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Old 02-09-2011, 08:19 AM   #21
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Re: Gender disappointment

[QUOTE=mamamaggie;12170550]I kind of felt the same way, only I wanted a girl so dd would have a sister. My sister and I grew up very close so I thought it would be nice. I hardly talk to my brother. QUOTE]

This is exactly why I was sort of dissapointed in having a boy because I have only brothers and really wanted my daughter to have a sister but I have come to be super excited about having a son now..this way she can always be my favorite girl and he can be my favorite boy. And I suppose theres no guarantee that they will be close.


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Old 02-09-2011, 02:02 PM   #22
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Re: Gender disappointment

Anytime someone asks what im having I always tell them "Well they tell me it looks like a girl, but we will see lol"
In a way I am just joking but Im not going to lie and say I would be upset if it came out a boy. Dh and I really wanted a boy this time around. We have our little girl already and she is the only girl and only grandchild on either side of the family. Needless to say she is put on a pedestal! I was so worried if we had another girl that she would always have to follow in my current dd shadow I have come to terms with the fact that we are having a girl though and it does make things a bit easier for us since we already have most of what we need.
Like you, I know that once she gets here I wont even think about how much we wanted a boy and just have so much unconditional love for my new little girl <3
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Old 02-09-2011, 06:31 PM   #23
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Re: Gender disappointment

I felt the EXACT same way - we are having a girl, and wanted a boy. My husband has a little 6 year old daughter, and was super stoked that this baby would be his little boy! We had lots of people telling us, its going to be a boy - we went for our anatomy scan, and voila - it's a girl. We've had many scans for different reasons since then, and each time, she's still all girl! I've noticed, though - that even though my husband was originally disapointed that it wasn't a boy - he's picking out more girly things than I am! I had picked out mostly gender neutral items (crib bedding, swing, etc) - we went to Babies R Us today - we now have a pink safari bedding set, and a purple swing on the registry.... all thanks to my macho husband! So don't worry, things are meant to happen the way they are meant to happen! You'll realize it at some point as you gaze into the face of your justborn daughter, and she looks back at you like you are her whole world.
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Old 02-10-2011, 01:20 AM   #24
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Re: Gender disappointment

I'm feeling the exact same way. I have always imagined little boys, and just adore looking at beautiful little boys, and just glance at girls. I envision all the wonderful fun things you can do with boys. I worry about not knowing how to play with a girl, and not knowing how to relate when they get older (my niece is now 15 and we have grown so far apart).

When they told me on the U/S I was crushed. I felt deflated and the rest of the day/week etc I just felt miserable. DH was kinda hoping for a girl, so I'm happy for him but seriously disappointed. I cried as I put away all the beautiful baby clothes I had stashed. I cringe when I look at the baby girl things in the store.

I'm still hoping the U/S was wrong, but I know it isn't. I've told people and haven't gotten much support. So I've stopped telling people and just say we're waiting to find out (but secretly it's to minimize the girlie crappy gifts). It's also nice to not say because it's really hard to fake the enthusiasm that they have. People tell me just how girlie this girl will be - not helpful! Some say who cares, dress them like a boy. Some say "at least you don't have to make the circ decision"... I would give all this up in a heartbeat to be honored to get to make that simple decision (to not).

I found some other forums specifically geared towards gender disappointment. It also helped to find out about some ways that may help to sway towards your desired gender, leaving me hopeful for next time around.

Everyone says when you hold the baby your feelings completely change, and I hope that's true. Right now I've got a room full of gender neutral clothing with an occasional heart here and there (that's about all I can bear to look at). What I tell myself is that I'm happy the baby appears healthy (this should be enough). I also tell myself that this is one of those difficult challenges you are dealt with in life that make you human. I had a week of very low-lows as I tried to cope with the GD... the kind that make the highs in life so much more vivid. I'm glad I found out early on to give myself time to adjust to the news.

Many people I talk to tell me they had some GD too, but I don't think it's nearly as intense or as strong of a feeling as me. So using the forums at in-gender really helped. And extreme GD is an even more severe form where people cope with thoughts of termination/adoption etc... PM if you ever want to chat. GL!
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Old 02-12-2011, 01:24 PM   #25
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Re: Gender disappointment

I'm feeling a little disappointed that this baby is another girl. On one hand, We'll have 2 girls close in age and I hope they'll be close. On the other hand I really wanted a little boy. And DH really wanted a little boy of his own.
This is girl #3 for my DH and he REALLY wants a boy. So now we are even talking about trying one more time and swaying for a boy. However, if we did manage to get pregnant again AND if that baby turns out to be another, I can't imagine how we'd feel then.
Karen, wife to the best 'n hubby ever, C. Mom to DS, J (1/1996), DSD, M (2/2001) my spunky Zara (7/7/2009). AND our very active toddler, Maya 4/30/2011!
no longer in diapers
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