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Old 02-12-2011, 01:33 PM   #1
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Birth Partners and fear.

Okay this is definitely NOT my first baby and all of them have been vaginal and the last 3 have been all natural (I did the epidural and such with my first 2 but decided I wanted to do it on my own after that).

Now the problem, my mom has been my birth coach for all of my kids. My DH is scared of needles and blood and while he is there the whole time he gets nervous and doesn't know what to do. He stands quietly in a corner (This is NOT a quiet man. LOL) Anyway while there is a very real possiblity that this baby will come early due to issues I have had this pregnancy and previous pregnancies I am not due until July 31. My mom is leaving for England July 9-26th all of my aunts and uncles are going also (it was my grandpas Christmas gift to them) anyway I won't have a birth partner per say. And I am scared. I'm not sure I can do this on my own. I know one of my really good friends/cousin would be there for me but I am not sure I feel comfortable with her in the room (I kind of turn into a witch during labor). What if I can't do this on my own? I thought of looking into like a hypnobabies program or something but I don't know anything about it. What would you do? If the baby comes as early as the doctor and specialists are saying (he is going to start checking me at 32 wks and because of previous issues as soon as he feels the baby is ready he will induce. My induced labors have been horrible) then my mom will be home but honestly I would rather wait until the baby is ready rather than to early. I have had 2 preemies in the past and both have had issues with nursing and ended up hospitalized.


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Old 02-12-2011, 02:31 PM   #2
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

Maybe hire a doula? Or find a student doula (as you have a few births under your belt) who will do it for free/cheap.

ExtBFing, ERFing, CDing, bedsharing mama to Lucas (2-21-09), Gabriel (4-16-11), Elliot (1-17-14), and loving wife to Rodd
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Old 02-12-2011, 04:43 PM   #3
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

I agree - YOU CAN DO THIS, but having a doula might help make it a more comforting experience.
Grateful mama to earth-baby DD2 (9/2011)
missing spirit-baby DD1 (9/2009, 3rd trimester) and the little ones who only stayed a few weeks

*TTC a sticky baby since Jan '15. Hoping DD1 returns to us!*
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Old 02-12-2011, 05:58 PM   #4
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

I would hire a doula.
D, wife to B , momma to N 7/08 and A 8/10
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Old 02-14-2011, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

I think you may be surprised by your DH's reaction if that happens. My DH hates needles and blood and all of that mess, but when it came time to labor, even though he had a raging hangover, he just kind of slid into supportive mode because I was totally losing it. Later he described it as an out of body it just happened because it needed to happen. I don't know your DH, but if he's seen all this before, then he knows, somewhere in his brain, how you are and what needs to happen. I think he might actually be okay... just my hopeful opinion
Kearson: Mama to DS (03/09). I leave feedback if it is left for me first, due to my issues with people doing it incorrectly. Can't stand those yellow notepad icons .
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Old 02-15-2011, 07:39 AM   #6
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

Hire a doula. Best decision I EVER made.
Ivy - 6, Lily - 3, Max - 1.5.
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Old 02-15-2011, 10:50 AM   #7
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Re: Birth Partners and fear.

Educate your DH. My DH was the BEST coach ever b/c he felt as confident about what we were doing as I did (well, as much as the dad can). Help him learn ways to help you.

If that won't work, DOULA!!! Many doulas just getting started can offer you great rates!
Hadley, proud to be a wife to Wes (5/26/07), Catholic, natural birthing, BFing, Bedsharing, BWing, ERFing, WOHM, Master's student graduate, and mama to my loves, Emmitt(8/17/09) & Ellen Kate (9/22/11)
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