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Old 02-12-2011, 07:31 PM   #21
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Re: How many children?

I think two would be good and three max. I think it would be too much for me personally to have more then that but we shall see

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Old 02-12-2011, 08:07 PM   #22
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Re: How many children?

I'm pregnant with #3 and this is IT for us!

-I don't like being pregnant, I always feel like crap
-Would have stopped at 2 but DD is from my previous marriage and I felt like DH deserved to have another bio child
-vacations/trips get more expensive and complicated with each child
-don't want to have to drive a church van!
-want to have room in our house without being all cramped in together, have enough space for each person
-I am not very patient and I can't really "deal" with a lot of kids. I LOVE my kids but I am not cut out to be a mom to many

ETA: birth control isn't good for me and neither are condoms. DH is going to get snipped so we can actually have a good sex life without having to worry about me getting pregnant all the time!

ALso- my kids share a room currently, and when this baby comes we will either have 2 boys or 2 girls sharing. That's not what I mean by space...think....Duggars before they built their ginormous house That's what I picture!

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Old 02-12-2011, 08:32 PM   #23
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Re: How many children?

I've always wanted 3, DH always wanted 2... so far we have one, hoping maybe to TTC this summer, except DH's salary is getting slashed (like 50%) so we're hoping he will get another job... maybe we will have to wait a little longer.

We do have a savings account for DS, would like to pay for college. Our parents paid for bachelor's degrees for DH and me; we paid our own way through grad school. Kids sharing a room is OK, but it depends on the age & sex of the kids and the size of the room!

I always imagined 3-4, but I married an older DH. (He is almost 38; I am almost 29.) He wants to be able to see the kid(s) in college and retire before he's toooooo old, so we will probably get out of the baby game within a few years.
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Old 02-12-2011, 09:08 PM   #24
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Re: How many children?

We have no set number every child is prayerfully considered. I heard a saying that the cost of a college education is the best form of birth control. That for us has never been a concern,dh and I were both given everything as kids and we totally took it for granted and threw it all away. We want our children to work for what they have. If they want to go to college there are plenty of options and we will support them with lodging ,meals,ect but they have to WANT it,it needs to be up to them when they are ready. We expect them to work and certainly would never settle for them sitting around you have to be in school or working full time once they graduate high school. I also don't except this idea that everyone has to go to college to make something of themselves I have watched so many friends so far in debt,only to work minimum wage or simply find there are NO JOBS in their field. If one of my kids wanted to be beautician or a plumber or priest or candle stick maker() I would be completely supportive of that. Some of my kids share a room and some have their own,to me that is not a factor for more kids. I have no desire to take all of my kids to Disney land ever and certainly not every year ,so the vacations we take are camping or traveling to historical sites ,ect and those are the more the merrier. I think for us the thing is I see people around us worrying about college ,clothes, vactaions and it makes no sense to me the things that truly matter don't involve expensive things. I realize that I can not give each child the same attention that I could if I had one or two children but instead they have an even greater gift--- each other. My kids have life long friends and support and I know once dh and I are gone they will not be alone and they will have been given the most precious gift growing up, love and attention .... not things.
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Old 02-12-2011, 09:20 PM   #25
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Re: How many children?

I have always wanted 3 and DH has always wanted 2. We have 2 now and I am trying to get DH to keep an open mind about having another one. DH is also older than I am by 13 years and is already 43 so I know his age is a big factor for him. And the newborn stage has been hard on both of us since I am not the best person in the middle of the night and have had little sleep. We do plan on paying for college and have set up college funds for both DD's and we'll probably have help from the grandparents as well. We are comfortable financially so we shouldn't have too much trouble doing this. If we do have another one, we might need to move because we'd like each child to have their own room. I wouldn't mind them sharing but the bedrooms in our home are really small and it would be hard to share. We are in California where it is very expensive to live and houses are crazy expensive so that honestly be a factor for us also. I don't feel done with two but I can't force DH to have another if he doesn't want to so we'll see how it goes.
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Old 02-12-2011, 09:54 PM   #26
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Re: How many children?

We both wanted 6 and DH already had two. I'm pg with #6 now (not counting our m/c) and we don't feel like we're done yet. We do want to wait a few more years before the next, though!

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Originally Posted by bdhutier View Post
We want our children to work for what they have. If they want to go to college there are plenty of options and we will support them with lodging ,meals,ect but they have to WANT it,it needs to be up to them when they are ready. We expect them to work and certainly would never settle for them sitting around you have to be in school or working full time once they graduate high school. I also don't except this idea that everyone has to go to college to make something of themselves I have watched so many friends so far in debt,only to work minimum wage or simply find there are NO JOBS in their field. If one of my kids wanted to be beautician or a plumber or priest or candle stick maker() I would be completely supportive of that. Some of my kids share a room and some have their own,to me that is not a factor for more kids. I have no desire to take all of my kids to Disney land ever and certainly not every year ,so the vacations we take are camping or traveling to historical sites ,ect and those are the more the merrier. I think for us the thing is I see people around us worrying about college ,clothes, vactaions and it makes no sense to me the things that truly matter don't involve expensive things. I realize that I can not give each child the same attention that I could if I had one or two children but instead they have an even greater gift--- each other. My kids have life long friends and support and I know once dh and I are gone they will not be alone and they will have been given the most precious gift growing up, love and attention .... not things.
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Old 02-12-2011, 10:11 PM   #27
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Re: How many children?

When we got married we never set a number. We said we were done after ds1 because he had GERD and was a lot of work to keep healthy. It was a big toll emotionally and knowing that 50% of all babies have some form of reflux we just couldn't do it again. But when he was 4 and life was going good we decided maybe just 1 more. 2yrs later we had ds2 and he was literally a bundle of joy He was SO EASY. We said maybe 1 more later. We had an oops pregnancy one month when ds2 was turning 2 and we were happy about it but a little unprepared. We lost that baby and then realized we wanted just 1 more. SO 2 more m/c's and 11 months later I got pregnant with ds3 We are happy with things now and I do believe we are done! I am LOVING every minute of my last baby though.

The 2 oldest boys share a room right now until the baby is more on a sleep schedule and not waking at night to eat. When that happens the two youngest will share a room so my oldest can have his own room. He is 11 now and needs his own space.

I think for some it is a difficult choice to make and others it is very cut and dry.
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Old 02-12-2011, 10:18 PM   #28
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Re: How many children?

We want 3 really close in age (less than 2 years) then I'm not sure after that. We also want to adopt down the road, preferably older child or international. We'll probably end up with a lot though; like 6 or 7. We both want a big family.
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Old 02-12-2011, 10:28 PM   #29
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Re: How many children?

I didn't read the other replies and I am just jumping right in. We have 3 ages 4, 2, 6 months. Dh said he is done but after a few long talks we have decided to try for one more. I just don't feel done in my heart is the biggest reason but a few other (probably silly) reasons are I kinda want an even number, I don't want a true only middle child, I want a big family. Our kids share a room (2 of them) and while I do at times think it makes some things harder I think the closeness and teaching moments of siblings sharing a room will be big benefits in the long run. About college dh was all adamant about paying for their college cause his parents didn't help him one cent but there is no way we will be able to afford to do that unless we win the lotto. So we hope to be like my parents while they didn't pay my way, they helped us out tremendously. We do have savings accounts for them but I know there won't be enough to pay for their whole college. I feel like 4 is my magic number but I wouldn't be opposed to more
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Old 02-12-2011, 10:46 PM   #30
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Re: How many children?

DH says he wants enough for a baseball team. . But, it took us so long for DS1 to come along, we will have fewer than dreamed of. (Just had my 34th B-Day.) Now just dreaming of DS2 or DH1!
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