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Old 03-03-2011, 11:04 PM   #1
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# of Kids and STUFF

Was your decision about how many kids to have partially decided because of the stuff you have, or situation you're in?

Meaning... I don't want to/can't buy a new car (van!) so we can't have more than 2 kids.

Just curious

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Old 03-04-2011, 04:32 AM   #2
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

For us, stuff didn't dictate the amount of kids we have/had... am I done yet, I sure hope so. I grew up sharing a room with my brother and we were perfectly content with it. So naturally the amount of rooms/size of hour house isn't an issue with the amount of kids we have. We had a small car when DD was born. It was a huge pain for the whole family to go anywhere together. We did a lot of scrimping and saving along with sacrificing material and luxuries in life to get Mini. Now we have three kids and room for 2 more in the mini... I am very much sure I am done with kids. Its not the amount of room we have, I just don't think my mothering abilities can take on another. I am sure if we did have another one I would make it work but I am just done because I am done.
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Old 03-04-2011, 08:03 AM   #3
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

stuff does dictate for us. I don't think kids need every brand new thing in the world but we also don't want to have so many kids that our current children are not able to enjoy as many opportunities in life because of major financial restrictions. This is one of the main reasons why our third baby will probably be our last. If we did have another, I am sure that we wouldn't have more than 4. Thats the right size for us with the lifestyle that we hope to have. I don't think my kids are spoiled but they are very fortunate. We plan to do music lessons, private school/homeschool and other opportunities with each of them and those things take sacrifices.
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Old 03-04-2011, 08:37 AM   #4
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

At this point in time, "stuff" is part of why we won't be having another child for at least year, if not at all.

My kids are 5, 3, and 1. I have a booster seat and two car seats in my SUV and cannot fit another car seat. We cannot afford to get another vehicle right now.

We also live in a 2 bedroom apartment right now. My two older boys share a room, and the baby co-sleeps with me. I don't have ROOM for another child in this apartment and we can't afford to move right now.

In addition, my husband goes to school full time during the day and works full time in the evening. So he's not home to help me much or to spend alot of time with the kids.

Once my husband is out of school and settled into his career, then we can re-evaluate "the baby situation." I really would like to have one more baby, but my husband thinks we're done with three. We are both keeping open minds though, and when our situation changes, he agrees to think about having another one, and I agree to thinking about could I be happy with just our three boys.

So I guess the short answer is... "stuff" is part of the reason we're not having another child anytime soon. The two main ones are the vehicle and apartment are both too small.

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Old 03-04-2011, 09:36 AM   #5
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

I wouldn't say stuff for us, for us its more the adoption process - the agency's are mostly corrupt (I'm sure there are some good ones but I didn't find any that didn't do something gross and over charge and I hated a lot of the stuff they did with the expectant/birthmoms) & private via advertising is $$$ to and its a lot to try again and "hope" for another child as if it doesn't happen I'd feel really bad about wasting money that could have been used for other things, we worry about paying for college and graduate school for two kids (ok, I know we don't have to fully pay but it would be nice if they do well and give them a good start), etc.

With our house, we could move further out to a bigger one as with me not working there is no need for us to be here and we'll need to replace my husband's car at some point so its a non-issue but we have on practical family car. But, they raised 2-3 kids in our house just fine so to me, you make it work.

So, with all that said, I still am completely undecided - if through word of mouth we could adopt, we'd do it in a heart beat, but hum..... more making sure our child/ren have the opportunity for solid futures/i.e. college dictates it more.
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Old 03-04-2011, 10:18 AM   #6
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

"Stuff" had nothing to do with size for us. Lifestyle and finances did play a HUGE role.

Our kids are able to do things that many don't get to do. They don't have loads of things but they do play sports, travel, we have a boat etc.

Kids don't need "stuff" but I do believe they need a stable home with solid finances. I feel it's my job to make sure they can experience a good childhood. That includes those silly extras like being able to afford books at the school book fair, hot lunch day (lunches are not provided in Canada and are a special treat which costs about $10 per kid.), playing sports etc.

As far as house and car size - I do think that matters. If you can't fit everyone in the car - how can you do things together - we go out together A LOT - for drives, for the day, to the beach etc.

That being said we've had to make some major changes for our newest on the way. I had to trade-in my car for a Yukon XL and we are moving this summer. The kids could very well end up sharing rooms in our new home and that is totally OK as long as they have enough space to be comfortable, which in our current home is becoming harder.
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Old 03-04-2011, 10:38 AM   #7
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

Well...I like having my little Prius (or maybe an Audi A3 TDI someday) but for us it really boils down to three things:

1. Hyperemesis Gravidarum
2. We are both 37
3. We think 2 is right for us

I totally get that some women just keep popping kids with HG, but I've had enough. I also did not enjoy the newborn stage of life and neither did my husband, what with the colic and late nights. We only have enough "whatever" to make it through that once more.
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So I guess "stuff" is really far down on the list - but it is on the list, in terms of lifestyle capacity.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:27 PM   #8
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

Not really for us. We had a frontier truck when we just had DD1, then before DD2 came we traded in for a Mazda5, then we traded in last year for a Jeep Commander and that was before I got pregnant with DD3. If we ever do have a 4th child, we'll probably trade in again for something bigger than our Jeep (I'm just not a mini-van wanting mom ) For us, "stuff" doesn't really come into play when deciding to have more children. It's more of thinking about future plans, DH is military so he's gone a lot and it leaves me with being a "single parent" often, so whether I feel like I can handle another child with being their primary parent on my own often, my health at the time (I have Crohns), and that I haven't had good deliveries with previous pregnancies so it's a big worry of mine when deciding to have more children. I'm not sure if we'll be done after this baby or not. It'll probably depend a lot on how the delivery goes and that DH is probably going to end up on a 2 year unaccompanied tour in the next year or so.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:39 PM   #9
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

"Stuff" will dictate for us too. I hate, hate, hate clutter. I do not want anything more than a 4 door car/sedan. Carseats are expensive as well. Moreso, I do not want more than a 3 bedroom house.. I just think financially for us both now and in the long run it'd be better if we not have as many children. So, the tops would be 3 children for us. But most likley, two, if I can convince hubby to have another. If I can even convince him to have another.. Lol. I do NOT want DS to be an only child. But if we had any accidental pregnancies, and if we ever reached a 3rd pregnancy, I'd be fixed AND he'd be fixed as soon as baby was born.
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Old 03-04-2011, 12:45 PM   #10
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Re: # of Kids and STUFF

Stuff as in the number of THINGS we can have over the Jones'? No, but...we were very young when our DS surprised us and for a while it was a struggle to make ends meet & have some 'fun' (which is important to us ~ makes life enjoyable to go out to eat and play once in a while). So we decided to just be able to give HIM everything we wanted to give him comfortably and once we were in a position to do that again for another child we had DD. I'm not saying I spoil my kids but I felt like it was important for us to be able to give him experiences that unfortunately like life, cost $$.
Hell Little League alone costs us about $300 a season. That is my son's passion and hobby and if we had a bunch of kids there's no way we'd be able to afford to nurture that passion. To me that's a very important job as a parent.
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