I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

[MiaAnjuli]

I hope things are going ok for you, momma.

[sheleighya]

Hi, everyone, and each one!

I have had another run in after the jailing situation in March/April 2010 referred to in my previous update. I have struggled much to stay current. But I can say it is a winning battle, though not easy with my current income, and even with full time work. I'm keeping my faith high, and not falsely so. My spirit tells me that my Source, my Deliverer, is working this out in my favor- He alone is my expectation and my hope is in Him.

About the run-in..., I was summoned to court for being behind on child support in Sept/2010, after the last hearing in March 2010 in which I went to jail for 24 hours. Little did I know, the hearing was scheduled in a different court than the court for all comtempt cases for c-support or child custody hearings. I was quite shocked to learn that my EH's lawyer was working to make matters remain as private as possible. However, at that time there was nothing I could do anyhow that I knew of.

I practically lost faith the week previous to the court date in September. I put forth much effort to stay prayed up, and in positive faith toward my Redeemer, because this hearing was simply bogus from the root up. Still, I just knew I would loose everything, if something did not intercept the devourer's plans.

My mother in despair broke down and began calling every lawyer in the yellow pages. With much dissappointment, nothing was successful. Come down to the last few, a glimmer of hope shone through an older lawyer that referred her to another lawyer that is a newbie.

She spoke to this newly practicing lawyer and he felt her heart wrenching pain due to all the cruelty of this situation. He promised her that he will not let her down. This happened on a Friday, and the hearing was to occur the Tuesday following. I could not see how he can save me, or do anything, being so close to the date, and we haven't met or spoke much. This attorney was seeking to get a job in the next city about 1.5 hours away, and just really didn't know how he was going to make a difference, but sure was willing to go out on a lim for me and my mother, and my boys.

I wanted to trust that this man was sent by God, but why so late I kept thinking. However, he was faithful to promptly make phone contact on Monday morning to go over the details and history of the c-support issues. He saw the cruelty, the personal vindetta to hurt me on behalf of the other party. He understood the lack of experience on my part, and my true need give me help for little to no cost.

And that he did, he stepped in at the nick of time, and pleaded for whatever mercies, and rights he could assert. To my relief all went well. It was a true story of redemption, it was a very real expression from Yahweh of how he will never forsake or leave me to be destroyed by the enemy. My EH may not reealize the extent to which he is stepping up against me, even to the hurt of his own character and/or soul. But God said, not so, even when my faith had grew unstable! I knew there was nothing I could have done to save myself from being thrown in jail a second time, even though their evidence was lacking.

We agreed to have my checks wage assigned, place the case is in the hands of DSS by my EH's wishes in their hopes to have things tyed up in the system. But that was actually to my benefit since it moved his lawyer out of the way, disarming him from his deadly weapon of a lawyer. Did I say to MY benefit? I prefer it that way, and much more than him now. DSS is not out to take a person down, unless they can prove willful neglect to pay, and see that individuals not trying.

I got sick and hurt at the end of November, and again in January, and I simply explained that to DSS, though I have doc's to prove it. EH don't care, but they at least was willing to accept that much. So, it's a mystery how DSS cares more than him, his lawyer, and the judge that has some exposure to the folly of their ways, but still granted them their pleadings based upon inaccuracy and bad faith in March of 2010.

However, I still have to make up the amount from December due to illness/injury, but that's already being done. Everything else is going as it should in terms of c-support. My EH is using that "hiccup" I had in Decemeber 2010 to deny me from having court ordered daily phone contact, stating that he cannot pay the cell phone bill to sustain communications with the boys and I during their time with him (about 20 days out of each month since I get them 8 overnights). However, those boys are all the more attached to me, and constantly remind me of how they prefer their mommy over their dad at the tender ages of 5.5 and 3.5.

They are looking forward, as I am, to the day when there will be no more separation between children and parents by third parties. I teach them that God intends to make it so that they can visit with whichever parent they choose, whenever they choose when Christ comes again. I teach them that even now, they can love us both, but know that my heart always longs to be with them.

They are still feeling pulled between us both, of course. But they are slowly getting adjusted to the way things are, and here it is, almost 3 years later. They miss nursing a bit, and school days are hard and challenging for them, because they always let me know that they want to stay with me. I am slowly adjusting to going 9 whole days at a time without any face to face contact, and now since November 2010 no phone contact by dad's choice although court ordered.

It's all coming to and end, I can see that with my spiritual eyes. This will not be forever, and I see that this year is my year of jubilee, and things are already turning around.

Pray for my boys. Between the both of use, dad and I both have moved way to many times since the beginning of this ordeal (his 4 and my 2). He also calls the belt "momma," and the boys still show signs of rough adjustment between the two of us.

I don't know how, but Jehovah is working this out for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose. That may mean for the good of each one involved, and it may not. Yet, I pray that it is so!

Thanks mama,

Be wise, and be blessed!

[sugacube]

I'm so sorry mama. What ordeal to go thru! For your children too. Do you mean to say that he uses a belt for discipline and calls it "momma" or am I mistaken? Maybe that will be the rope he hangs himself with. What a twisted person to do that.

[shortstuff21313]

i am so sorry. Words cannot express how sad this system is.

[Almacham]

I'm so sorry.

[sheleighya]

Originally Posted by sugacube I'm so sorry mama. What ordeal to go thru! For your children too. Do you mean to say that he uses a belt for discipline and calls it "momma" or am I mistaken? Maybe that will be the rope he hangs himself with. What a twisted person to do that.

Yes, ma'am! You are not mistaken. He's out of control even to the point of physical abuse/violence against me as of 5-25-11, in front of church members, their children, and shamefully, our 6 year old son, who was caught up in the middle of him assaulting me at his own Kindergarten graduation celebration.

This is a sad situation to be in, and I'm trying now to get something done about it asap, but my witness (the guy who pulled him off me) won't come with me to file charges, but says he will not oppose being supeonaed by the courts. However, I am having a hard time trying to a domestic violence case, or assault charges in the courts, because the magistrate's office will not take me at my word except I have that witness. I've been bugging legal aid, but getting a run around, so please send your prayers to the God of heaven and earth if you are a believer, I need His guidance and power to keep at it. I battle with making light of his physical attack and doing whatever it takes to make sure he doesn't be left to believe that his actions are excusable or acceptable.

I know many of can't help but care, because your hearts are compassionate, so thanks for being concerned enough to send me hugs, and encouragment.

[lactivistmama]

Just sending hugs and thoughts to you!!

[mom22boysand1girl]

First of all to you MAMA. I am so sorry you are going through this. I have never seen this thread before. A mama on off topic posted it.
How can I help?????
You can not do this alone. I just read the whole thread and was s emotional with you.
Please let us know what we on DS can do to help you. No MAMA should ever have to go through this

[TinaDeanette]

[~happy2Bamommy~]

Originally Posted by sugacube I'm so sorry mama. What ordeal to go thru! For your children too. Do you mean to say that he uses a belt for discipline and calls it "momma" or am I mistaken? Maybe that will be the rope he hangs himself with. What a twisted person to do that.

Have you shared this with your lawyer?

Originally Posted by sheleighya Yes, ma'am! You are not mistaken. He's out of control even to the point of physical abuse/violence against me as of 5-25-11, in front of church members, their children, and shamefully, our 6 year old son, who was caught up in the middle of him assaulting me at his own Kindergarten graduation celebration. This is a sad situation to be in, and I'm trying now to get something done about it asap, but my witness (the guy who pulled him off me) won't come with me to file charges, but says he will not oppose being supeonaed by the courts. However, I am having a hard time trying to a domestic violence case, or assault charges in the courts, because the magistrate's office will not take me at my word except I have that witness. I've been bugging legal aid, but getting a run around, so please send your prayers to the God of heaven and earth if you are a believer, I need His guidance and power to keep at it. I battle with making light of his physical attack and doing whatever it takes to make sure he doesn't be left to believe that his actions are excusable or acceptable. I know many of can't help but care, because your hearts are compassionate, so thanks for being concerned enough to send me hugs, and encouragment.

Is it possible that other witnesses would go with you? It doesn't seem that the only one whose words would matter is the one who pulled him away from you... BEG others who witnessed this to notarize statements or to go in with you to get this on file.