Diaper Swappers

3NavyBabies · 03-06-2011, 03:49 PM

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but I figure you all will have an opinion.

I am 26, my husband just turned 28. We have 3 kids (6,3 and 2 in May). Since I was a kid, I always wanted 3 kids. And I always desperately wanted 2 girls since I don't have a sister. Now that I have 3, I want one more. I would really like to try for a boy, but I would love to have another girl, too. The problem is that dh was content with just having 1. He is gone 6-8 months out of every year since May 2004, and at work everyday when he's not gone. I homeschool our oldest, and pretty much do it all by myself. He was saying NO! to another one, but the other day he brought it up. We talked about names and such, and then he was like idk, I have time to decide. He goes on shore duty next June, and I would really like to be due in May or June, so that we could actually spend the infancy of ONE of our children together!

So my advice is...well, anything that comes to mind. What do I do? I cry a lot of days because I'm not ready to be done. My youngest was conceived the day dh came home from Iraq. I love him and the 19 month seperation between dd2, but I was not ready to be done. I keep praying God will change his heart, but I just don't see it happening. I need a way to convince him or be ok myself.

Mommieof3monkeys · 03-06-2011, 04:59 PM

This is a very touchy subject because of the emotions involved. I felt the same way when I had 3 kiddos mine are 5, 3, 1 and I am expecting again. After DS#2 who is 1 I felt like I really wanted to try again, I wanted to try and give DD a sister well now I am expecting my 3rd boy lol. I am happy either way but this was my main motivation for having a #4. My DH was also against a 4th he would have been happy with just 1. I talked to him about it and finally came around. I now know that I do not want anymore after #4. I would sit your DH down and explain to him how you feel. They always say you know when you are done having kids and I agree, if you feel you are not done then I would voice this to your DH

3NavyBabies · 03-06-2011, 05:53 PM

Oh he totally know. I am not one to hide my opinions. lol. His reasons are not legitimate (money, stress on me during deployments, would have to paint a bedroom to accommodate, etc), and it frustrates me because it is purely selfish. Which maybe me wanting another one is selfish, too, but I don't see it that way. I want a big family for my kids, and for us in the future. I know that I do not want a #5, and I will get "fixed" after #4. Which is why I think he brought it up the other day. He is terrified to get a vasectomy, and I will only have surgery if I get a #4. lol.

3NavyBabies · 03-08-2011, 10:47 AM

So hubby came home last night and asked if we could be together that night. I said sure. He said without protection? He changed his mind...or gave in rather. lol. I said what made you change your mind? He said you know you were going to get what you want. SO yay! I'm going to be trying for #4 in August!

Mamatoabunch · 03-08-2011, 11:54 AM

I read your original post, but had nothing useful to share, but am thrilled to read your newest update!

03-06-2011, 03:49 PM	#1
3NavyBabies Registered Users Formerly: izynalysmomma Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: OKLAHOMA Posts: 1,151 Ratings: 52 Feedback: 98%	Baby advice I'm not sure if this is the right place to post, but I figure you all will have an opinion. I am 26, my husband just turned 28. We have 3 kids (6,3 and 2 in May). Since I was a kid, I always wanted 3 kids. And I always desperately wanted 2 girls since I don't have a sister. Now that I have 3, I want one more. I would really like to try for a boy, but I would love to have another girl, too. The problem is that dh was content with just having 1. He is gone 6-8 months out of every year since May 2004, and at work everyday when he's not gone. I homeschool our oldest, and pretty much do it all by myself. He was saying NO! to another one, but the other day he brought it up. We talked about names and such, and then he was like idk, I have time to decide. He goes on shore duty next June, and I would really like to be due in May or June, so that we could actually spend the infancy of ONE of our children together! So my advice is...well, anything that comes to mind. What do I do? I cry a lot of days because I'm not ready to be done. My youngest was conceived the day dh came home from Iraq. I love him and the 19 month seperation between dd2, but I was not ready to be done. I keep praying God will change his heart, but I just don't see it happening. I need a way to convince him or be ok myself. __________________ Jena, Conservative Christian Navy wife to Lance, Homeschooling momma to Isabella (9.15.04), Alyvia (9.25.07) and Jett (5.6.09)

03-06-2011, 05:53 PM	#3
3NavyBabies Registered Users Formerly: izynalysmomma Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: OKLAHOMA Posts: 1,151 Ratings: 52 Feedback: 98%	Re: Baby advice Oh he totally know. I am not one to hide my opinions. lol. His reasons are not legitimate (money, stress on me during deployments, would have to paint a bedroom to accommodate, etc), and it frustrates me because it is purely selfish. Which maybe me wanting another one is selfish, too, but I don't see it that way. I want a big family for my kids, and for us in the future. I know that I do not want a #5, and I will get "fixed" after #4. Which is why I think he brought it up the other day. He is terrified to get a vasectomy, and I will only have surgery if I get a #4. lol. __________________ Jena, Conservative Christian Navy wife to Lance, Homeschooling momma to Isabella (9.15.04), Alyvia (9.25.07) and Jett (5.6.09)

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03-08-2011, 11:54 AM	#5
Mamatoabunch Registered Users Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,464 Ratings: 18 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Baby advice I read your original post, but had nothing useful to share, but am thrilled to read your newest update! __________________ Annabelle Mom to Makaley 19, Arden 19, Anniston 17, Taegan 14, Balen 12, Kellen 10, Ellery 8, Innish 6, Eiley 4, Finnian 3, and Esca 1, my 9th HBAC, 8th UC and sweet pea expected 1/14.