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Old 02-02-2011, 12:57 PM   #1
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Unhappy I'm starting to feel like a failure...

My newbie is 2 weeks old tomorrow.

He would only BF with a nipple shield for a little while (wouldn't stay on it for more than 5 mins), and now he wants nothing to do with it!

I did get him to latch on the night before last without the shield. It was kind of spare of the moment, and I was so shocked, but excited that he latched on and ate for about 15/20 mins, but then fell asleep. It's a start, though.

This is what happened: After I offered both breasts with and without the nipple shield, he bobbed his head around and eventually started fussing and hysterically crying. So I calmed him down and put him against my bare chest (I took my shirt & bra off.) I just held him for a little while, and then tried it at the breast again. He wanted nothing of it, so I again put him against my chest and calmed him down. DH then fed him a 2 oz bottle while I started pumping. I stopped pumpking and took him back, and attempted to get him latched on and IT WORKED! I was so shocked/excited...I was almost in tears! DH came back upstairs, and I told him that he was latched on and was eating (I could hear him swallow.) DH was like "no way?!" So I kind of just sat there and left baby do his thing, he then fell asleep and I got him to wake up, and he went back on it for a little while. Then was out again.

I guess that's a start right? The only thing that stinks is that is pretty much the ONLY time I have ever gotten him to latch onto my breast. Sigh. I don't know what to do. I have been talking to the Lacatation Support nurses at my local hospital, and the one nurse I was talking with said that I could come in a day this week, and she would give me 110% and help figure out what the deal is.

Also, I can tell my milk supply is starting to go down a little. I've been eating oatmeal, drinking lots of water/gatorade. I currently have a single electric pump, which doesn't do a great job, but I broke down and bought a Medela Pump In Style Double Electric pump. It should be arriving in the mail tomorrow.. I also purchased some Mother's Milk Tea Bags. What else could I be doing?

I don't know what else to do---or where to turn anymore. I'm beginning to feel like a failure...but I absolutely do not want to give up.


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Old 02-02-2011, 01:22 PM   #2
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

Well you pumped and then he latched on so perhaps he's impatient and you have a slow let-down. Definatly go see the Lactation Support nurse, if you don't already know they're amazing and she will have solutions for you.
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Old 02-02-2011, 09:14 PM   #3
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

I'm not sure what to tell you about the latch issues, hopefully lactation services can help out but if you can get some supply boosters from MotherLove or find some fenugreek and blessed thistle tinctures from your local healthfood stores that will be more helpful than the tea probably. My old LC told me that the teas are nice for relaxation but they won't actually boost your milk supply because they are just too weak. Also, do a googles search for lactation cookies! They are super yummy! Also, lots of skin to skin is supposed to just be helpful for your body to know that there is a baby there and it needs to keep producing milk! Good luck to you!! Hang in there
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Old 02-02-2011, 10:07 PM   #4
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

Sounds like progress! You are doing exactly the right thing as far as I can tell. Try to relax and offer it to him every 1-2 hours during the day.

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Old 02-02-2011, 10:21 PM   #5
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

Pump or hand-express before nursing... If he has been getting bottles he may just be impatient waiting for letdown.

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Old 02-03-2011, 08:54 AM   #6
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

You're doing a great job mama. It took me a while to get away from using the nipple shield and it's kind of a 2 steps forward one step back process. There were about 2 weeks where DS would latch one day w/o the shield and not the next. Finally he just started latching all the time. I know how hard it is emotionally for you and how bad you just want him latch. Just keep working at it and it will happen. It sounds like your DH is very supportive and that's great. I don't no what I would've done without mine, he kept me from having a breakdown.

Another piece of advise I have (especially if you are going to both breastfeed and pump for a bottle) is to get some of the Breastflow bottles. They mimic a let down and really help with nipple confusion, or just plain impatience on your baby's part. They were a life saver for me.

Good Luck!
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Old 02-03-2011, 09:05 AM   #7
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

I struggled for 9 weeks with my DS sonce he had a high pallet and refused to nurse at all. So I pumped around the clock for 9 weeks, went to a lactation consultant, did all the right things, and still felt rejected. I have sucessfully nursed my other 3 children so it was so frustrating to try with my son and constantly have him rear back and scream when offered the breast. Nipple shields did not work either, we tried sprinkling milk on my breast, offering a bottle and then pumping to get let down and then switching him quickly from the bottle over, nothing worked. And then I got the book The Breastfeeding Mothers Guide to Making More Milk from Amazon. You need that book, it makes everything you are going through feel normal. It will be ok, do not give up. At 9 weeks I was so frusteated I was ready to give up and as a last ditched effort as took a "babymoon" and laid topless in bed all weekend and I just let him nuzzel me and miracle of all miracles he took it and then proceeded to BF for the next 4 days about every hour on the hour like a newborn starting out. Please don't give up he will get it eventually and know even if you have to pump and bottle feed you are still giving your baby the best thing a mom can give.
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Old 02-08-2011, 09:59 PM   #8
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Re: I'm starting to feel like a failure...

Sounds like you are doing what you need to be doing. As for boosting your supply fenugreek works for a lot of moms (I know it does for me) you take 3 capsules 3 times per day.

Finley was in NICU for a week so she was not only used to getting a LOT of milk but at a very fast rate since the bottles they use are fast flow, so it took a while to get her transitioned to the breast. Not only a long time but a lot of patience and help from anyone that was willing to offer it!! I will say there were two days that were pure HELL, she literally nursed every hour round the clock but after we got through that she started getting it!

Hang in there!!
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