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|05-02-2011, 09:49 PM||#1|
going back to work after 2 1/2 yrs .... EEEkkkkk
Im so nervous and tense and scared and just have a huge knot in my stomach. I have to go back to work after being out of the "scene" since january 2009
I honestly dont want to but at this point i have to Im blessed i was able to stay with him this long but i kinda just needed some support. Its my pity party and i can cry if i want to
I just feel like this is not possible, like i will never be able to do this. Im so nervous cause i feel like im out of the loop from "the real world" I havent been in a social setting on a day to day basis since i had to leave work way back when. Im mean ive basically been hanging out with my son for going on 2 yrs now so my face to face socializing is just not on par with other "normal" 24 yr olds (or atleast thats my fear). All the people i know my age are party animals and i dont knock it but i feel like i wont have much in common with them. I feel like the old fuddy duddy Its so disheartening cause i think i have actually created this little fear monster in my belly that makes my feel sick to my stomache whe i think about doing this.
Well as far as working is concerned im good at 2 things (or use to be)
Administrative assistant, but ive been out of the loop and think i should probably attend a MS class just to catch up and
Waitressing which i was absolutely great at and made ALOT of money for what i did. I worked thursday, friday, saturday and sunday and made 700-800 a week but the fear monster has me feeling crippled. I just dont know if i could be that carismatic, outgoing and fearless person i use to be.
My biggest fear is ill go and really try to do this and ill fail. I dont want to come across as lazy, which i might have through my tear feast, i want to work. I just want to feel confident in doing it.
end of pity party
Melody, mama to my big boy A 07/10/09 and my new lil boy G 10/20/13
” and she loved a little boy so very very much, even more than she loved herself ” m.b