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Old 02-23-2011, 06:29 AM   #1
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Intervention to end BFing?!

So, yesterday, my sister (with whom I am VERY close :-)and best friend (since we were 5) called me (on three way) as an intervention to get me to stop breastfeeding DS. Their arguments were 1) He is too big to be breastfeeding still (granted, he is the size of a 12 mo but he is still 5 mo) 2) After a certain point there are little to no nutritional advantages (I explained to them they were correct-even though that doesnt apply at 5mo, but nutrition is not the only reason I am doing it-also emotional and psychological reasons). They had some other superficial arguments, but when it all boiled down, I think they are just 1) uneducated about BF and 2) a little jealous-they both have children, but none of them have jobs that really supported BF or the lifestyle/support that would allow them to BF even if they wanted. I simply explained to them that I was going to BF for as long as DS is interested-maybe age 1, maybe 2 or even longer, and that they need to get used to it-lol...to which they responded "thats just disgusting." I lauged it off and still think its kind of funny. Has anything this crazy happened to you mamas?

To answer some of your questions, I think my sis thinks its "disgusting" because our mother was very hands off, and although Ive worked hard to develop an understanding that closeness is healthy and desireable, my sis still has my mom's (unhealthy) view of closeness (i.e., that it is gross, uncomfortable etc.) and my sis will never change that-esp. b/c my mom is now deceased my sis idolizes my mom even more-Ive had my own intervention for her on that topic-lol.

And, to add to the story, my bff is presently expecting a daughter and although she says she wants to BF, I think her confidence is waning and she is projecting that on me a little (i.e., if I cant BF, you cant either). Also, my bff has a very old school hands off parenting style whereas Im more attachment oriented....so I just dont think they could ever understand....but, they dont have to understand for me to keep doing it I will do it regardless of where their minds are-haha! Their jaws nearly dropped when I told them I will be BFing at my bff's unborn daughter's first birthday party

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Old 02-23-2011, 06:33 AM   #2
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

Oh my, that's just insane! I'm sorry your sister and BF aren't supportive, you keep doing the right thing for your family and they can keep their opinions to themselves
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Old 02-23-2011, 06:37 AM   #3
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

I'd be pissed... even if they have a problem with it, its none of their business....
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Old 02-23-2011, 06:44 AM   #4
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

Seriously? He's only 5 MONTHS old. Like the PP, I'd be ticked and hurt.
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Old 02-23-2011, 06:47 AM   #5
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

I'd be mad too! If he was 5 ok whatever, still none of their business but I'd probably expect it from them, but he is 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!! Of course you are still bf him. I hope you have a wonderful LONG bf relationship with that baby!
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Old 02-23-2011, 06:50 AM   #6
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I'd be mad too! If he was 5 ok whatever, still none of their business but I'd probably expect it from them, but he is 5 MONTHS!!!!!!!!!! Of course you are still bf him. I hope you have a wonderful LONG bf relationship with that baby!
Yeah at 5 months there is still nurtional value, they want you to put him on formula for the next 7 months?!?!?
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Old 02-23-2011, 06:59 AM   #7
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

I'd ask them if they are willing to pay for the formula, maybe that will shut them up!
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Old 02-23-2011, 07:02 AM   #8
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by amb2j View Post
So, yesterday, my sister (with whom I am VERY close :-)and best friend (since we were 5) called me (on three way) as an intervention to get me to stop breastfeeding DS. Their arguments were 1) He is too big to be breastfeeding still (granted, he is the size of a 12 mo but he is still 5 mo) 2) After a certain point there are little to no nutritional advantages (I explained to them they were correct, but nutrition is not the only reason I am doing it-also emotional and psychological reasons). They had some other superficial arguments, but when it all boiled down, I think they are just 1) uneducated about BF and 2) a little jealous-they both have children, but none of them have jobs that really supported BF or the lifestyle/support that would allow them to BF even if they wanted. I simply explained to them that I was going to BF for as long as DS is interested-maybe age 1, maybe 2 or even longer, and that they need to get used to it-lol...to which they responded "thats just disgusting." I lauged it off and still think its kind of funny. Has anything this crazy happened to you mamas?
Weird I've never heard of that. Well maybe once when the NP told me at one of DS2 dr's visit. I looked at her like she had 3 eyes.
Sorry to hear of another dissapointing story glad you can laugh it off though cuz I'd need someone to hold me back
Gosh theres so many more benefits that people dont realize like helping to protect against diabetes types 1 and 2, meningitis, stomach viruses, ear infections, lower respiratory infections, allergies and the list goes on. And not just your baby but its healthy for you too.
So I'm curious why she thinks its disgusting? What could be disgusting about a mother and her child having this opportunity thats just so naturally meant to be?
Is it cause she views boobs as something purely for behind the scenes hint hint? My mother did but she never said it. Shes old school I mean the woman couldnt even tell me about my period like before it was supposed to happen and like had an out of body experience just by getting enough "nerve" when I was 15 if I had gotten it and of course got mad cuz I hadnt told her
Anyhow its good to hear your not letting them make you think otherwise. Your baby will thank you later
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Old 02-23-2011, 07:05 AM   #9
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

Well, that sounds like the silliest intervention ever! Interventions are supposed to be for people with REAL problems! I recommend reading The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, a LLL book, and finding a support meeting near you. I also suggest you tell your sister and bff to do the same - read the book and attend some meetings. Heck, in my town, the LLL senior leaders even post their phone numbers on the LLL website and mamas can just call with questions!

One of my tactics in avoiding other people telling me what to do is A. doing my homework, and B. talk about my decisions in the norm, despite it not being "socially accepted". So, when I said I was having a homebirth, I just talked about it casually as if nothing was odd about it. If I was questioned about it, I can easily mention the statistics that show c-sections are way out of balance here in the USA due to drug intervention. I can casually talk about the millenia of women who have been birthing in the bush before I was even born.
When I talk about breast-feeding, I have no problem saying I hope hope hope that my daughter breastfeeds for at least two years. It's all in the tone -- "well, obviously I'd want to BF for as long as possible, wouldn't you??" Not with an elitist tone, but what you are implying is wouldn't you want what is best for your kid for as long as possible?? And I've gotten very little resistance. If I get any "oh that's weird!!" kind of comments, I remind them that when a kid is 18 months, it's not an EBF baby. It will eat solids, but when it falls and bonks its head or wants to go to sleep, nursing is there to help them.

I've also found that using the "sleep card" works wonders. "Ew! You co-sleep! That sounds so dangerous! Don't you want your alone time?" And I can reply with, "Well, however my daughter falls asleep is how it's going to be because I want to sleep!" This could be used for nursing for sure. Who doesn't love the power of the boob and the magic of nursing down?!?!
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Old 02-23-2011, 07:07 AM   #10
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Re: Intervention to end BFing?!

Oh I would be LIVID!!! I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I would be so upset, I don't think I could ever forgive them.
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