Some of the kids I know that have had a really hard time transitioning are possibly feeding off mamas anxiety and fussing over them. Your approach to it can make a big difference!
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