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Old 04-02-2011, 06:01 PM   #11
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

I would definitly fix the DH problem first! Your DH needs to learn not to go against what you say! Especially on someything like that!

My MIl used to bad but we get along now for the most part. I can say when I didn't agree with her thhough she did not see me or my daughter (mostly because she wouldn't listen to my rules about DD)

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Old 04-02-2011, 08:44 PM   #12
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

Put your foot down, Mama. I had to do it and to this day, I still get crapola for it sometimes (almost 4yrs since Mommy's Last Stand- LOL), but I don't get walked all over anymore! My in-laws respect that I am the wife, I am the mother, and do NOT undermine me in my home and/or with my family. Doing so will earn you a one way ticket out our front door and that will be the end of it.
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Old 04-02-2011, 09:01 PM   #13
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

Wow this is all so yuck! How did she ever get this power in your house? Poor you! This is all totally crazy! I am so so sorry for you! Maybe you should tell DH you don't see this as sustainable and that you forsee walking away at some breaking point. He probably doesn't get that it is that big, which it totally is! It breaks down you guys as a family. She should not be allowed to tell the children to disregard their parents! My god that is so far out of line and really truly bad for those poor boys who are trying to figure this world out and where they stand in it. She is not doing them any favors and neither is your husband by letting it go on! Good luck to you with this hot mess. I would be furious and there would be NO contact at all with her until she mended her ways... especially excluding the children and going against your decisions. I am super hard core about that stuff because I totally see it as a danger to my family...it erodes us and leaves us weakened. We need all the strength we can get keeping families together in this divorce filled world.
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Old 04-02-2011, 10:26 PM   #14
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

DH knows its one of the many issues that has led to us not being as close as we could be. I don't expect life to be totally fair and unmessy. When trying to combine DH's first wifes family *his first wife died 10 months after the 8 year old was born* and Dh's mom and my family............ it gets messy. But I do expect to be respected in my own home, and if I request you treat all the kids the same, I expect that too. They are just kids.
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Old 04-03-2011, 11:52 AM   #15
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

I agree with those who say fix your issues with your DH first. The whole car being in her name wouldn't fly with me. That needs to be fixed now. I wouldn't pay for gas or anything else having to do with that vehicle until her name is off of the title.

And, your DH needs to respect you. How do you expect your MIL to respect what you say if your DH and the children don't? When you say no going out this weekend, even to grandma's, then they shouldn't go out. When they left with your MIL it showed all of them that it is okay to be disrespectful and not listen to what you say. That is not okay. You need to have a talk with your DH and stand up for yourself.

Once you and your DH are on the same page, it should be easier dealing with MIL. But he is going to have to show her that you have his respect and need to be respected by her as well.
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Old 04-03-2011, 01:48 PM   #16
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Re: extremely upset and frustrated with MIL

That is just so wrong that she would treat those kids that way, on top of completely disrespecting you.

And I agree with all the pp's. I hope this gets better soon - she is just toxic.
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